Suck
God, I hate this.
Every single time I wake up, I dread my life... If it can even be called a life. I just want something to change. SOMETHING! ANYTHING!
Fuck, I don't want to upset anyone, but I just hate everything. I want it to be done. I can't escape this shit. I know people love me, I know. There's just nothing they can do. Nothing I can do. I feel like such a selfish fuck for not taking that love into account. It's so fucking messed up. I have no outlet. I'm trapped. There's not a thing I can do to change my fate immediately.
The closest thing I came to is joining the military. It's a death wish, I know. But it's the closest I can get to suicide without seeming crazy. And if I don't die, then I'm a triumphant hero and all that shit. I'll be a glorified criminal. No one would know the shit that I went through for the "glory."
FUCK. There isn't an easy choice. One of these nights, I'll just have to act on my thoughts. It wouldn't be anyone's fault... I just don't care enough to deal with the bullshit of this world. Nothing is real, everything is superficial, pointless, and overpopulated. People need to be gone. So, alas, I'd be one less in the line of fucked up beings created by the chaos of this world.
And at least I can embrace that. There is NOTHING to life. Really. We're all just egotistical animals that think we matter because some molecular bond in our brains tells us we're better than everything else. Fuck that. We all need to die and let life do whatever the havoc dictates.
Ugh.
Every single time I wake up, I dread my life... If it can even be called a life. I just want something to change. SOMETHING! ANYTHING!
Fuck, I don't want to upset anyone, but I just hate everything. I want it to be done. I can't escape this shit. I know people love me, I know. There's just nothing they can do. Nothing I can do. I feel like such a selfish fuck for not taking that love into account. It's so fucking messed up. I have no outlet. I'm trapped. There's not a thing I can do to change my fate immediately.
The closest thing I came to is joining the military. It's a death wish, I know. But it's the closest I can get to suicide without seeming crazy. And if I don't die, then I'm a triumphant hero and all that shit. I'll be a glorified criminal. No one would know the shit that I went through for the "glory."
FUCK. There isn't an easy choice. One of these nights, I'll just have to act on my thoughts. It wouldn't be anyone's fault... I just don't care enough to deal with the bullshit of this world. Nothing is real, everything is superficial, pointless, and overpopulated. People need to be gone. So, alas, I'd be one less in the line of fucked up beings created by the chaos of this world.
And at least I can embrace that. There is NOTHING to life. Really. We're all just egotistical animals that think we matter because some molecular bond in our brains tells us we're better than everything else. Fuck that. We all need to die and let life do whatever the havoc dictates.
Ugh.