before I do laundry.
Deven got the tickets for swan lake a couple of days ago. we're going to see it on November 5th. Hooray!
I told him I love him last night. last night was like magic. it was like the conversation from... perfect conversationalists who have brilliantly mastered the art of tender conversation. Ive never been good at actually talking to people, and even my written dialogue stinks. but this... this... I don't think I'll ever be able to capture it again. I almost wish that someone had secretly recorded it and is willing to give me a copy, but then that would be way too weird because then it means someone else heard it and has a copy of it. 0.0 but really... richard and I didn't really talk very often. I mean, well actually we talked all the time, but it was just casual stuff that ordinary people talk about. I managed to open him up sometimes, but he was pretty much a clam. tony's a dreamer. we talked about the future a lot, but not much about the present, the way we were. Deven's different, too. with him, we talk about everything. it's not just this or that or the other thing. with Richard I was the southern belle. with tony I was the 80's girl and the Catholic girl. when I met Deven, I was the kitty-chan, but now I've realized that I don't have to be stuck in the mode he met me as. I can shift through my phases and be who I feel like being. I'm not tied to a certain persona. with Richard, I saw him so rarely that it wasn't hard being the same person around him all the time. with tony it was harder. in the beginning of our relationship I broke up with him because I was feeling suffocated, and at the time I knew it was there but since I didn't really know why, I brushed it aside and went out with him again. but now I know. it's because I had to be the same kind of person all the time for too long. it's not like I was being forced to be someone I wasn't. I think other people have different aspects to their personalities too, or else I'm just weird, so maybe someone knows what I mean.
I left to call Deven (who's asleep) and now that I'm back I can see that I was just rambling, but I'll leave it up in case someone else makes sense of what I was saying.
anyway I need to do laundry.
=^.^=
I told him I love him last night. last night was like magic. it was like the conversation from... perfect conversationalists who have brilliantly mastered the art of tender conversation. Ive never been good at actually talking to people, and even my written dialogue stinks. but this... this... I don't think I'll ever be able to capture it again. I almost wish that someone had secretly recorded it and is willing to give me a copy, but then that would be way too weird because then it means someone else heard it and has a copy of it. 0.0 but really... richard and I didn't really talk very often. I mean, well actually we talked all the time, but it was just casual stuff that ordinary people talk about. I managed to open him up sometimes, but he was pretty much a clam. tony's a dreamer. we talked about the future a lot, but not much about the present, the way we were. Deven's different, too. with him, we talk about everything. it's not just this or that or the other thing. with Richard I was the southern belle. with tony I was the 80's girl and the Catholic girl. when I met Deven, I was the kitty-chan, but now I've realized that I don't have to be stuck in the mode he met me as. I can shift through my phases and be who I feel like being. I'm not tied to a certain persona. with Richard, I saw him so rarely that it wasn't hard being the same person around him all the time. with tony it was harder. in the beginning of our relationship I broke up with him because I was feeling suffocated, and at the time I knew it was there but since I didn't really know why, I brushed it aside and went out with him again. but now I know. it's because I had to be the same kind of person all the time for too long. it's not like I was being forced to be someone I wasn't. I think other people have different aspects to their personalities too, or else I'm just weird, so maybe someone knows what I mean.
I left to call Deven (who's asleep) and now that I'm back I can see that I was just rambling, but I'll leave it up in case someone else makes sense of what I was saying.
anyway I need to do laundry.
=^.^=