(no subject)
I had a good time in Diagon Alley, it was fairly nice, I saw everyone, got a bit of entertainment what with the fight and the drunkenness and all.
It was sort of hard, though, seeing everyone all together. I neevr really got over us not being the same after the attack, and it was so much worse after the long break. It was almost as though I didn't know anyone any more, and what's worse I don't think I know myself any more. It feels almost like they didn't just kill the tangibly dead, but they killed a little bit of me and a little bit of everyone else as well.
Some days I just don't care what happens, whether or not I get up and get dressed, or what sort of a state my hair and room are in, or anything. Everyone seems to have this idea that I'm Susan so I'll be all right, because apparently Susan is strong, and Susan can take it, and no one needs to worry about Susan.
I know what it's like. I've seen what happens to families like mine, who are destroyed by war. I've seen my own mother practically lose her mind, I've seen her forget that I'm even there, especially when we visit their graves. It's like I don't exist, like all that matters to her are the bones beneath the soil.
I've always played second fiddle to her dead, and I don't think anyone else should have to. No one else should have to go through what she and Aunt Amelia did afterwards, and no other child should have to be forgotten because his or her mother is incapable of remembering them. No one.
It's just so unfair that this has to happen. Why can't the Dark Lord get off his power-crazed horse, and forget about his need for world domination, his need to kill and wound and maim people, and tear families apart. He should wake up and see the lake of blood and sweat and tears that lies at his feet, a lake that is his fault entirely, and he should drown himself in it.
Sometimes I really hate this, this waking up every morning and not knowing whether or not people will die, this clinging to increasingly worn shreds of hope.
Sometimes I realise it's all we've got.
~Susan
It was sort of hard, though, seeing everyone all together. I neevr really got over us not being the same after the attack, and it was so much worse after the long break. It was almost as though I didn't know anyone any more, and what's worse I don't think I know myself any more. It feels almost like they didn't just kill the tangibly dead, but they killed a little bit of me and a little bit of everyone else as well.
Some days I just don't care what happens, whether or not I get up and get dressed, or what sort of a state my hair and room are in, or anything. Everyone seems to have this idea that I'm Susan so I'll be all right, because apparently Susan is strong, and Susan can take it, and no one needs to worry about Susan.
I know what it's like. I've seen what happens to families like mine, who are destroyed by war. I've seen my own mother practically lose her mind, I've seen her forget that I'm even there, especially when we visit their graves. It's like I don't exist, like all that matters to her are the bones beneath the soil.
I've always played second fiddle to her dead, and I don't think anyone else should have to. No one else should have to go through what she and Aunt Amelia did afterwards, and no other child should have to be forgotten because his or her mother is incapable of remembering them. No one.
It's just so unfair that this has to happen. Why can't the Dark Lord get off his power-crazed horse, and forget about his need for world domination, his need to kill and wound and maim people, and tear families apart. He should wake up and see the lake of blood and sweat and tears that lies at his feet, a lake that is his fault entirely, and he should drown himself in it.
Sometimes I really hate this, this waking up every morning and not knowing whether or not people will die, this clinging to increasingly worn shreds of hope.
Sometimes I realise it's all we've got.
~Susan