here comes the story of the hurricane..
somehow no matter how shitty of a mood I'm in, if I play a little Bob Dylan.. I feel a little better.
I'm still in a really shitty mood though. Fuck UMASS. Lauren and I got so FUCKED for housing next year. When we got to sign up for housing, we had to pick our top ten places to live.. we got like our seventh pick. I dont want to live there. I want to live where everyone else is living. its going to be a rude awakening next year when I'm not in a building with everyone else I know and have gotten so closed to.
This transition into college was so easy for me, I almost feel cheated. it felt like this first year wasnt real at all. like, "okay, we arent REALLY going to through you out into a world you know nothing about. here, live with a bunch of your friends from high school, adjust slowly, but always be able to fall back on the people you came with. take some classes, but dont take anything TOO challenging.. ease into it" I feel more anxiety about next year now than I ever did about my first year. Next year is going to be my first REAL year of college. new building (even though i'm still with lauren and two other of my close friends happened to get put into my building too) and muuuch harder and more intense classes. I guess it only gets harder from here, and change is inevitable. I'm just dissapointed. dissapointed I'm still at UMASS.. dissapointed that I still am going back and forth between majors. just GET ME OUT OF HERE. I feel like screaming that over and over again. I'm so done with this whole school thing, get me a life, get me a job, get me away from western massachusetts and its surrounding towns. but then again, what the fuck would I do if I wasnt here? probably cry.
my favorite bracelet, that I wear every day and neverrr take off, broke tonight. that started my bad mood.
everyone is finishing up school.. good for you. I'll be here till the 16th.. and then back for the 23rd for a final. so come visit k?
I dont even know if I am still going home this weekend because I am fighting with my parents right now and havent talked to them and refuse to be the first to call hahah. so we'll see how that goes. I really want to go home though.
I'm in one of those it's time to re-evaluate my life moods. yikes.
I need to go try to fall asleep as I listen to some Michael Buble on my ipod.
ps. I am really not as depressed or psychotic as I might seem right now.. I think a lot of it has to do with PMS. and shit and shiiit
I'm still in a really shitty mood though. Fuck UMASS. Lauren and I got so FUCKED for housing next year. When we got to sign up for housing, we had to pick our top ten places to live.. we got like our seventh pick. I dont want to live there. I want to live where everyone else is living. its going to be a rude awakening next year when I'm not in a building with everyone else I know and have gotten so closed to.
This transition into college was so easy for me, I almost feel cheated. it felt like this first year wasnt real at all. like, "okay, we arent REALLY going to through you out into a world you know nothing about. here, live with a bunch of your friends from high school, adjust slowly, but always be able to fall back on the people you came with. take some classes, but dont take anything TOO challenging.. ease into it" I feel more anxiety about next year now than I ever did about my first year. Next year is going to be my first REAL year of college. new building (even though i'm still with lauren and two other of my close friends happened to get put into my building too) and muuuch harder and more intense classes. I guess it only gets harder from here, and change is inevitable. I'm just dissapointed. dissapointed I'm still at UMASS.. dissapointed that I still am going back and forth between majors. just GET ME OUT OF HERE. I feel like screaming that over and over again. I'm so done with this whole school thing, get me a life, get me a job, get me away from western massachusetts and its surrounding towns. but then again, what the fuck would I do if I wasnt here? probably cry.
my favorite bracelet, that I wear every day and neverrr take off, broke tonight. that started my bad mood.
everyone is finishing up school.. good for you. I'll be here till the 16th.. and then back for the 23rd for a final. so come visit k?
I dont even know if I am still going home this weekend because I am fighting with my parents right now and havent talked to them and refuse to be the first to call hahah. so we'll see how that goes. I really want to go home though.
I'm in one of those it's time to re-evaluate my life moods. yikes.
I need to go try to fall asleep as I listen to some Michael Buble on my ipod.
ps. I am really not as depressed or psychotic as I might seem right now.. I think a lot of it has to do with PMS. and shit and shiiit