bright lights... horrid brats
dear internet,
i had a totally bizarro experience today - holy shit. my job sent me to tutor child actors on a hollywood movie set. what??
i was given instructions to arrive at a hotel in the old port at six bloody a.m. (got maybe three hours of sleep), where i was picked up by a van filled with the other tutors. then i went to this set in the woods near kirkland, where i worked with two extremely bratty children and one of their mothers in a small trailer all day long.
the movie is actually a big child blockbuster, à la "harry potter" or "a series of unfortunate events." it's called the spiderwick chronicles, and stars charlie from the proverbial chocolate factory / peter (pan... kind of) from "finding neverland." my kids, however, were mere stand-ins (the star plays the parts of two twin brothers, hence the lookalikes) and were utter little shits. you'd think 12/13 year old boys would be overjoyed by only having to do 2-3 hours of school a day. but no! it was like pulling goddamn teeth (who needs school when you have southpark episodes on your ipod and a psp?). i actually wished i had my psycho boss with me so that she could call them spoiled little morons and make them do pushups.
and holy fuck, the excess of it all!!! there was unlimited catered food for everyone at all times; drivers to shuttle people around everywhere; 100 people at any given point in time, standing about looking important/waiting to be needed; people employed to pick up leaves, carefully clean each and every one of them and place them back on the ground; and there was a goddamn MANSION in the woods that cost a million dollars to build and they're going to tear down next week! and not only that - its exact double has been built in studio!!
the worst part about the whole thing was this awful mother with whom i had to spend the entire day. she made her son write notes on the fucking cliffnotes version of to kill a mockingbird, instead of the text itself. and then she insisted on giving him an insipid lesson about "prejudism" (i didn't have the heart to tell her she's a halfwit) and went on to me about her modelling career, her various failed marriages, and about how the mexicans in san antonio (where she lives) are turning whites into a minority, how they shouldn't sell their pigs' intestines/assholes in american grocery stores, and how if they can't speak english they should go back to mexico. ahh!!!!@!!!!!!!!
i wanted to punch her in the nosejob.
anyway, there were some positive things about it all. it was all rather interesting and eye-opening, i met one of the actresses from "in america," who was a lovely lovely girl, i got free food, and i was paid a buttload of cash. definitely way too creepy to do on a regular basis, however.
i had a totally bizarro experience today - holy shit. my job sent me to tutor child actors on a hollywood movie set. what??
i was given instructions to arrive at a hotel in the old port at six bloody a.m. (got maybe three hours of sleep), where i was picked up by a van filled with the other tutors. then i went to this set in the woods near kirkland, where i worked with two extremely bratty children and one of their mothers in a small trailer all day long.
the movie is actually a big child blockbuster, à la "harry potter" or "a series of unfortunate events." it's called the spiderwick chronicles, and stars charlie from the proverbial chocolate factory / peter (pan... kind of) from "finding neverland." my kids, however, were mere stand-ins (the star plays the parts of two twin brothers, hence the lookalikes) and were utter little shits. you'd think 12/13 year old boys would be overjoyed by only having to do 2-3 hours of school a day. but no! it was like pulling goddamn teeth (who needs school when you have southpark episodes on your ipod and a psp?). i actually wished i had my psycho boss with me so that she could call them spoiled little morons and make them do pushups.
and holy fuck, the excess of it all!!! there was unlimited catered food for everyone at all times; drivers to shuttle people around everywhere; 100 people at any given point in time, standing about looking important/waiting to be needed; people employed to pick up leaves, carefully clean each and every one of them and place them back on the ground; and there was a goddamn MANSION in the woods that cost a million dollars to build and they're going to tear down next week! and not only that - its exact double has been built in studio!!
the worst part about the whole thing was this awful mother with whom i had to spend the entire day. she made her son write notes on the fucking cliffnotes version of to kill a mockingbird, instead of the text itself. and then she insisted on giving him an insipid lesson about "prejudism" (i didn't have the heart to tell her she's a halfwit) and went on to me about her modelling career, her various failed marriages, and about how the mexicans in san antonio (where she lives) are turning whites into a minority, how they shouldn't sell their pigs' intestines/assholes in american grocery stores, and how if they can't speak english they should go back to mexico. ahh!!!!@!!!!!!!!
i wanted to punch her in the nosejob.
anyway, there were some positive things about it all. it was all rather interesting and eye-opening, i met one of the actresses from "in america," who was a lovely lovely girl, i got free food, and i was paid a buttload of cash. definitely way too creepy to do on a regular basis, however.