ipushpeopleawaywhenineedthemthemost
I usually write in my deadjournal but since it doesn't seem to want to work on my sidekick I've resorted to lj.
I've recently found out that my uncle has stage 3 cancer in his bladder. for months he thought it was his prostate and everyone thought he was just being paranoid. well, they were wrong. he had surgery on friday to remove tissue and hopefully all the remains of cancer. they said there isn't any sign of it still in his body and it looks healthy so I'm hoping for the best. I've been a nervous wreck since wednesday and wanted to talk to someone about it but who the hell do I go to? it felt like one of those weird subjects you don't tell friends. oh well. I guess I did a good job of hiding my fear from people....or maybe they're just oblivious to me now.
I feel like running away again. I was proud of myself for lasting 6 months in one place, but the more time I spend by myself the more I wish I was home. all I want for christmas is to be in north carolina with my mom and her family. this is going to be one of the hardest times ever and it shouldn't be. my entire az family, except for dad, is going to washington for christmas. didn't think to invite me along. dad will end up being with debbie like all other holidays. whatever. I can't keep living life hating her because she's taken my dad away from me. he's happy, and I should be happy for him.
I've been good about keeping everything bottled up inside. I'm going to continue to do it until my deadjournal decides to start working again.
I've recently found out that my uncle has stage 3 cancer in his bladder. for months he thought it was his prostate and everyone thought he was just being paranoid. well, they were wrong. he had surgery on friday to remove tissue and hopefully all the remains of cancer. they said there isn't any sign of it still in his body and it looks healthy so I'm hoping for the best. I've been a nervous wreck since wednesday and wanted to talk to someone about it but who the hell do I go to? it felt like one of those weird subjects you don't tell friends. oh well. I guess I did a good job of hiding my fear from people....or maybe they're just oblivious to me now.
I feel like running away again. I was proud of myself for lasting 6 months in one place, but the more time I spend by myself the more I wish I was home. all I want for christmas is to be in north carolina with my mom and her family. this is going to be one of the hardest times ever and it shouldn't be. my entire az family, except for dad, is going to washington for christmas. didn't think to invite me along. dad will end up being with debbie like all other holidays. whatever. I can't keep living life hating her because she's taken my dad away from me. he's happy, and I should be happy for him.
I've been good about keeping everything bottled up inside. I'm going to continue to do it until my deadjournal decides to start working again.