another update this morning

[_coffeejunkie_]

so when listening to my itunes while getting dressed for school, a song came on that i used to love in like 9th grade. listening to it and the lyrics now, i realize that, although this is ridiculously cheesy, etc., really describes how i feel about my high school career perfectly:

What do you do when you know something's bad for you and you still can't let go?

I was naïve, your love was like candy
Artificially sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping,
Got caught in your web and I learned how to bleed
I was prey in your bed and devoured completely

And it hurts my soul
'Cause I can't let go
All these walls are cavin' in
I can't stop my sufferin'
I hate to show
That I've lost control
'Cause I, I keep goin' right back
To the one thing that I need
To walk away from

I need to get away from ya,
Need to walk away from ya
Get away, walk away, walk away

I should have known that I was used for amusement
Couldn't see through the smoke, it was all an illusion
Now, I've been lickin' my wounds, but the venom seeps deeper
We both can seduce but, darlin', you hold me prisoner

Oh, I'm about to break
I can't stop this ache
I'm addicted to your allure
And I'm fiendin' for a cure
Every step I take
Leads to one mistake
I keep goin' right back
To the one thing that I need
I'm about to break
And I can't stop this ache
Getting nothing in return
What did I do to deserve
The pain of this slow burn?
And everywhere I turn,
I keep goin' right back
To the one thing that I need
To walk away from

I need to get away from ya,
Need to walk away from ya,

Every time I try to grasp for air,
I am smothered in despair
It's never over, over
Seems I'll never wake from this nightmare
I let out a silent pray
Let it be over, over

Oh!
Inside I'm screaming, begging, pleading, no more

Now, what to do?
My heart has been bruised
So sad but it's true
Each treat reminds me of you

Oh, it hurts my soul
'Cause I can't let go
All these walls are cavin' in
I can't stop my sufferin'
I hate to show
That I've lost control
'Cause I keep goin' right back
To the one thing I need, oh
I'm about to break
And I can't stop this ache
I'm addicted to your allure
And I'm fiendin' for a cure
Every step I take
Leads to one mistake
I keep goin' right back
To the one thing I need, oh

I can't mend this torn state I'm in
Getting nothing in return
What did I do to deserve
The pain of this slow burn?
And everywhere I turn,
I keep goin' right back
To the one thing that I need
To walk away from

I need to get away from ya,
Need to walk away from ya
I need to get away from ya,
Need to walk away from ya