get ready.
Dear Meaghan,
When I first heard that you had found Ryan I was really excited. But at the same time I was little nervous because I knew that my position had changed. You told me time after time that nothing would change it would be the same. But after many phone of me talking and telling stories (and before I was even finished) you would cut me off and started talking about you and ryan. I brushed it off and tried not to make a big deal. Despite my jealousy about being replaced, I am happy for you. I really am. But when you're dating someone, your life suddenly doesn't become all about them. You have to remember the people that were in your life before them...
When I went through my depression stage and was having the hardest time of my life, I felt like you weren't there. I was so upset and stressed out that it made it worse. I was emotionally, physically, and mentally tired. And believe it or not, I think that's how I got mono. I felt like whenever I tried to tell you something you just nodded and said what I wanted to hear (which is nice at times) and then the conversation would turn into you and Ryan. It killed me. I literally felt like I had a knife in my stomach and someone was turning it. It wasn't enough that I already felt so alone in the world and then I had to hear about you and him. If you want the honest truth...the truth is that when you started talking about him, I didn't listen. I couldn't for the sake of my own emotions, listen to you talking about being in a relationship and having someone. I was fake and told you what you wanted to hear.
When I came home that day, I came to see you and katie and I was really looking forward to it. I enjoyed myself and thought I would be able to see you longer than a few bites for lunch. You said you had 2 hours for a lunch break and that you had plenty of time. I knew something was up when you got your food to go and katie and I got ours to eat there. You left after 45 minutes to go drop off food for Ryan. I was devastated that you were ditching us to go see him. Meaghan, you go out to lunch every day with him, and you couldn't spare me a little less than 2 hours? I came down to see you. To spend time with you and you leave. Another example is uno's. I'm not going into detail about that because it's the same situation.
You always talked about how you wanted me to meet him because it was so important. But when you leave me in the middle of lunch and the middle of dinner, that doesn't create the best rep for him. And to be honest, I didn't want to meet him. Meeting him meant meeting that guy that I was competing with for attention from you. But when Edye and I hung out with you and him that night, I had a great time. I don't hate Ryan. At all. I think he is an awesome guy. I don't blame him for anything that's happened. (believe it or not). I blame you. You are your own person. A person that at 20 years of age should be able to make their own decisions.
When you told me that you couldn't pick me up the night of the party, I was so pissed. I was driving by the pond and almost crashed into the pond because I threw my phone on the ground and started screaming. I couldn't believe that the whole week before you went up and down the streets saying that you could give me and edye a ride if you needed to. Then when I ask for one, you tell me I'm "out of the way". That is what hurt me the most. How dare you tell me that I am out of the way to come get when I was a town away from the party. Picking up you and then going to katies and then edye's is out of the fucking way. And yes, it's been done.
So that pissed me off. And your apology pissed me off even more. You can me the most lame excuse about your car and your phone and you worst part is, is that you were apologizing for those things and not about what you said. And that day I text you a novel, I did it because I was too afraid to call you and say all that I am saying now. You said if you wanted to talk to call you. I called you and it's been I believe about 2 weeks and I still haven't heard from you. And that was the final straw.
I also knew that when you two would break up, you'd go running back to edye or katie in a heartbeat. It looks like you've picked katie as the next victim to walk all over, and of course she'd welcome you back into her arms. Silly how naive people are.
I think this was coming for a while now. I had this deep feeling inside that you and I weren't going to be able to last through this. I don't really feel like I've lost you right now because you haven't exactly been around lately. Everyone said it was just the honeymoon phase but that wasn't cutting it anymore.
I was hurt, I was upset, I was replaced. But if I'm going to learn anything from this horrible summer, it's going to be that I'm doing things for myself. I'm not going to wait around for anyone anymore.
I remember when the situation with Mike happened, and you knew how upset I was. I also remember when I told you about Sydney and how I was pushed to the side when she started seeing Matt. You told me I should tell her to fuck off and that I don't need a friend like that. Well, you're right. I don't. As far as I'm concerned, this friendship is over.
For the rest of you, it's over.
When I first heard that you had found Ryan I was really excited. But at the same time I was little nervous because I knew that my position had changed. You told me time after time that nothing would change it would be the same. But after many phone of me talking and telling stories (and before I was even finished) you would cut me off and started talking about you and ryan. I brushed it off and tried not to make a big deal. Despite my jealousy about being replaced, I am happy for you. I really am. But when you're dating someone, your life suddenly doesn't become all about them. You have to remember the people that were in your life before them...
When I went through my depression stage and was having the hardest time of my life, I felt like you weren't there. I was so upset and stressed out that it made it worse. I was emotionally, physically, and mentally tired. And believe it or not, I think that's how I got mono. I felt like whenever I tried to tell you something you just nodded and said what I wanted to hear (which is nice at times) and then the conversation would turn into you and Ryan. It killed me. I literally felt like I had a knife in my stomach and someone was turning it. It wasn't enough that I already felt so alone in the world and then I had to hear about you and him. If you want the honest truth...the truth is that when you started talking about him, I didn't listen. I couldn't for the sake of my own emotions, listen to you talking about being in a relationship and having someone. I was fake and told you what you wanted to hear.
When I came home that day, I came to see you and katie and I was really looking forward to it. I enjoyed myself and thought I would be able to see you longer than a few bites for lunch. You said you had 2 hours for a lunch break and that you had plenty of time. I knew something was up when you got your food to go and katie and I got ours to eat there. You left after 45 minutes to go drop off food for Ryan. I was devastated that you were ditching us to go see him. Meaghan, you go out to lunch every day with him, and you couldn't spare me a little less than 2 hours? I came down to see you. To spend time with you and you leave. Another example is uno's. I'm not going into detail about that because it's the same situation.
You always talked about how you wanted me to meet him because it was so important. But when you leave me in the middle of lunch and the middle of dinner, that doesn't create the best rep for him. And to be honest, I didn't want to meet him. Meeting him meant meeting that guy that I was competing with for attention from you. But when Edye and I hung out with you and him that night, I had a great time. I don't hate Ryan. At all. I think he is an awesome guy. I don't blame him for anything that's happened. (believe it or not). I blame you. You are your own person. A person that at 20 years of age should be able to make their own decisions.
When you told me that you couldn't pick me up the night of the party, I was so pissed. I was driving by the pond and almost crashed into the pond because I threw my phone on the ground and started screaming. I couldn't believe that the whole week before you went up and down the streets saying that you could give me and edye a ride if you needed to. Then when I ask for one, you tell me I'm "out of the way". That is what hurt me the most. How dare you tell me that I am out of the way to come get when I was a town away from the party. Picking up you and then going to katies and then edye's is out of the fucking way. And yes, it's been done.
So that pissed me off. And your apology pissed me off even more. You can me the most lame excuse about your car and your phone and you worst part is, is that you were apologizing for those things and not about what you said. And that day I text you a novel, I did it because I was too afraid to call you and say all that I am saying now. You said if you wanted to talk to call you. I called you and it's been I believe about 2 weeks and I still haven't heard from you. And that was the final straw.
I also knew that when you two would break up, you'd go running back to edye or katie in a heartbeat. It looks like you've picked katie as the next victim to walk all over, and of course she'd welcome you back into her arms. Silly how naive people are.
I think this was coming for a while now. I had this deep feeling inside that you and I weren't going to be able to last through this. I don't really feel like I've lost you right now because you haven't exactly been around lately. Everyone said it was just the honeymoon phase but that wasn't cutting it anymore.
I was hurt, I was upset, I was replaced. But if I'm going to learn anything from this horrible summer, it's going to be that I'm doing things for myself. I'm not going to wait around for anyone anymore.
I remember when the situation with Mike happened, and you knew how upset I was. I also remember when I told you about Sydney and how I was pushed to the side when she started seeing Matt. You told me I should tell her to fuck off and that I don't need a friend like that. Well, you're right. I don't. As far as I'm concerned, this friendship is over.
For the rest of you, it's over.