Boys Like You Are A Dime A Dozen
Well I havent updated this forever.
Alot has happend. But pretty much, I broke up with Brendan the other day. It needed to be done. He was hurting me and I was hurting him. I cheated on him with 2 different guys. I do regret it....now nothing good has come out of it. I have lost the best boyfriend I have ever had...not that I want him back. I've lost a friend..I have to turn one guys down cus I dont really want him, and the other guy just doesnt want a girlfriend. It all pretty much sucks.
But I do love it up here it is so much fun, one day when I get the time I'll download some pictures from up here. I was glad I got to see some of you at homecoming, even though some of us have grown apart I still love you and always miss you. But all in all it is better for me up here. It's amazing being new every one like worships you. It's great.
And people acctually have parties up here. I went to one the other night it kicked ass. Got really really drunk...which kinda sucked. But I had Josh there and he was holding me to help me feel better and walking me when I had to go puke. Then he made me go to bed which kinda sucked cus I knew after that night nothing else would really happen with us for a while. I know he likes me....I dont know what it is. I think he just feels really bad just he's really good friends with the othere guy that I was with and he doesnt want to do that to him. And neither do I.
Wow I am a fucking horrible person. I shouldnt be allowed to even to talk to guys. I'll just be a bitch to them and treat them like absolute shit. And none of the guys here deserve that. They've all been so good to me.
I have to say my best friend up here is deffinatly Dan. He is like the best guy ever. I never thought I could be so close to a guy that I wasnt involved with. We just like sit and talk all the time and have soooo much fun together. Not to mention the fact he is so fucking hot. ;-)
I wish I could still be friends with Brendan...I donno maybe we will be eventually, once all the fighting has stopped and we've both accepted what's happend.
But he's been pretty damn mean to me. He kept saying that I'm a terrible friend, and that he's a better friend to Ashley then I am. That's such bull. Everyone knows that I would die for that girl and I love her more than anything in this world. GRRRRR he's still making me so mad.
I might start using this journal again cus he doesnt know I have it so I cant write about everything and not have to worry about him seeing it.
Love <3