what the hell?

[_having_amnesia]

i have no idea how its possible that i could have spent more than two years with a person (and almost a year living with them) and look at pictures of them now and feel like they are-- and always were--total strangers

Comments

[oh_andrea]

I could have written this same post, only about Joel. I am astounded when I look at pictures of us kissing. Any recollection of us loving one another feels like it has been eradicated from my mind. Coupled with the fact that he has all internet trail of any intimacy he had for me permanently purged and all tangible evidence that was in his possession was sent to me long ago; those two and a half years may have just not existed.

It is disheartening to think someone I know I was so in love with, based on my own documentation from that time, is a person I haven't seen eye to eye with in years.

You think any amount of time spent should leave some connection. Even if it is only a passing glance of cognitive recollection and not something apocryphal. But there is nothing. Just some left over disfavour and bitterness, even though I feel I deserve something more.

What's worse yet, is the credit given for teaching love, saving skin and breathing life back into his lungs, is most certainly not given to me. It's lavished upon a slut of 6 months commitment.

Alas. It's been too long since we've had a cup of coffee and shared some cheese-less fries.

[_having_amnesia]

Yeah, it's strange. The only time I can feel anything remotely familiar for him is when I listen to the Beatles. But even then it's like I am remembering a dream--the hope of true love and intimacy rather than the thing itself. It bums me out that that was the case and it bums me out more that we let it go for so long. I can't remember anything good anymore. Just hurt. I look back on two years that should have been good but instead just feel like dying. And now there is only bitterness on both sides. It's weird how things can fall apart.

I'm sorry you get no acknowledgment from Joel. That's rough.

And yes, we are overdue for a date. It seems like your life has had some drama lately!