The good times are killing me

[_cha_cha]

hi. So I was just looking through my yearbook from last year. I read everything that everyone wrote. Once again, I cried when I wrote what Tim wrote. oh and Meg's too. But I also started to tear up with a lot of other people's words also, and it just really made me think. It's been about a year since high school has ended, and so much has changed, yet nothing has changed either. It's strange. I feel like a walking contradiction. It's like I remember this time last year so clearly, yet its really blurry. I know that doesn't make sense at all. I kind of miss it. I miss the excitement of starting a new life, the sadness of leaving the past behind.. looking forward to what was supposed to be the best summer ever.. getting closer to certain people and parting with others. So much happened that last year of high school and I'm sad that I feel I wasted time with stupid drama, or not really appreciating what I had. I'll never get that time back.. things are just going to keep changing from here. I think this past year we all did a pretty good job staying in touch with the people that really matter. but it's not the same. And, I guess thats okay. It really is. but you cant help to be nastolgic, which is okay too. in other ways, my life is completely the same. I'm still involved in some of the same situations that I'm still trying to work my way out of. Still trying to find out who I am and what I want to do with the rest of my life. Questioning myself and if I will ever succeed in anything. Dreaming of big things that I wont let myself think are unreasonable. I'm already ready for college to be over. to move on with my life. to work at a job hopefully I enjoy, and to just live.

I cant believe this year is almost over. Another summer home in springfield soon. First year of college- done. everything I was excited and nervous about is behind me. I've met some new great people, I'll definitely miss them over the summer, but I'm ready for it to be over.

peace easy.