I wonder what its like to not feel like this
i want to go on prozac. maybe not during the year, maybe in the summer. although im happy enough then anyway. maybe i doo need it during the school year. to boost my will, and self confidence. i wonder if itll be like weed. happier. obviously not floating. 'mind-altering'. everythings just, dark, in my head. it all. clouded.and.. it feels like a big black cloud hanging over me, inside my head. i wonder how i would go about doing that. i bet you anything it would improve my school marks. i heard it makes u think suicidal and homicidal thoughts. i dont need to worry about that, i think it already, but would these make me actually do it? probably not. or maybe. i just. wonder what it would feel like, to not have the urge to lie down and cry.to not hand myhead over my arms while im sitting at the dinner table. i need help. i wantt help. i can't go on like this. i can't live my life like this forever! i can't end it though! why did you make it so hard on me! i cant believe it. i shouldnt be complaining. but i just can't not feel like this.fucking society. it should be telling us to be happy for what we have in life, not shoot aimlessly in the dark for goals we will probably never attain. something will always be wrong anyway, family, etc, whatever. this fucking sucks. Thinking about life too much makes me feel like my heads going to explode you know? theres no point in typing it out or saying it on here or w.e. you've all heard it before. it doesnt matter in your life anyway. i wish we knew all the answers. we will never know. its all probably just a sick game. all in some fucked up wierdos head?