Wahhh! Cut didn't work! I unfortunately do not have the ability to fix it for you, so please do so ASAP. I'll give you a day or so before I have to delete it. :( Especially because there's a sex scene. ;)
Also, please remember to add the "author: v" tag to your posts, just for my piece of mind. I've been doing it for you so far, but it would be nice if you could start doing that.
Thank you, thank you! Happy posting!
PS. - I'm going to give you some unsolicited mod/beta advice if you don't mind. When doing dialogue, I would put an extra line in every time someone new speaks. So for instance, your first dialogue bits would look more like this:
"Ville, where are you going?"
Ville looked over his shoulder to see Lily standing next to the sofa, arms crossed in front of his chest, eyebrows furrowed.
"I'm going to see Bam. He lives with his parents, I think, and I want to go and talk to him." Ville took his hand away from the knob and showed Lily the CD. "I need to give him this, its my last attempt to get him to talk to me."
Lily's expression softened as he uncrossed his arms and sighed.
"Ville, Bam hasn't returned your calls for over two years now. You need to stop doing this to yourself. I don't want to see you get hurt."
Anyway, it just makes it easier for your audience to read. But it's up to you.
Hi I'M so sorry for the cut not working, I have no idea why it didn't. Thank you for the advice, I will take it on board and make sure I use it when I write my chapters.
Also, please remember to add the "author: v" tag to your posts, just for my piece of mind. I've been doing it for you so far, but it would be nice if you could start doing that.
Thank you, thank you! Happy posting!
PS. - I'm going to give you some unsolicited mod/beta advice if you don't mind. When doing dialogue, I would put an extra line in every time someone new speaks. So for instance, your first dialogue bits would look more like this:
"Ville, where are you going?"
Ville looked over his shoulder to see Lily standing next to the sofa, arms crossed in front of his chest, eyebrows furrowed.
"I'm going to see Bam. He lives with his parents, I think, and I want to go and talk to him." Ville took his hand away from the knob and showed Lily the CD. "I need to give him this, its my last attempt to get him to talk to me."
Lily's expression softened as he uncrossed his arms and sighed.
"Ville, Bam hasn't returned your calls for over two years now. You need to stop doing this to yourself. I don't want to see you get hurt."
Anyway, it just makes it easier for your audience to read. But it's up to you.
Thanks again for posting!
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