SICKLY
Nothing helps a ravaged voice like four hours of Scrubs and about as many gallons of tea...the frequent bathroom visits only add to the joy.
I haven't really decided whether or not to write a serious entry. This week has been a little surreal. I haven't been remembering my dreams so it makes me think that some of them have been actual events. Stranger things have happened. Actually, stranger things are happening every day.
I hate how living here teaches you how to talk about absolutely nothing at all. In some ways I wish my voice would just stay gone, just because I am so tired of all the crap it spews out so frequently. But it makes me wonder. How many people here value my company because of my true character? How many people are content to just sit in silence with me without feeling obligated to defile it with nothing-talk? Who would I lose if I gained right speech? I don't really know if I believe that some people just hang around in case I say something stupid or funny or just plain fill conversation gaps...because I think people here are better than that. But sometimes there is just so much noise and so little communication and I think that's why I feel so. fucking. lonely. for so much of the time.
Ok, so we're going with the serious entry. I'm probably a little overdue anyway. It's just so....frustrating. Being around people I'm sure are incredible but feeling like I don't know them at all. And they don't know me at all. And everyone's just pretending.
Let's not be afraid of things that can't really hurt us.
I haven't really decided whether or not to write a serious entry. This week has been a little surreal. I haven't been remembering my dreams so it makes me think that some of them have been actual events. Stranger things have happened. Actually, stranger things are happening every day.
I hate how living here teaches you how to talk about absolutely nothing at all. In some ways I wish my voice would just stay gone, just because I am so tired of all the crap it spews out so frequently. But it makes me wonder. How many people here value my company because of my true character? How many people are content to just sit in silence with me without feeling obligated to defile it with nothing-talk? Who would I lose if I gained right speech? I don't really know if I believe that some people just hang around in case I say something stupid or funny or just plain fill conversation gaps...because I think people here are better than that. But sometimes there is just so much noise and so little communication and I think that's why I feel so. fucking. lonely. for so much of the time.
Ok, so we're going with the serious entry. I'm probably a little overdue anyway. It's just so....frustrating. Being around people I'm sure are incredible but feeling like I don't know them at all. And they don't know me at all. And everyone's just pretending.
Let's not be afraid of things that can't really hurt us.