The calm space between torrents of stress...
There is this feeling of steady anticipation like watching honey drip off a spoon; just waiting as things play out and looking at the future stacked up endlessly high...I am in the middle of this feeling and I think it's a good one.
In last night's confusion with setting up the coffeehouse and rehearsing my own stuff, I skipped dinner and woke up at 4 am feeling like my throat was shriveling up and my stomach was caving in on itself. So I got up, drank some green tea and ate a clementine, then went back to bed and had the most pleasant dream ever...I forgot it upon waking but the good mood didn't wear off. Moral of the story: green tea and clementines spawn good subconscious vibes.
It's true that there's no end in sight from Junior winter but endings are not something I need to focus on right now, just launching beginnings and trusting that the ends will tie themselves up. Whose advice was it that we should concern ourselves with what's important and everything else would take care of itself?...I dunno, but I think it's come back from the vault to get me through this next year. Maybe something in this will help someone who needs to hear it. Who knows.
We have the power to be as happy as we want to be. We have the solutions to our own problems. Please remind me of this the next time I'm freaking out about something stupid, inconsequential, and utterly avoidable.
<3