After Patrol
Think I fucked myself up tonight. I've been hittin' the patrols real hard, just because I'm so damned bored and restless and let's go on and admit it, frustrated. I was lurkin' around near what useta be Willy's bar and is now some schmancy bar & grill -- la di da. I heard somebody scream and I went tearin' through the alleys only to find out it was a setup. I shoulda been more careful. It was two vamps with one of 'em pretendin' to be the victim. I got 'em finally, but not without gettin' clawed across the face and havin' my shoulder knocked out of the socket.
I can't get it back in by myself, so I'm just layin' across the bed in B's room thinkin' about my miserable existence, tryin' not to cry and wishin' somebody would just shoot me. You think I'm kiddin', don't you? Everyone seems to be in bed, and I dunno where Oz is. Haven't seen him to talk to in days.
That bugs, too, but I know he's gotta be messed up still from havin' to kill that guy. I don't wanna push him. And then I wonder if he's stayin' away from me because I kissed him, although he didn't seem to mind. Kissed me back, even. I just wish, I dunno... Hell. I wish I didn't feel so much like damaged goods. It never bothered me that much 'til now. I don't blame him for not wantin' me. I kinda make myself sick, even, if I think about how I used to be.
Fuck it. I am not gonna cry.
I can't get it back in by myself, so I'm just layin' across the bed in B's room thinkin' about my miserable existence, tryin' not to cry and wishin' somebody would just shoot me. You think I'm kiddin', don't you? Everyone seems to be in bed, and I dunno where Oz is. Haven't seen him to talk to in days.
That bugs, too, but I know he's gotta be messed up still from havin' to kill that guy. I don't wanna push him. And then I wonder if he's stayin' away from me because I kissed him, although he didn't seem to mind. Kissed me back, even. I just wish, I dunno... Hell. I wish I didn't feel so much like damaged goods. It never bothered me that much 'til now. I don't blame him for not wantin' me. I kinda make myself sick, even, if I think about how I used to be.
Fuck it. I am not gonna cry.