*Realizations Can Be Tough*
Yesterday was amazing. I know most of you would think that I am referring to the SPECTACULAR Senior Show (lol), but that isn't it at all. It was what happened afterwards that really got me. Lauren had pretty much every one over at her house (any one that was involved that wanted to come!) and we watched it for the first time as one big group. All I can say about that was...there were lots of tears. It was Lauren, Amelia, Jenna, Carly, Malissa, Brett, Gabby, Josh, Jill, Chelsea, Kyle, Joe, Kristen, KK, Hayley, Eric, Jenny, Jarrett, Brooke, Anthony, Adam...and I'm sure I'm forgetting people, but you get the idea. Now, keep in mind I haven't been to Lauren's in EONS, but it felt surprisingly normal-like I'm over there all the time. I have come to realize how much I miss or will miss or HAVE MISSED some of the people that I haven't really had a heart-to-heart with since sophomore/junior year. Carly, Amelia, Lauren, Adam, Brett and Gabby- I HAVE to keep in touch with them. The thought of not seeing them after high school breaks my heart. Amelia started crying during Iris at Lauren's...which made ME start crying. So here we are, crying together, looking like big losers, and then we bursted out laughing. I miss her. When some one practically lives at your house for 2 years and then is totally out of your life, it is very difficult to adjust...and that's thing- I haven't because it's too hard to accept. That was what my last entry was about. I know it won't ever be the same because of the missed time, but I had an epiphany where I realized that we can still be friends. We need and should be friends. Same with Lauren...sure, she can be kind of loud and weird and crazy and perhaps annoying (if you will lol) at times, but remembering concert choir and all of the fun experiences we've had makes me want to hang out with her more now. It's strange that it took me so long to notice this...I am kind of pissed off at myself...what the hell is my problem?! Thank God Brett is going to Central with me (even the SAME MAJOR- broadcasting journalism!), so I will most DEFINITELY be seeing him again (which means I will see Gabby again too...PHEW! And Carly is just awesome, so we are gonna have ourselves a little get together one day. And last but not least...Adam. Sure, I have a love-hate relationship with him (lol Allison...you know what I mean), but I miss his friendship. I love talking to the kid, and I feel like we don't do that anymore. And I know that part of me will always have luke-warm-I-kinda-like-you-for-real feelings for him, but I think it's like that for any one's first LOKE (I refuse to say I "loved" him because I was more obsessed-plus, love MUST be reciprocated! So I combined LOve and liKE and Voila!) hehe :) I am going to have to tell him that we can't stop seeing each other after high school eventually, so I think that I will write him something (don't worry- I won't embaress myself...just some stupid memories with him as a friend). Whew. I feel much better. I am going to try and make more of an effort now, in and out of school, to talk to the people I know I will miss. Then hopefully, I won't have to worry about never seeing them again. Amelia and I are supposed to hang out next weekend, so that's pretty awesome. :-D I am stoked. And to all my friends from work, plus Sasha, Morgen,Kate, Colleen, Meg, Amanda, Allison(whoops, you're at work but you know what I mean!)...I don't worry about never seeing you again because it just doesn't seem natural, and I won't let that happen.
I hate crying about graduation..it makes me feel so stupid. But I love Julia's song so I must put it in:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's been a great play but the curtain is ready to close
and nothing can stop today from rushing us into a life of tomorrows
No matter what we say we can't really show
the parades in our minds as we prepare to go
No matter what we do, we can't really feel
Monochromatic, unchanging, unreal
Chorus:
Cuz we've waited four years to shed good-bye tears
To fling wide our arms and embrace all our fears
Standing at the threshold of all we hold dear
and now our minds don't seem so clear
and it hits us...we're almost there
So all the stupid things we've all said and done
just thrust upward to make way for those yet to come
And all the cliched things we vowed we'd never do
come back to our tongues and a new regret ensues
and all the cliched voices of yesterday's class
ring in our own ears as present becomes past
How will we make blueprints of adulthood
without erasing the lines we've already made?
How can we forget four years
300 people growing here?
Mott '05-we're outta here
Almost there
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Omg..I am practically crying right now just typing that thing...good going, Julia. lol Just kidding...it's amazing.
I seriously need to stop now. I am killing myself over this. So much for not caring who I see after graduation...you won't know what I mean until you get there...senior year...dude. lol
Kay. All done! :)
I hate crying about graduation..it makes me feel so stupid. But I love Julia's song so I must put it in:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's been a great play but the curtain is ready to close
and nothing can stop today from rushing us into a life of tomorrows
No matter what we say we can't really show
the parades in our minds as we prepare to go
No matter what we do, we can't really feel
Monochromatic, unchanging, unreal
Chorus:
Cuz we've waited four years to shed good-bye tears
To fling wide our arms and embrace all our fears
Standing at the threshold of all we hold dear
and now our minds don't seem so clear
and it hits us...we're almost there
So all the stupid things we've all said and done
just thrust upward to make way for those yet to come
And all the cliched things we vowed we'd never do
come back to our tongues and a new regret ensues
and all the cliched voices of yesterday's class
ring in our own ears as present becomes past
How will we make blueprints of adulthood
without erasing the lines we've already made?
How can we forget four years
300 people growing here?
Mott '05-we're outta here
Almost there
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Omg..I am practically crying right now just typing that thing...good going, Julia. lol Just kidding...it's amazing.
I seriously need to stop now. I am killing myself over this. So much for not caring who I see after graduation...you won't know what I mean until you get there...senior year...dude. lol
Kay. All done! :)