(no subject)

Apr 17, 2007 18:57

to most, i recently fell off of the planet. in actuality i've been starving and exercising until i pass out, binging and purging, or too high to give a fuck. i'm not sure what made me relapse...something in me just clicked and maybe a couple weeks after this i began to slowly withdraw from everything else. i'm also not sure WHY, seeing as i have recovered which took me a year and a half, but unforutnately it takes a much shorter time to get sucked in completely. i also KNOW what kind of path i'm going down. i'm perfectly aware of all of the shit and everything i'll lose...i know that ultimately nothing good comes out of this..but for some reason my head is split into two again and i keep doing this shit, perfectly aware of everything i'm doing. i don't understand why i can't learn. i also don't understand why people even care if people can from die from eating disorders because what they don't tell you is that if you don't die soon from a complication...you'll just live with the disease forever and THEN die.
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