(no subject)
Panda Ann: I want to write a romantic song for my album, something very sweet that will appeal to chicks. Something like "i wanna do you nice and hard, then pick you up some mcdonalds in the morning and maybe then send you some flowersssssss"
Jack: Hmm. How about "Let's have relations after we have a serious discussions about where this is goingggggg" Something like that.
Jack: "I want to have relations with you after we are married and I've accessed your net worthhhhh"
Panda Ann: Maybe you're right..."I wanna do you hard, but not after we have discussions about wether or not you like it in the butt and like do kill jewssss"
Panda Ann: you're a genius Jack!
Jack: I didn't say anything about in the butt...
Jack: "I want to learn to respect your opinion and when and if the time comes, give you my flowerrrrrrrrrr"
Panda Ann: If you're not going to take this serious I'm going to have a team of vikings rape you in the ass with a traffic cone!
Jack: AHHHHHH not again!
Panda Ann: I've always enjoyed the bible, can we get the guy who wrote that?
Jack: God is really busy these days, All I could find was that fat chick who had the afro puffs, lady of rage
Panda ann: This is so hard! ARGHHHHH
Jack: You just need to write from your heart...or in your case...via the vag
Panda Ann: ....the vag...eh..?
Panda Ann: NOIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Noir: Whut?
Panda Ann: I'm writing a romantic ballad in the style of Celine Dion and I need help
Noir: Lemme think.....
Noir: how about "Yeah baby, i love you, you are so hot, what i want to do is take you out to a nice dinner and order everything in french, then spoon feed you some kind of flourless chocolate cake, after i pay the bill we'll walk down the beach and i'll quote love poems to make you think i'm all romantic and shit, then once we get home i'll start a fire and pour some wine and slip a roofie in it and while that takes effect i'll sneak into the bathroom and put on my cockring and shave my balls because i haven't done that in a few days and they're a little prickly, i meant to get them waxed but sonyin, my waxist got deported because she was cooking up crystal meth in her bathtub and generally that kind of behavior is frowned upon in america. Once you're good and passed out i'll come back and violate every viable orifice in your body including your ears and once i'm done i'll pee pee all over you because treating women as objects really turns me on. after i pee pee all over you, i'll take you in the shower and prop you up using some 2x4's i bought at home depot earlier in the week because my cousin gave me a gift certificate for christmas and all i ever buy from home depot is bird seed. After i get you all clean and pee pee free i'll wash and do a hot oil treatment on your hair because it's overprocessed from one too many home perms. I'll lay you down in bed and catch the 11:00 news before i hold you in my arms and we drift off to sleep together. The next morning you'll wake up and i'll tell you that you fell asleep after you had too much to drink and althought i was disappointed we couldn't make love i just put you in bed and fell asleep next to you. You'll probably feel guilty and at least give me an earlier morning hummer, i'll be careful not to get any in your hair because the hot oil treatment made it look really nice and yeah baby i love you, you are so hot yeah baby babyyyyyyyyy"
Jack: .......................................
Panda Ann: ...............................
Panda Ann: GENIUSSSSSSSSSSSS