(no subject)
fuck. who am i to deseve all these things? last night i sat on a hill and watched about ten to twenty entire apartments burn down. the fire was massive, bigger than one i thought i'd ever live to see. it almost caught on to my complex. i had a friend who lived in those. she called me and asked me to bring her dance clothes to class tommarrow. fuck she was fine on the phone. she, who has absoultely nothing but the clothes on her back, is feeling doing good. that is wonderful, she must be truly wonderful. i don't deserve all these things i have. i wish i didn't need them. she has nothing and still finds a way, and i can't find my way period. and i know fucking up is part of the process, i know it. but why. i just wanted for once in my life, to go back to being a child.