[life goes on...]

Jul 06, 2006 00:29

so, I've been trying not to write in this so much lately but I'm in the mood so I figured why not!

welll...yesterday was the 4th of July as we all know. it went well surprisingly. I was thinking about it this morning, and July isn't a good month for me emotionally. two years ago was when I went through alllll that shit with Derek and my parents around the 13th. last year I was molested at a July 4th party at Matts house. thenn a week later I was raped. buuut like I said, yesterday went well. I worked at 4:30. had smoking all to myself. 12 tables. muahaha. too bad we werent busy. I only have 4 =/. was sad cuz it started raining and we had a small thunder storm. by the time it got dark it stopped so yea. anyways came home to my whole neighborhood outside lighting off their own fireworks. I forgot they were legal here! I was so excited. played with a few. got bored. blah blah.

I've been talking to Paige lately. I miss her. she's been on my mind like craaazy lately. ever since I had like 3 people at work as me if I'm a lesbian. weird, no? anyways. she is such a doll. she wants me to come back and get an apt with her and Jayden. that would be fun. but we'll see.

I apologized to Jessi a few nights ago for my behavior when I lived there. I told her how I tend to try to push people away when I really need them, she said she noticed and shes sorry that she didn't jump in and try to change things. it's okay. we're better now. I told her I wanted to start over and hopefully get things back to normal with us. she said she's been wanting to text me for months telling me about so much stuff in her life but thought I was mad. knowing she didn't forget about me made me happy. it has actually been 15 years for us. crazy, I know.

uhmmm...tonight I think I got all the smartass people. so many tables were giving me crap. but I like that. it makes my job more fun cuz of course I come back at them with my smartass comments. the manager I was working with, oh boy do I dislike her mucho. she was mad cuz I hadn't turned in my checkout, I was like well I can't help that you sat me a party of 7 and they're still here AND eating. so she yelled at me and told me to try to kick them out. bitch. then I turned in my money, and went to go clean my table after the people left. I went into the alley to throw something away and she goes "oh I thought you left, I just clocked you out" grrrr. I walked out. I said I'm done and just left. I'll prob be in trouble tomorrow but I don't give a shit. she had no right to do that. plus, she didn't claim any money for me so its gonna fuck with my taxes. ahhhh. bright side for tonight: I found out I made $30 more than I thought I did! I like nights like those. ohh and I got a $81 paycheck. sweeet.

okay wow. I havent written like this in a while. feels kinda nice to get it all out again.

moms starting to get on my nerves. I have been picking up extra shifts so I can make more money faster and pay off my credit card faster. the sooner I get it paid off, the sooner I can start saving maaaad money and the sooner I get my truck =]. hopefully my car won't give me anymore crap until then. :crosses fingers:

me and Derek are still doing okay. we don't talk as much as we did a few weeks ago. but I'm glad he's still there.

haven't talked to Shanea in like a week. makes me nervous. hope she's okay.

wellll I guess I'll stop writing now. not much else to say. my life is pretty boring. later days♥
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