(no subject)
Today is really hard....i had a date last night, it was horrible. I hated it i didnt want to be there at all. I feel bad for the guy bc i wasnt all there. I cant date right now im not ready i came home and cried for 3 hours. Like everything is a constant reminder. Im so like depressed right now and I hate it. I hate it so much I want it to go away but it cant. I dont even know what to do about it anymore. I was alright till the bar the other night and then yesterday. I hate fighting with him I hate it so much but thats all we do. I did some wrong things. Im sorry, No one is perfect...its not as if you didnt do wrong things either.
You never know what the future holds... that gives me a lil hope that maybe things will be better in a few months years but you know i thought that before and look what happend Miranda didn't learn the first time or the second or the third. WHY DONT I GET IT? I WAS UNHAPPY...there are thing I thought we should have been able to talk about things we should have been doing. If your gonna marry someone you talk about the future....we did at first then it stopped so why am I so upset now? Why do i let this get to me so much...I know all the bad stuff that happend and I know all the reasons why we shouldnt be together why I dont /shouldnt marry him......he helped that girl move out..you dont do that for someone you dont like...i just want the truth ya know like if you dont love me just tell me if you think you made a mistake in proposing just tell me....ya know...i just want to know. Thats soposed to be me, im soposed to be the girl...
I was doing good last summer i was doing really good and then he came back and I didnt want to go back i tried to fight it but i couldnt. He proposed how do you say no to that? And everything he said was just so what i wanted to hear....of course it was I hate that im not strong when it comes to him. And like part of me wants him to come back but then the same thing is gonna happen
so when will it stop hurting and when i can be me again?
You never know what the future holds... that gives me a lil hope that maybe things will be better in a few months years but you know i thought that before and look what happend Miranda didn't learn the first time or the second or the third. WHY DONT I GET IT? I WAS UNHAPPY...there are thing I thought we should have been able to talk about things we should have been doing. If your gonna marry someone you talk about the future....we did at first then it stopped so why am I so upset now? Why do i let this get to me so much...I know all the bad stuff that happend and I know all the reasons why we shouldnt be together why I dont /shouldnt marry him......he helped that girl move out..you dont do that for someone you dont like...i just want the truth ya know like if you dont love me just tell me if you think you made a mistake in proposing just tell me....ya know...i just want to know. Thats soposed to be me, im soposed to be the girl...
I was doing good last summer i was doing really good and then he came back and I didnt want to go back i tried to fight it but i couldnt. He proposed how do you say no to that? And everything he said was just so what i wanted to hear....of course it was I hate that im not strong when it comes to him. And like part of me wants him to come back but then the same thing is gonna happen
so when will it stop hurting and when i can be me again?