(no subject)
Things are better. Not resolved, but better. Nick and I have been talking to each other alot lately. He's been really nice. I really wish all this never happened but I guess that's what a relationship entails.. So I'm dealing with all this the best I can. I feel like it's changed alot but I also feel like it's helping me too cause I don't worry so much about everything now. Like I do but I am not blowing it up like I used to. I text him if he texts me and if he ditches me I don't really say anything about it because I don't really have a right to anymore. I think we are together but we aren't dating yet. He doesn't want to date me again yet. Which I understand but I really think the reason is fucked up. But I hope he gets over it. =( I can't imagine my life without him. I know everyone probably thinks I'm crazy and stupid but I don't know what it is I guess. I just really think Nick and my relationship is different like on another level. Like I really can see myself with him ten years from now. I love him more than anything in the world. I would do anything for him.
Anyways, summer is really good. I've been having alot of fun for once. The past two summers were good and relaxing but I kinda dissapeared. I've seen alot of people and I'm glad I've been staying friends with people from school. The only person I'm not really close with right now is Trevor and it's really weird because he's been one of my best friends since 9th grade.. I don't know. I don't want to blame it on me and Nick's problems but I think that's why. I hope we have class together next year!!
I'm super excited to be a senior. Like we have a month and a half of summer left (thank God) but when we're back I think it will fly by so fast. Exciting. Then off to college.
Then starting our life... that's what scares me because I have no idea what I want to be. I have NO clue. No insight. I have a plan for my life but I can't even pick a job and my plan of my life is based on my life right now which is stupid because nothing is set in stone but I don't know. I just have a lot of faith. We'll see what happens.
Anyways, summer is really good. I've been having alot of fun for once. The past two summers were good and relaxing but I kinda dissapeared. I've seen alot of people and I'm glad I've been staying friends with people from school. The only person I'm not really close with right now is Trevor and it's really weird because he's been one of my best friends since 9th grade.. I don't know. I don't want to blame it on me and Nick's problems but I think that's why. I hope we have class together next year!!
I'm super excited to be a senior. Like we have a month and a half of summer left (thank God) but when we're back I think it will fly by so fast. Exciting. Then off to college.
Then starting our life... that's what scares me because I have no idea what I want to be. I have NO clue. No insight. I have a plan for my life but I can't even pick a job and my plan of my life is based on my life right now which is stupid because nothing is set in stone but I don't know. I just have a lot of faith. We'll see what happens.