(no subject)
its not that i want you. i need you..
and you feed me stuff that i should be
the judge of.
i think it was an easy way of telling me to fuck off.
in all honesty i think thats the case.
i dont have any growing to do...
im more mature than alot of college kids i know..
i dont need bullshit about maturing...
im 17 and im more mature than i should be at this age
i dont need bullshit about time...
because im not worried about having 4 days
to spend with you everyweek... im looking for 1 day.
to look in your eyes and see your smile. and know that
im alive for a reason. for you.
because that felt like the only real reason to breathe.
im not talking about suicide bullshit kids dont jump on my
case. if i wanted to die i would have done that a while back.
and if this is all just because i got mad about that drinking thing.
i dont understand... because you accused me of cheating...
and i was upset.. but i got over it. and i trust you,
like i said i just thought it was bad judgement.
marriage i thought about it, being the teenage girl i am..
and i enjoyed the thought of it...but not for a good 5 or 6 years...
until this school thing passes away for both of us..
finally thought we had hit that stable relationship zone.
i knew this was the end... the tone of your voice told me so.
i feel like such a fucking 13 yearold girl right now freaking out
about this. but i fucking love you.madly fucking in love with you.
.....and you dont see it at all...
never cried this much about any other guy
and i still cant believe you've done this to me.
and i still cant believe i care. and that im STILL crying about you.
and even if we are friends....we'll sit there in silence
until we go do something.... then sit there in more silence.
i know how it works. i can predict what will happen with us.
and i dont want to hurt everytime im around you... or hang out
with you once you get a new girlfriend, which im sure
will take no time at all since all these other girls like you.
and i even quit my medicine for you... because i should be happy
with just having you right?!
well maybe that would be okay if you didnt break up with me once a month.
i dont mean any of this as a stab or sarcastic remarks...
its just things i have to get out... things you need to know.
i cant believe you used some of the things you said as an excuse..
i feel like such an idiot for bitching.....i just need a goddamn friend.
and i dont know where they all went... but they arent doing me a damn
bit of good....
and you feed me stuff that i should be
the judge of.
i think it was an easy way of telling me to fuck off.
in all honesty i think thats the case.
i dont have any growing to do...
im more mature than alot of college kids i know..
i dont need bullshit about maturing...
im 17 and im more mature than i should be at this age
i dont need bullshit about time...
because im not worried about having 4 days
to spend with you everyweek... im looking for 1 day.
to look in your eyes and see your smile. and know that
im alive for a reason. for you.
because that felt like the only real reason to breathe.
im not talking about suicide bullshit kids dont jump on my
case. if i wanted to die i would have done that a while back.
and if this is all just because i got mad about that drinking thing.
i dont understand... because you accused me of cheating...
and i was upset.. but i got over it. and i trust you,
like i said i just thought it was bad judgement.
marriage i thought about it, being the teenage girl i am..
and i enjoyed the thought of it...but not for a good 5 or 6 years...
until this school thing passes away for both of us..
finally thought we had hit that stable relationship zone.
i knew this was the end... the tone of your voice told me so.
i feel like such a fucking 13 yearold girl right now freaking out
about this. but i fucking love you.madly fucking in love with you.
.....and you dont see it at all...
never cried this much about any other guy
and i still cant believe you've done this to me.
and i still cant believe i care. and that im STILL crying about you.
and even if we are friends....we'll sit there in silence
until we go do something.... then sit there in more silence.
i know how it works. i can predict what will happen with us.
and i dont want to hurt everytime im around you... or hang out
with you once you get a new girlfriend, which im sure
will take no time at all since all these other girls like you.
and i even quit my medicine for you... because i should be happy
with just having you right?!
well maybe that would be okay if you didnt break up with me once a month.
i dont mean any of this as a stab or sarcastic remarks...
its just things i have to get out... things you need to know.
i cant believe you used some of the things you said as an excuse..
i feel like such an idiot for bitching.....i just need a goddamn friend.
and i dont know where they all went... but they arent doing me a damn
bit of good....