beginning to worry.
the computer is a fantastic tool in my life:
but here's the worry: computer as entertainment device, boredom alleviator, goof off accessory is overtaking my productive use as primary use. i had one of those flashes of insight that i've been having (or recognizing) more of lately (yay!) about my life: this "tool" is getting harder to use, since i almost compulsively take a break every few minutes to read twitter, or play scrabble. when trying to do "real work" (be that for business or pleasure), the siren song of personal email is frequently too hard to resist.
i guess i have it easy--i check only a handful of sites daily, and most of them don't have enough content to distract me for long. i read my handful of favorite webcomics in no more than 10 minutes on any day--usually just a couple minutes. my livejournal friends page is almost empty these days (i have filtered it down to a level which from which i can fully catch up for missed weeks in an hour or two). twitter can entertain me for around a half-hour per 8 hours of america's-not-sleeping realtime, and is my go-to "waste 15-60 seconds now!" device. but again, even it runs out at some point of constant reloading. scrabble is in theory infinite in its availability, but i do stop finding it fun after some number of games--between 1 and 20. and then i have a refractory period ranging from minutes to a couple of days. so i'm lucky that i don't do reddit, or troll youtube (often, anyway), or have a netflix subscription, or play on the forums anywhere, or even play games, particularly, these days--i wouldn't have to quash many individual habits to get down to an all-business lifestyle. not a lot of different things to cut out. and frankly, the compulsion frequently isn't even that enjoyable. i could probably and should probably try going cold turkey on quitting scrabble for awhile. i stand to regain a fair amount of online productivity.
...or find other distractions. that's what i worry about. that the computer-as-a-productivity-tool era of my life is fundamentally broken. but really i think that i could change, but don't want to. a more insidious addiction.
- without a calendar in my pocket in the form of a microcomputer (palm pilot, smart phone) i could never effectively live the life i'm trying to live (life goal!)--participant, doer, community builder, fun-lover, socialite. that technology has enabled me for 14 years now!
- without a keyboard i'd probably write far, far less--i haven't written anything serious on paper in 6 years (my last burningman trip journal). partly because my hands can't keep up with my head in that medium--i can't write 120wpm or even close, and when i try, my scrawl becomes illegible. partly because i am frustrated by the immutability of the handwritten word--editing is heinous. partly because a computer as a focus gives me some of the tunnel vision i need to cultivate to get in the zone to really feel the flow of prose that is the source of both my best [words :: intended meaning] matches (life goal!) and the most fun (other life goal!). that technology has enabled me for even longer.
- without computers as tools and people who need help making them behave as better tools for them, my lifelong total income would hover around $3000--about half and half a summer job at age 15 and pizza delivery for 3 months at age 25. technology is a valuable career skill. 17 years of enablement there.
- without social networks, i would have grown up very sheltered and ended up a much different person, and i would be a far worse friend than i am today. or anyway, i would have far fewer friends. i suppose i might treat those few far better, were i not spread so thin. but i like it the way it is. this line item actually wants to be a post of its own, i will remind myself later to do so, for the effect has been so positive since age 15 that i love to bask in its memory.
but here's the worry: computer as entertainment device, boredom alleviator, goof off accessory is overtaking my productive use as primary use. i had one of those flashes of insight that i've been having (or recognizing) more of lately (yay!) about my life: this "tool" is getting harder to use, since i almost compulsively take a break every few minutes to read twitter, or play scrabble. when trying to do "real work" (be that for business or pleasure), the siren song of personal email is frequently too hard to resist.
i guess i have it easy--i check only a handful of sites daily, and most of them don't have enough content to distract me for long. i read my handful of favorite webcomics in no more than 10 minutes on any day--usually just a couple minutes. my livejournal friends page is almost empty these days (i have filtered it down to a level which from which i can fully catch up for missed weeks in an hour or two). twitter can entertain me for around a half-hour per 8 hours of america's-not-sleeping realtime, and is my go-to "waste 15-60 seconds now!" device. but again, even it runs out at some point of constant reloading. scrabble is in theory infinite in its availability, but i do stop finding it fun after some number of games--between 1 and 20. and then i have a refractory period ranging from minutes to a couple of days. so i'm lucky that i don't do reddit, or troll youtube (often, anyway), or have a netflix subscription, or play on the forums anywhere, or even play games, particularly, these days--i wouldn't have to quash many individual habits to get down to an all-business lifestyle. not a lot of different things to cut out. and frankly, the compulsion frequently isn't even that enjoyable. i could probably and should probably try going cold turkey on quitting scrabble for awhile. i stand to regain a fair amount of online productivity.
...or find other distractions. that's what i worry about. that the computer-as-a-productivity-tool era of my life is fundamentally broken. but really i think that i could change, but don't want to. a more insidious addiction.