it hurts to breath.

[_hekissedmedead]

why am i such a fucking idiot.
everything that i get that i should hold onto and love i throw away.
i talked to blake last night. he acted like i was never even a part of him.
he has a new gf, and i like her.
i know her.
but hurts, but i shouldn't hurt. i'm the one who wanted it over.
gosh, i don't know.
i miss it.
i miss his smile, i miss how his eyes would squint alot when he laughed hard.
i miss how i would tell him something about him, and he would blush and turn away.
i miss the car rides home.
i miss him singing to me.
i miss all the plans we had together.
i miss the way his hair would curl when it started to get long.
i miss the way he would cup his hands around my face and tell me he loved me.
i miss the 100 messages i would get from him everyday.
i miss the way he called me lady.
i miss his quirkyness.
i miss his beautiful eyes.
i miss how he would hold me for hours.
i miss watching movies.
i miss his family.
i miss pididdle.
i miss bowling.
i miss the focus.
i miss how he always said i was perfect.
i miss how he would just watch me.
i miss when he'd pick me up from school.
i miss the huddle house.
i miss gugga.
i miss his bed.
i miss the smell of his house.
i miss valentine's day.
i miss this.


i miss that cover.
i miss his kisses.
i miss his hugs.
i miss december 31.
i miss him. alot.

why was i so fucking stupid?
i wish i knew.

parking lots, and bowling alleys.