alive...
Yup, still here... still alive. Just that should be something I'm happy about, and today I am. Tays up in SF seeing her sister off and hanging out with family. I think thats rad and I hope she's having fun.
I'm not really sure what to think about her and our future anymore. She hasnt told me that she misses me or that she loves me in sometime. We actually havnt even really texted much for the most part and I still havnt heard her voice since 4th of July. Just that little thing makes me think that she's over me.
She still has never called me back from when I called her on her bday... I guess to any normal person that would be a pretty clear sign saying.. " I dont wanna talk to you anymore "
Even though she has never said those actual words, her actions speak that loud and clear.
All I can do is sit here another month and see what happens, I guess she gets her liscense back this month... sooo like I said, just gotta wait and see what happens.
She's never really pulled me into her life in SM. She never brought me around her friends much, she seems like she likes having her own independent life away from me and she likes to hang out with people I dont know. Thats just my guess considering I never see her and she never talks to me about her life or her feelings.
Am I an idiot? Do I just need to snap out of it and realize that she's gone? Or am I just trippin because I've had no communication with her? I dont know how to feel or what to do....
You'd think when someone was close to being able to be free and come home that she would start talking to me more, and we'd start rebuilding our friendship. But honestly, the more time passes the farther she gets away and its just a slow drift.
I'm tired of always extending my hand and never getting anything back but at the sametime I care about her so much that I extend my hand any chance I get..... ugh.
Maybe someday she can open up and talk to me again, like she used to.
Maybe she will learn how heartbreaking this is for me and even though its the hardest thing in the world, for her to open up and tell me her feelings. Its necessary for me to know, so that way I can live a happier life thats not encased in darkness.
someday....
I'm not really sure what to think about her and our future anymore. She hasnt told me that she misses me or that she loves me in sometime. We actually havnt even really texted much for the most part and I still havnt heard her voice since 4th of July. Just that little thing makes me think that she's over me.
She still has never called me back from when I called her on her bday... I guess to any normal person that would be a pretty clear sign saying.. " I dont wanna talk to you anymore "
Even though she has never said those actual words, her actions speak that loud and clear.
All I can do is sit here another month and see what happens, I guess she gets her liscense back this month... sooo like I said, just gotta wait and see what happens.
She's never really pulled me into her life in SM. She never brought me around her friends much, she seems like she likes having her own independent life away from me and she likes to hang out with people I dont know. Thats just my guess considering I never see her and she never talks to me about her life or her feelings.
Am I an idiot? Do I just need to snap out of it and realize that she's gone? Or am I just trippin because I've had no communication with her? I dont know how to feel or what to do....
You'd think when someone was close to being able to be free and come home that she would start talking to me more, and we'd start rebuilding our friendship. But honestly, the more time passes the farther she gets away and its just a slow drift.
I'm tired of always extending my hand and never getting anything back but at the sametime I care about her so much that I extend my hand any chance I get..... ugh.
Maybe someday she can open up and talk to me again, like she used to.
Maybe she will learn how heartbreaking this is for me and even though its the hardest thing in the world, for her to open up and tell me her feelings. Its necessary for me to know, so that way I can live a happier life thats not encased in darkness.
someday....