(no subject)
I don't give a fuck that I don't have alot of friends. Most people are so fake. I can cherish the friendships I have cause they are REAL. Real friends know how to handle you. And they don't leave you for something more "fun". They are there for you and listen to you and WANT to help you. I don't understand when life got so different. I don't want to nostalgic but it's really hard. Everyone has changed so much. And it bothers me so much when it's the people who I actually care about.
Mostly meaning the boy i fell in love with. Used to be so secure and treat me with respect and love. And I dont know when it changed, but it did. Something different happened. I still am in love with him, but I can never tell if he's in love with me and that's not fair.
I know God's here to help me though. I know He's up there to listen to me cry at night and I know I can't always get the things I asked answered because there's a point where I have to figure it out on my own but I am so thankful that Nick is in my life. I ask God for that a lot, and I love that I get that prayer answered.
I wish things could be different. I wish people didn't have to be so inconsistant, or so absorbed with being "cool".
Being "cool" isn't even cool. Everyone tries to be so unique that they think they are Cool for being "different" but for the most part, it doesn't work out because it's not really them.
I don't understand why people try so fucking hard to be something they're not.
I am so thankful that I am who I am. I think Im a damn good person, and I have a damn good head on my shoulders. Things get rough but for the most part, I know how to stay true to ME. I hurt inside. And it hurts to be treated with disrespect. I think my biggest flaw and my least favorite part about myself is that I don't have enough respect for myself. I don't have the courage to do what I KNOW i need to do sometimes, But it's only because I'm so scared of losing something that I cherish so much.
I don't know why my life ends up revolving around Love but it does. I really think that's got to be the most important thing in my life to me, and I don't know why. I really can't figure it out. I try so hard for this and I know everyone seeks it, but I don't know when I got so attached to it.
I honestly feel like I couldn't live without Love. It's important. Love makes the world go round. It makes everything right, but how can something so perfect have so much destruction? It truly does. I hope I never get divorced. When I get married, I want it to be perfect. I'm sure everyone does, but I really don't think I could deal iwth going through the pain of losing someone I thought was "THE one" or putting whatever I brought into this world through it too. It would be treterious.
Anywho, I just hope I can get through my life without having too much pain.
I'm glad I am the person I am. I feel Real. And although alot of people struggle with their self identity, I think I have a pretty good sense of who I am, And what I want to be like. Maybe I don't have dreams like some people do, but I do have a dream of being the best person I can be. I know that sounds corny as fuck but that's really how I feel.
Mostly meaning the boy i fell in love with. Used to be so secure and treat me with respect and love. And I dont know when it changed, but it did. Something different happened. I still am in love with him, but I can never tell if he's in love with me and that's not fair.
I know God's here to help me though. I know He's up there to listen to me cry at night and I know I can't always get the things I asked answered because there's a point where I have to figure it out on my own but I am so thankful that Nick is in my life. I ask God for that a lot, and I love that I get that prayer answered.
I wish things could be different. I wish people didn't have to be so inconsistant, or so absorbed with being "cool".
Being "cool" isn't even cool. Everyone tries to be so unique that they think they are Cool for being "different" but for the most part, it doesn't work out because it's not really them.
I don't understand why people try so fucking hard to be something they're not.
I am so thankful that I am who I am. I think Im a damn good person, and I have a damn good head on my shoulders. Things get rough but for the most part, I know how to stay true to ME. I hurt inside. And it hurts to be treated with disrespect. I think my biggest flaw and my least favorite part about myself is that I don't have enough respect for myself. I don't have the courage to do what I KNOW i need to do sometimes, But it's only because I'm so scared of losing something that I cherish so much.
I don't know why my life ends up revolving around Love but it does. I really think that's got to be the most important thing in my life to me, and I don't know why. I really can't figure it out. I try so hard for this and I know everyone seeks it, but I don't know when I got so attached to it.
I honestly feel like I couldn't live without Love. It's important. Love makes the world go round. It makes everything right, but how can something so perfect have so much destruction? It truly does. I hope I never get divorced. When I get married, I want it to be perfect. I'm sure everyone does, but I really don't think I could deal iwth going through the pain of losing someone I thought was "THE one" or putting whatever I brought into this world through it too. It would be treterious.
Anywho, I just hope I can get through my life without having too much pain.
I'm glad I am the person I am. I feel Real. And although alot of people struggle with their self identity, I think I have a pretty good sense of who I am, And what I want to be like. Maybe I don't have dreams like some people do, but I do have a dream of being the best person I can be. I know that sounds corny as fuck but that's really how I feel.