drunkonhim
in
__vam
Just a Whore Chp 35a
Title: Just a Whore
Summary: my personal spin on the movie "Pretty Woman". Ville is a young whore, trapped and searching for his saviour
Pairing: various, but mostly focused on Vam. there will be some surprise guests though
Disclaimer: i own nothing (except this story) and no one. please don't sue!
A/N: Last chapter, darlings. Once again, it must be broken up, which sucks because I just barely went over the limit with this one. Sorry for clogging the newsfeed :/
Previous Chapter: Chapter 34b
Translations (got them from the internet, forgive me if they’re wrong):
Mitä helvettiä- What the hell
Chapter 35
Ville (POV)
“…-alo…signs of…-provement.”
“How long… think he’ll… -ake up.”
There are the sound of muddled voices coming from around me, though I cannot point out the source. Everything feels weird right now. I feel heavy, yet my mind feels light, as if I could float away at any moment. Something feels as if it’s weighing me down, though, like an anchor tied to me. I don’t feel as warm anymore. The heat around me is comfortable now rather than the unbearable temperature it was before, and I don’t feel the sheen of sweat anymore. In fact, I feel rather comfortable right now. This definitely isn’t how I remember my prison being…. Where am I?
“Almost didn’t…-atch…infection in time.”
Who is speaking? More importantly, why can’t I hear any screaming? The last few things I remember were the sounds of voices screaming in the distance. Well that and unimaginable pain. All of it is gone now. I don’t feel anymore pain and everything around me is silent, save for the mumbled voices in the distance. I remember being touched softly by something and smiling, but everything afterwards is a blank…. D- did I die? Did my body finally give out? I don’t know. The weighted down feeling makes me doubt it, but I don’t feel pain. If I had died, that would mean I was free from the pain.
Soon I realize that my eyes are closed. My lids feel heavy as I struggle to open them. When I manage to crack open the lids, a blinding white light shines through my lashes and I have to close them again. A blinding white light and I’m free from all pain; yep, I’m dead. This must be the place that Momma told me about when I was little. This is the place where good people go when they die. Here, there will be no more sadness or hurt. I can finally be at peace.
“Mr… -alo.”
The muddled voice is closer to me this time. The baritone voice sounds as if it’s right in my ear. It’s not really unpleasant. In fact, it is almost soothing. The voice continues to speak words I can’t understand as I feel something touching me. A soft pressure trails from my cheek, up to my temple and over to my brow. The sensation almost feels nice, until my eyelid is suddenly pulled open and an even brighter light shines into my eye, scorching my retina.
“Mitä helvettiä?” I groan and try to pull away from the light.
Fingertips on my jaw line gently tilt my head back over to the source of the light as that deep voice speaks once more.
“Mr. Valo.” I can make it out a bit more clearly now. “Mr. Valo, can you hear me?”
Of course I can hear you. My lips part to inform the mysterious voice of this, but no sound escapes from me. I can’t make my vocal chords form the words I need.
“Mr. Valo, I need you to open your eyes. Can you do that for me?”
I try to nod, but I don’t know whether I actually managed to move or not. All of my strength is now dedicated to opening my eyes to more than a peek. The bright light comes once more through my thick lashes, but the pain from it is dulled now. After a moment, my lashes are no longer obstructing my vision, but I can still only see light and a silhouette of a figure above me. Normally I would be frightened by such a thing, but it doesn’t scare me now. With this soothing voice speaking to me and the pain for once absent from my body, everything seems peaceful.
“Good, Mr. Valo,” the figure tells me. The words are accompanied by a hand smoothing back the hair on my forehead. The small motion actually feels wonderful right now, after spending so long in darkness and being consumed by hurt.
“You’re doing great,” it continues. “You’re doing good.”
I have to blink my eyes a few times, but soon the silhouette of the figure above me becomes clearer. The first thing I can make out are warm toffee colored eyes staring down gently at me. The owner of the eyes continues to stroke my hair back as I struggle to focus my vision. After a few minutes, I can see the soft wrinkles at the corner of the person’s eyes, the stubble growing in around his jaw line, and the salt and pepper coloring of his hair. The man’s lips are stretched into a fatigued smile as he looks down on me kindly. The man seems nice, but not quite how I pictured an angel to look. Am I even dead, though?
“Welcome back, Mr. Valo?”
Back? Back from where? Where the hell am I, for that matter?
“Who…”
I try to speak, but it feels as if there are shards of glass in my throat. All I can manage is that whispered word before my vocal chords give out. Thankfully, the man above me seems to understand.
“I’m Dr. Simm,” he tells me softly. “You’re in Bellevue Hospital.”
Well, that answers that question; I’m alive…. How the hell am I alive? How did I get here? The only people who knew where I was kept away were Viggo, those people who ran the torture chamber, and Andreas. Did Andy tell the police where I was? No… he wouldn’t have come for me alone then. I sincerely doubt that Viggo or that Bauer man would have brought me to the hospital. What the fuck happened to me?
“You’ve been here for and asleep for about three days, Mr. Valo,” the doctor tells me, as if he sensed my thoughts. “The wounds inflicted on your wrist set off what is known as streptococcal toxic shock syndrome. It’s a potentially fatal illness caused by a bacterial toxin. Now the wounds on your wrist were teeth marks. Was the bite self-inflicted?”
The doctor’s explanation is confusing right now, but I’m trying my best to understand. I nod to his question and his eyes flash a look of both concern and mild disappointment.
“Well, Mr. Valo, when you tore through your skin, your wrist became infected with the bacteria Streptococcus aureus, and the shoddy suture job done by your captors didn’t help matters. When you were brought in, you had many of the more severe symptoms, such as a high body temperature, low blood pressure, a rash on your palms, and unfortunately… your left kidney went into renal failure.”
“What…”
I can’t process what he just said. The fever I was pretty well aware of, but the rest was confusing me. My kidney failed!?
“Your left kidney shut down,” he repeats in a somber tone. “Although this may seem horrifying, Mr. Valo, I assure you that you actually very lucky that we caught this before you entered complete renal failure.”
“W- what’s going… to happen to me?” I manage to croak out. The terror I’m feeling from the situation has made me found my voice. I still don’t know how I survived or escaped from that dungeon, but I don’t want to have the irony of dying here in this hospital.
“We’ve drained the abscess from your wrist and you’re currently being given a very effective antibiotic treatment,” he smiles. It’s not as comforting as before.
“W- what about my kidney?”
“Many people lead normal lives with just one, Mr. Valo,” he assures. “I promise, you have more than enough renal tissue in one to survive. As long as this antibiotic treatment is successful, you should be ready to go in two to three weeks. You are a very lucky man, Mr. Valo.”
Lucky? I’m fortunate to be alive right now, yes, but I don’t think I would go as far to say ‘lucky.’ After all, look at all that has happened. I’ve been tortured, abused, abandoned, and the only person who cared enough to try to save me was murdered before my eyes. I’m alive and happy to be so, but the feeling is bittersweet. What will there be for me now?
“Mr. Valo,” a new voice pipes up. Looking over the doctor’s shoulder, I see a woman with short brown hair standing off to the side. “I’m Detective Benson. If you’re up to it, I’d like to ask you a few questions.”
“I don’t think Mr. Valo can help you right now,” the doctor tells her.
“It would only take a few minutes,” she tells him.
“Mr. Valo needs rest now, Detective,” he tells her sternly. “It’ll be a few days before he can answer any of your questions.”
I know that the doctor is just looking out for me, but I don’t like being spoken about as if I’m not here. Viggo would do that too often…. Viggo. I don’t want to think about that monster, but I can’t stop my thoughts from straying there. What happened? Did someone finally catch him? Well, obviously someone did if there is a police officer here. How though? Viggo is always so careful and controlled. I’m not complaining about anything, but I’m just wondering what the hell happened…. A thought occurs to me suddenly that perhaps Viggo hadn’t been caught. Perhaps someone had just discovered the dungeon, but not the man who had put me there. What if he was free right now!?
“Where’s Viggo!?” I shout in a hoarse voice, my throat burning from it. The woman looks to me curiously and takes a cautious step towards my bedside.
“Ville-”
“Where is he!?” I demand to know. If that bastard was still free, then he may be on his was here now. He’ll finish what he started. I have to warn them.
“Relax, Ville,” she tells me in a hushed tone. “Viggo has been arrested.”
“…A- arrested?” I repeat in a disbelieving tone.
“Yes,” she nods. “He’s been arrested. He’ll never be able to hurt you again.”
…I don’t believe it. I mean, I want to believe it. I want to believe that every word this woman has said is true. It may be true. Viggo may indeed be locked up now, but there still remains in me that instinctual fear. Viggo Mortensen has for years been the monster hiding under my bed at night, the whisper in the dark, and the terror knocking at my door. To think that someone could actually stop him is unimaginable. So they may have stopped him now, but Viggo is my immortal fear…. He’ll always be there, inside my mind.
“Ville, would you like me to call someone for you. Your family, perhaps? We’ve been trying to get into contact with them.”
My family?
“No!” I say sternly, shaking my head at the woman.
“Ville, I’m sure that they would love to see you again and be here for you. You haven’t seen them in some time.”
“I don’t care,” I tell her. “Don’t call them.”
“…Why not?” She asks, tilting her head to the side in confusion.
‘Why not?’ What a stupid question. The first time I saw Jesse again after so many years had been one of the worst moments of my life. Though it did turn out for the best in the end, it had been terrible. I had never felt so much shame and anger before. Now, after all that has happened, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look any of them in the eyes again. The look on Momma’s face if she knew…. Just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes. I can’t let them see me like this, not now. I can’t let Daddy know of the things I have done. When I made that promise to Jesse, I had thought that I would be able to change things on my terms, that I could make everything better. But now….
“Just please,” I whisper as a tear falls from the corner of my eye, “please don’t call them. Please.”
“Ville-”
“I’m an adult and it’s my choice,” I cut her off. “Just please… don’t make them see me like this.”
The woman doesn’t say anything more. Her brown eyes shift downwards and she gives me a small nod before turning away. I suppose that she has decided to heed the doctor’s words and let me be, but I have a feeling she’ll be back. The woman exit’s the room and the doctor tells me to rest before following her out, leaving me alone once more. In my solitude, I have time to reflect now on all that has happened. I still don’t fully understand why I’m alive. I should have died, many times during my capture-- hell, I should have died many times before then. Why was I spared then? What value is there in me that I should be granted this second chance on life? After all, I’m just a whore.
The biggest question I should be thinking of now is, where do I go from here? Once I’m released from this hospital I’ll be given a second chance on life. What kind of life will I have, though? I have no home, no friends, I can’t stand the shame of all that I’ve done, and the only skill I’ve acquired over the years is the ability to spread my legs for the right price. There is nothing for me out there. So, again, why was I spared?
“You’re awake.”
I cut my eyes towards the sudden voice and gasp when I see a person standing in the doorway. There is a man with medium length, strawberry blonde hair and a full beard staring at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. The man takes a step into the room and on instinct, I try to shrink away from him. I don’t know who the hell this person is or what they’re doing here. For all I know, this could be one of Viggo’s men. The person stops when he notices my frightened body language and holds a hand up.
“Hey, relax,” he tells me calmly. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“W- who are you?” I ask, still trying to shift away from him.
“I’m Ryan. Ryan Dunn,” he introduces.
“What are you doing here?”
“It’s ok,” he assures. “I’m a friend of Bam.”
Bam…. Bam knows that I’m here? How could he know? When I last saw him, I told him that I never wanted to see him again. At the time I had meant it. What Bam did to me hurt worse than he’ll ever truly know. Given the events that followed, though, I’ve learned that there are worse things in the world than lying to the person you care about. I’m angry with Bam… but a part of me still loves him. The situation with him has left me confused, hurt, and angry. I don’t know whether our time together was real or if it was all some bit for his show. I don’t regret my time with him, though. Real or not, he made me feel more loved than I ever had before and I’ll always be grateful to him for that.
“Mind if I sit down?” He asks, gesturing to the chair near the bed. “It’s been a rough week.”
“G- go ahead,” I nod. I watch the man carefully as he plops himself down into the seat. He lets out a loud contented sigh as he stretches his arms over his head.
“God, it feels good to sit down,” he says, yawning for emphasis. “Been a hell of a week. I can’t really remember the last time I showered. Sorry if you can smell me.”
“Um… not to be rude, but w- why are you here?”
“I just thought I should check up on you. The doctors said that you would be knocked out for a while. Just my luck, though, I come back from the cafeteria and you’re awake.”
Ryan gives me a half-hearted smile, but I can’t really return it. He didn’t answer my question, but rather went around it. Why was he here? He said that he was a friend of Bam, but why wouldn’t Bam just come here himself?
“We should probably talk,” he sighs, looking away from me.
“…About what?”
“About everything that’s gone on,” he answers. “A lot of people have gotten hurt.”
“W- what do you mean?”
Ryan sighs heavily and rubs his forehead before his glance returns to me. “When Bam came home he holed himself up in his house for days. He wouldn’t talk to anyone, wouldn’t let anyone come over…. He told me about what happened between you two and the fight you guys had. He was really fucking hurt. Worse than I’ve ever seen him.”
“…H- he really hurt me,” I tell him, feeling a little defensive.
“I’m sure he did,” he nods. “Bam’s always been a bit of an asshole, but he feels pain like anyone else. He loves like any other person. That’s why he drove back here in the middle of the night when he heard that you were missing.”
“H- he did?”
“Yeah…. He’s been through absolute hell since then. The police took him, thinking that he was responsible for what happened to you. Of course, your pimp kind of set him up to take the fall. He got arrested for assaulting the asshole. The fucker took him,” Ryan’s breath hitches as he speaks. “He beat him.”
“V… Viggo hurt Bam?” The tears are welling up in my eyes again. When Ryan nods, they begin to spill down my cheeks. It’s all my fault. Viggo hurt Bam because of me, because I had loved him. It’s not fair. Bam didn’t deserve to suffer because of me.
“He had some dick cop take him from jail,” Ryan continues. “The guy threw him down the stairs and broke his wrist and two of his ribs. The guy took him to Viggo who then proceeded to beat the shit out of him….”
“…I- is he…?” I can’t bring myself to finish the question. I don’t think that I could live knowing that Viggo killed Bam.
“…The police got there just in time,” Ryan sighs and another wave of tears flow from my eyes. Thank you, God! “The bastard tried to strangle him in front of you, but apparently you were unconscious.”
“W- what?” My eyes widen from the shock. “H- he tried to kill him in front of me?”
“Yeah,” he nods sadly. “When the cops found him, Bam wasn’t breathing…. I almost lost my best friend.”
“I… I’m so sorry,” I cry with a hiccup in my voice. “I- it’s my fault…. B- Bam should have never been involved.”
“I… I know you’re sorry,” he said, letting out a heavy breath. “And I know you’ve been through a hell of a lot, probably worse shit than I could ever imagine… but you’ve gotta understand that I’m mad. I’m pissed about the whole situation. Bam has been my best friend since I was fifteen. Those hours when he was gone and I didn’t know what happened to him were the worst of my life. Then he almost died….”
The man turns away from me and I can see that he’s trying his best not to cry. I understand that he’s angry, and to be honest he has every right to be upset. It’s my fault that Bam got involved in this mess, he has every right to hate me.
“I- I almost had to call his mother and explain why her son was gone. I would have had to tell her that her son put his life in danger over someone he barely knew.”
“…I never asked him to come after me,” I whisper.
“I know you didn’t,” he nods. “From what Bam told me, he was the one who chased after you through this whole thing.”
“S- so why are you telling me this?” I ask as I try to get my breathing back under control.
“I just thought that you should know,” he answers. “I felt that you deserved to know the truth. I know that you were mad at Bam and on some level you probably blame him for this… but he went through hell to find you. He cares about you… just remember that.”
Before I can think to say anything else, Ryan gets up from the chair and heads towards the exit. My eyes follow him as he steps out of my doorway. He stops a few steps outside the door and looks as if he’s talking to someone. The next thing I hear is a shout and soon another body is running into my room. It wasn’t until the person stopped before my bed that I recognized who it was.
“Ville…” Bam’s voice is barely above a whisper.
Neither of us speak for some time afterwards, but rather we just stare each other down. Bam looks like hell. His tanned skin is covered in various shade of ugly bruises, ranging from a sickly yellow to dark purple. His left eye is swollen almost completely shut and there are plastic stitching on his right brow. On his neck are more of those ugly bruises, but they’re lines that are evenly spaced; marks from Viggo’s fingers. The bastard tried to strangle Bam the way he’s done to me so many times before. That seems to be his favorite way of taking a life…. I suppose he likes to watch all of the emotion flicker in a person’s eyes right before they die. Stop it! I don’t want to think of him, not now.
“V- Ville,” Bam says my name again as he takes a small, cautious step forward. His voice is more hoarse than my own. No doubt a result of the attempted strangulation. The skater’s blue eye is misting as he looks down towards me. I wipe away another tear when I see him chew on the corner of his trembling lower lip.
“Bam… I-”
The skater doesn’t give me a chance to say how sorry I am for everything. Before I can say a word, strong arms wrap around me, pulling me unbelievably close to his warm, hard chest. The force of his grasp is enough to make us both wince from the pain, but he doesn’t let go of me. Truth be told, I don’t want him to let go. He puts his head on my shoulder and soon I hear his quiet sobbing in my ears. Squeezing my eyes shut tightly to prevent more tears, I gingerly wrap my arms around him and run my fingers gently up and down his spine. His body is shaking with the force of his sobs. I know, kulta…. I know.
“God, Ville,” he quietly hisses. “I- I didn’t know if you were going to wake up…. The doctor said y-you were really sick.”
“Shh…,” I whisper in his ear. “I’m alright, Bammie. I’m alright.”
The skater pulls back enough so that we’re looking each other in the eye. With the back of his hand he wipes away a tear falling from his bright blue eye and he gives me a wide smile. It felt good to see his smile again, so good that I couldn’t help but return the gesture. Wanting to touch him more, I gently cup his cheek. The stubble of his beard pricks at my skin, but it just felt so good to touch his soft skin again. The smile slowly fades from his lips and his hand raises to wrap around mine.
“Ville… I am so sorry,” he says softly. “I am so fucking sorry…. All of this is my fault.”
“No, Bam,” I shake my head. “It’s mine. I-”
“No!” He says so forcefully that it causes me to jump. “Don’t you dare blame yourself. You did nothing wrong, no matter what anyone says. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t left you like I did, if I hadn’t chased after you to begin with….”
The skater looks down as he releases another shaky sob. He feels as if the whole situation is his fault? No, it’s not…. Not completely. Bam didn’t know what would happen to me. He couldn’t control what some psychopath would do. Bam couldn’t have known what Viggo would do to me. All he did was care about me, he shouldn’t apologize for that. If anything, I’m the one who should be begging his forgiveness. I dragged him into this mess and nearly got him killed. By all rights he should hate me… but he doesn’t. In fact-
“You came for me,” I say aloud. Bam’s eyes flash back up to me and he looks to me curiously. “You came for me,” I repeat, “that’s all that matters.”
“I should have never left.”
“Bam… don’t blame yourself, please. I’m the one who told you to go…. It doesn’t matter, though. I- I thought that everyone abandoned me, but you tried to find me. That’s all that matters.”
“I would never abandon you,” he swears, kissing my palm. “I’m so sorry that I left. As soon as I saw that fucking magazine article I should have come and found you. I just…. I just didn’t think you wanted to see me anymore and-- Fuck! I just didn’t stop and think!”
Bam lets go of my hand suddenly and begins to pound at his forehead with the heel of his palm. He does this repeatedly, saying over and over again how stupid he is. Worried that he’s going to hurt himself even more I grab hold of his wrist as tightly as I can and pull it away.
“Bam, stop it!”
“But I-”
“Stop it,” I tell him again, more softly this time. “Just stop, please. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. It’s over now…. It’s over.”
The skater’s breathing is still fuming, but he looks as if he’s trying to calm down for my sake. He’s really beating himself up over this, isn’t he? I wish he wouldn’t do that. Normally I would be doing the same, but whatever medication that the doctors have put in me seem to be keeping me mellow. All I am now is just sad and tired. I’m happy to be alive, but I’m sad for all that has happened. I’m sad of what this has all done to Bam…. I’m sad for all that I have lost.
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes again with a shaky breath. “I shouldn’t be trying to make this about me. How are you? How do you feel?”
“I… I feel as good as I can, I suppose,” I answer. “The doctor said that the infection in my arm would have killed me if the police didn’t find me when they did. I lost a kidney.”
“…Yeah,” he nods. “One of the nurses told me about that…. When I saw you laying on that floor and you wouldn’t wake up-- I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life.”
Bam’s voice dissolves into another sob. The heartache in his voice causes the tears to well up in my eyes once more. I’m so tired of crying, but it can’t be helped. The tears were mixtures of joy, relief, and overwhelming pain. We were both just so happy to be alive, but we were still frightened over what could have been. Biting my lower lip to keep it from trembling, I take his hand in mine once more. His warm hand squeezes mine gratefully and he gives me a sort of half-smile when he can manage to look at me again.
“H- how did the police know where to find me anyway?” I ask once I see that his chest has stopped shaking. I’m actually very curious to this answer. Viggo always kept his secrets carefully guarded. There is no way that they would have just stumbled upon it by coincidence
“I don’t know all of the details, but from what I’ve heard, one of Viggo’s guys sold him out.”
“Someone actually had the balls to betray him?” I ask, completely astonished. “Who was it?”
“I don’t know. Something starting with an ‘E.’”
“…E- Emil?”
“Yeah, I think that was it,” he nods. “You know him?”
I don’t answer Bam at first. My jaw was dropped in shock when he confirmed that it had been Emil. I didn’t know the man well, but he had always seemed like a strong worker for Viggo. He did whatever the other man asked of him, no matter what, and he never really seemed to care about anyone else. So why would he tell them where I was? The memory of dark blue eyes and painted ruby lips flash through my mind, and suddenly I remember the night Andreas tried to free me. My Andy was gunned down for trying to save me. From what I remember, he and Emil had been good friends…. He must have found out what happened to him.
“Y- yeah,” I finally say, giving a slight nod. “I- I knew him. He was a friend of Andreas.”
“I- I heard about what happened to him,” Bam whispers. “I’m sorry…. I know he was your friend.”
“Bam, please,” I sigh, wiping away another stray tear. “…I don’t want to talk about him right now.”
I don’t want Bam to know what Andreas tried to do for me. I don’t want him to know that my Swede was murdered before my eyes. And I really don’t want to have to explain looking my friend in the eyes as the light left him. That’s an image that I am going to carry with me forever. I don’t need to burden him with it as well.
“Sorry,” he whispers. “Its just that… I know that you cared about him. And I know that he really cared about you.”
“Y-yeah,” I nod, sighing heavily. “He really did…. But please, Bam, I can’t talk about him right now.”
“Alright,” he nods. “…T- there are some other things we need to talk about.”
“Like what?”
“There’s no easy way to say this, but… i- it’s about Jonne.”
My body visibly tenses at the sound of my former friend’s name. I suppose that he’s learned about what Jonne did then? He must think that I don’t know yet. I do, though. That night, Viggo made it all to clear about what Jonne had done to me. My best friend sold me out. For what reasons, I’m not sure of yet, but in the end it doesn’t matter. I think out of everything I’ve been through-- all of the sickness and pain-- his betrayal hurts the most. Jonne and I were together for eight years and he had always been the person I could count on for anything. We were brothers. I loved him more than anything.
“I- I know,” I say with a shaky breath, my eyes casting downwards. In my time locked away, I tried my best to come to terms with what Jonne did. It still hurts, but I can’t let myself cry over it anymore. “V-Viggo told me.”
“He did?” Bam asks softly. I nod in return.
“That day we had the fight and he stormed out…. Viggo wanted to see me soon after a- and he told me. He knew about the money I had hidden away. H- he said that Jonne told him,” I explain, biting down so hard on my lower lip that I fear it will start to bleed.
“That son of a bitch!” Bam exclaims. “Why would he-- That fucking cocksucker!”
“Bam, please,” I sigh. “I know what Jonne did was terrible… but he was so angry with me. I guess he just wanted to be with Novak so much that-”
“Ville, stop!” Bam puts his hand over my mouth to cut off my words. “Whatever he told you, it wasn’t true.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, removing Bam’s hand.
“Ville… Jonne didn’t sell you out. Bill did.”
“…W- what?” My jaw drops open from the shock of his words. “What are you saying?”
“It wasn’t Jonne who snitched on you, it was Bill,” he repeats. Bill?
“W- why would he do that?” I am truly stunned by this admission. It wasn’t my best friend who sold me out, but rather my teenage ward. I don’t know whether to be relieved or not, though. Why would Bill do that? Why would he want to hurt me like that? Jonne and I took him in with open arms and cared for him like he was a younger brother. To think that he would turn on us like that is unbelievable…. Then again, we should have been more wary. Bill wasn’t with us for too long, after all. Whatever Viggo offered him must have been too tempting to ignore.
“I don’t know,” he says sadly. “A- Andreas said that he had his reasons, but I swear, if I ever see that little bastard’s face again I’ll gut him,” he growls.
“S- so where is Jonne?” I ask. I’m overwhelmed with conflicting emotions right now. I’m angry and hurt by the news of Bill’s betrayal, but at the same time, I’m so elated to know that it wasn’t Jonne. My best friend didn’t hurt me, even though I was so cruel to him…. Where is he now, though? He should be in here, holding my hand and allowing me to cry on his shoulder.
Bam’s blue eyes dart away from me as he takes in a deep breath. His lips part briefly, as if he’s about to say something, but they’re quick to close again. My heart rate begins to quicken as the skater sits there, silently staring at the floor. What’s wrong? Why isn’t he saying anything?
“Bam,” I touch his shoulder gently, but he still won’t look at me. “Bam… where is Jonne?”
“Ville, I-”
“Where is he, Bam?” I ask, my voice giving away my growing panic. Bam still won’t turn to face me. “Look at me, Bam! Where is Jonne!?”
When the skater finally does look in my direction again I see that the whites of his eyes are tinged red and there is the shimmering mark of a tear trail on his cheek. In this moment, I felt a cold wave of fear wash over me…. No. It can’t be! Jonne has to be alright, he has to! I couldn’t have lost my best friend…. Please.
“Ville…. Something happened.”
“No…,” I whimper, my face crumbles immediately.
“A couple of days after you went missing, Jonne went to the cops,” Bam pauses to wipe his sniffling nose. “A few of Viggo’s guys cornered him and they…”
“No,” I cry, burying my face in my hands. Viggo hurt Jonne. The monster hurt my Jonne! How could he? Jonne is one of the sweetest, most beautiful souls ever to have lived. To hurt someone so sweet and innocent…
“Novak found him,” he continues. “They brought him here.”
“Is he alright!?” I ask, my voice full of hope. When Bam doesn’t answer me right away, all of that hope was shattered.
“H- he didn’t wake up when they brought him here. Then, a few days ago, that guy Emil came here and he… tried to smother him.”
“…Is he-”
I can’t bring myself to even finish that question. I don’t want to think it. The thought of a world without my Jonne is too horrifying to imagine. The man has been the most important person in my life from the moment we met. He’s the most wonderful, loving person anyone could know…. A world without him is one too bleak to bear.
“The doctors managed to revive him, but he hasn’t woken up yet,” the skater finishes with a whisper. “No one will tell me anything else.”
Tears begin to cascade from my eyes and my nose is becoming stuffy. I don’t care, though, because it hurts so much. Jonne is alive, and for that I am truly thankful, but he’s hurt so badly. He tried to go to the police to find me and Viggo tried to kill him for it. Why? Why does everyone I love have to get hurt because of me!?
“I- I want to see him,” I sob.
“I don’t know if they’ll-”
“I want to see him!” I scream.
When Bam doesn’t move, I sit up straight in the bed and move to get up. My arms are weak, making my body shake as I grip the edges of the bed. The IV in my arm is tugging and stinging me as I struggle, but I don’t let it deter me. Snapping out of whatever thought he was lost in, Bam leans forward and tries to gently push me back against the bed.
“Baby, you have to stop.”
“Let me go!” I scream. I push at the skater’s chest, but I’m too weak to even move him an inch. “Get the fuck off of me!”
“Ville, you have to calm down!”
“Get off of me!”
“What the hell is going on in here!?”
Bam and I both look over his shoulder to see Dr. Simm and a frightened looking nurse running into the room. Our screaming must have alerted them. While Bam is distracted, I shake him off of me and move to pull out my IV. The doctor is too busy grabbing hold of Bam, but the nurse notices what I’m doing. She rushes over to me and, with a surprisingly strong grip, takes hold of my hand.
“Doctor, we’re going to have to restrain him,” the nurse informs with an annoyed tone. Dr. Simm isn’t really paying attention to her, though. He’s too busy pinning Bam to the wall. I don’t know why he’s using such force, but the doctor has Bam in a completely submissive hold.
“Doctor!” The nurse calls. Dr. Simm looks back towards the nurse and I, but his hold remains on Bam.
“What was going on in here?” He demands to know.
“I’m trying to get out of this damn bed,” I say through panting breaths, wiping away a few falling tears. “Bam was trying to stop me.”
“He tried to pull out his IV, Doctor,” the nurse adds.
The doctor’s features seem to relax slightly and he releases his hold on Bam. “I apologize, Mr. Margera. Given what’s happened around here in the past few days, we can’t take any chances.”
“I- its alright,” Bam tells him, shaking out his muscles.
“Mr. Valo,” the doctor turns to me, “why exactly are you trying to take out your IV?”
“I- I need to get out of this bed,” I say with a hiccup. “I need to see Jonne.”
“Oh… I see,” the doctor replies with a solemn voice. “Mr. Valo, I don’t think that you’re in the right condition to be moved right now. You’ve just been through major surgery and you’re still fighting the infection. You need rest right now.”
“Please!” I cry. “I have to see Jonne. Please let me see him, please!”
“Mr. Valo-”
“Please!” I scream, cutting him off. “Please… after everything I’ve been through, at least give me that.”
The doctor just looks at me for a long time. More tears flow, blurring my vision, so I can’t read the emotions on his features. Through my tears, I’m silently pleading to be allowed to see my friend. After everything that has happened, I need him now more than ever. I need to hold his hand, I need to see his angelic face, I need to know that he’s still here with me, even though he’s not. I need my Jonne. I’m just praying that the doctor can see that.
“Should I restrain him, Doctor?” The nurse asks, breaking the silence.
“…No,” he says with a heavy sigh. The doctor rubs his temple lightly before coming over to my bedside. “I’ll make a deal with you Mr. Valo. If you’ll calm down and try to rest, then we’ll take you to see Jonne. If you don’t, though, then we’re going to have to sedate you.”
“H- how long?”
“Give us a few hours.”
“Hours!?” I shout. “Why can’t I see him now!?”
“Mr. Valo, like I said before, you’ve gone through major surgery and your body is still weak. You need rest, and lots of it. It’s dangerous for you to be even exerting yourself this much,” he explains. “I’ll do everything that I can to help you, but you’re going to have to meet me half-way here, Ville.”
What can I say to that? The answer is, absolutely nothing. I could try to put up a struggle and fight my way to Jonne, but if even the nurse is capable of restraining me right now, then I wouldn’t stand much of a chance against a team of doctors, or whoever the hell else they have out there. They’ll just end up tying me to the bed and then I’ll never get to see Jonne.
“F- fine,” I nod.
“Alright, Mr. Valo…. Give us a few hours and we’ll let you see him.”
With that, the doctor gives the nurse a look and the woman reluctantly lets go of my arm. The two quietly exit the room, leaving Bam and I alone once more. The skater is looking at me, but I can’t stand to be under his gaze right now. Instead, I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my head on my crossed arms. With this position, I can pretend that Bam isn’t here, that he can’t see my body shaking with the force of my sobbing, that he can’t hear my mumbled cries. I’m crying in a distorted mixture of Finnish and English, praying to God to spare my friend…. I honestly don’t think I could go on without him.
A warm hand gently touches my back, the fingers trailing slowly up and down my spine. Bam is trying to comfort me the best he knows how, but I don’t think it’s going to work this time.
“You don’t have to hide it,” he says softly. “You can cry in front of me if you need to.”
“…B- Bam,” I say his name in a barely audible whisper, “please… don’t talk to me right now.”
“D-do you want me to leave?”
I shake my head at his question and his fingers continue to run lightly over my back. I don’t want him to go, I don’t want to be alone… but I don’t want to look at him or hear him right now. All I want is Jonne.
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The four hours of waiting were perhaps the worst of my life. All I could do was sit in my bed and cry. I cried until I was gasping for air and my eyes dried up. I never thought that anything could hurt this badly. Bam stayed with me the whole time. We didn’t exchange a single word during those four hours, but he remained by my side, stroking my skin until his fingers grew tired. He didn’t have to stay with me the whole time, I’m sure that he had other things that he needed to do, but I’m glad he didn’t leave me.
When Dr. Simm finally returned, my heart began to beat wildly in my chest. I couldn’t hold back the anxiousness at seeing my friend. The doctor told me that when I saw him, I shouldn’t worry and I should try my best to stay relaxed. I nodded and told him that I would try, but I knew that I most likely wouldn’t be able to keep that promise. The doctor and a few nurses helped me into a wheelchair and connected me to a portable IV. I was surprised when the doctor himself actually began to wheel me from my room and down the hall. My skater walked closely behind us, perfectly content with staying at my side throughout the whole thing.
The closer we got to Jonne’s room, the more frightened I became. I didn’t know what to expect and I think that’s what scared me the most. Will Jonne look as he always does when he’s sleeping, or will his body be a mangled shell? I know what kind of damage Viggo’s men are capable of inflicting, and to be honest, it is a wonder as to why Jonne is alive at all. I think I know why that is, though. When Bam said that it had been Emil who tried to smother Jonne, I knew that it had to have been him who was ordered to beat Jonne in the first place. If Emil was involved with that, then that most likely meant Andreas was there as well…. Andy most likely saved his life. I’ll always love that big, beautiful Swedish oaf for that.
The doctor pauses suddenly in front of a room that strangely has no door. Gripping the armrests of the wheelchair, I hold my breath as the doctor slowly inches me into the room. The dim light illuminating from a bedside lamp is all the light that is coming from this room, though I can see why. Bam’s friend and Jonne’s lover, Novak, is asleep on the large sofa chair next to the window. The man looks haggard as hell. His clothes are dirty, there are cuts on what I can see of his face, and it seems as if he has not shaved in several days. All thoughts of him are quickly forgotten, though, as soon as my eyes land on the figure on the bed.
I have to put my hand over my mouth to hide my shocked gasp. Again, I don’t know what I was expecting to see. I think a part of me hoped that he would just be lying here like a little Sleeping Beauty, peaceful and serene, just waiting for the spell to break. The reality is always far worse, though. What I’m looking at now is the shell of my best friend; a broken body covered in shades of bruises, stitch work, and bandage that is being kept alive by the tube down his throat.
“Jonne!” His name escapes my in a gasp of air. Right now I want nothing more than to go over and take him in my arms, but the doctor’s strong hand on my shoulder prevents it.
“Keep calm, Mr. Valo,” he says softly. “Getting hysterical wouldn’t be good for you, and it certainly won’t help your friend.”
“I- I’m sorry,” I hiccup. I’m not really sorry for being upset, but I suppose it’s what the doctor wants to hear. Taking deep breaths, I try to remain calm, or at least make it look as if I were calm. “C- can I touch him?”
The doctor doesn’t say anything, but my chair begins to move closer towards the bed. My lip quivers uncontrollably as I look on at the pitiful sight of my friend. The doctor stops me once I’m directly at his bedside. With trembling hands, I gently reach out and touch Jonne’s smooth skin above the cast on his arm. My fingers trace over the fading yellow bruise on his otherwise pale skin. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jonne’s skin this light before. Jonne has always been fair-skinned, like myself, but it always held the slightest tint of tan coloring, like a drop of toffee in a cup of cream. Now the skin is lighter than my own, holding a sickly yellow tint. Looking up at his face, I see that there are healing scratches and more fading bruises. His cheeks look so gaunt and his pale pink lips are dry and cracked.
“Novak,” I hear Bam whisper softly.
Looking up, I see the skater gently nudging his sleeping friend. It takes a moment, but Novak slowly begins to stir. The man rubs his eyes until he seems to recognize his friend standing over him. He mumbles something, but I can’t quite make it out. When he sits up, his eyes fall on me and his expression falls. He looks at my hand on Jonne’s skin and looks as if he’s going to come at me, but he stops himself. I suppose that what’s happened to Jonne has made him a bit overprotective…. It’s good that Jonne has someone watching out for him, when I so obviously failed. When Novak’s look turns into an almost glare, I look away from him. I’m overwhelmed by guilt as it is. I don’t need Novak’s look reminding me that what happened to Jonne was my fault.
“Mr. Valo,” the doctor says my name softly as he kneels down beside my chair. “Do you know of any family members that we may be able to contact? The police have been checking, but they haven’t been able to find any of Mr. Aaron’s relatives.”
“Aaron?”
“Yes,” the doctor nods. “It’s policy that Mr. Aaron’s condition be shared only to family members. Unfortunately, no one has been able to find any trace of his family.”
“You won’t,” I tell him, sniffling my nose. “H- he never really went into detail, but he said that his family died in a car accident when he was little. I- I don’t know of any other relatives he may have…. And Aaron is his middle name. His last name is Liimatainen.”
The doctor takes in a sharp breath, taking me off guard. Turning to look at him, I see that his eyes are looking down to the floor now and they’re widened a bit. It confuses me, but he comes out of whatever trance he’s in after a few seconds.
“Doctor?”
“I- I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I’ll pass that information on to the police and maybe they’ll be able to track down some of his distant relatives.”
“Why?” I ask. “They won’t know him…. I’ve been his only family for the past eight years.”
“He has me now,” Novak’s voice butts in.
“Shut up, Novak,” Bam tells him quickly.
Ignoring them both, I turn my eyes back to Jonne. My beautiful, broken little angel. “W- what are his chances?”
“I’m afraid all that we can do now is wait and see,” Dr. Simm sighs. “Mr. Liimatainen has suffered serious head trauma and his body is steal healing from the assaults. Comatose patients could remain unconscious for a matter of days to several weeks.”
“Or longer?”
“On rare occasions, yes,” he nods. “Some patients wake and make full recoveries while others may slip into vegetative states. I believe the longest recorded one lasted thirty-seven years.”
“S- so there’s nothing that I can do?” I ask dumbly.
“I’m afraid that it’s not that simple. The human body is an amazing thing, Mr. Valo…. Your friend seems like a fighter. I’m sure his body is doing all it can to heal itself.”
“C- can he hear me?”
“It’s possible,” he nods. “Some patients have responded to the sound of loved one’s voices.”
“…Can I have a few moments alone with him?” I ask in a tiny voice. “Please?”
“Of course, Mr. Valo,” Dr. Simm nods.
“I’m not leaving,” Novak says. All eyes look over to the man as he stands up, his fists curling into tight balls looking as if he’s ready for a fight.
“Mr. Novak-” the doctor begins, but he’s quickly cut off.
“I said I’m not leaving! The last time I left him alone, some freak tried to kill him.”
“Shut the hell up, Novak!” Bam barks, hitting Novak’s head with his cast.
“Fuck you-”
“Gentlemen,” Dr. Simm interrupts. “If you both don’t knock it off, I’m going to have to remove you. Mr. Novak, I understand your concern, but you’re welcome to stand outside the door if it will make you feel better.”
Novak looks as if he’s about to fight the doctor on this. I know that he’s just looking out for Jonne… but I really just need to be alone with him right now.
“Novak… please,” I plead softly. “Please… I just need to talk to him.”
He stares me down for a few silent moments. I just continue to stare at him, eyes wide and silently pleading for him to grant me this one favor. After an unbearable silence, he finally backs down and begins to walk towards the exit of the room. He doesn’t make it far out, though, as he stops just outside of the doorway, leaning against it. It’s not much privacy, but it’s the best that he’s going to give me. Dr. Simm pats my shoulder gently before he too takes his leave. Once again, Bam and I are alone. I look to the skater and Bam’s eyes shift quietly from me to the door, silently asking if he should go as well. Chewing on the corner of my lip, I nod, telling him that he should go. Bam lets out what sounds like a soft sigh and approaches me.
“I’ll be right outside if you need me, baby,” he tells me and kisses the top of my head.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Soon I hear Bam’s soft footsteps fade away until I’m left alone in silence, save for the occasional beeping of the heart monitor. Very slowly, my eyes drift back towards the unconscious form of my friend. My fingers are still caressing the bare skin above his cast. Little goosebumps are forming on his arm and it causes me to half-smile. For as long as I’ve known him, his skin as always been a bit sensitive. Even if you barely touch him, he’ll burst out laughing as if he were being held down and tickled. My eyes follow the trail up his arm and over his collarbone until they land on the profile of his face.
“…Hello, kulta.”
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Third Person (POV)
Liimatainen…. That name kept repeating itself in the doctor’s mind as soon as Valo let it slip past his lips. Liimatianen. Dr. Simm knew that name. He knew it very well. It took the good doctor all he had in him not to let his emotions show in that room. His main concern had been attending to Mr. Valo and making sure that he didn’t cause himself any unnecessary strain. The second he heard that name, though, the doctor couldn’t get out of the room fast enough. He was just very thankful that the man had asked for a moment alone with his friend.
Looking over his shoulder, Dr. Simm makes sure that Margera and Novak are still standing outside the door. Margera is sitting in one of the chairs lining the hallway while Novak stands by the doorway like a guard dog. For a moment, he wonders if it is a good idea to leave the two alone, but he shakes off the thought. Ever since Margera was stabilized and set for release he had been quietly hanging around the hospital, or more specifically around Valo’s room. He hadn’t been causing any trouble, so the doctor didn’t feel that he should worry about him. Novak, on the other hand, was another story. Even before the incident with Jonne, he had been short tempered and troublesome with the nurses. After all of the chaos subsided he had been allowed back in on the condition that he behave himself. He was just going to have to trust the young man to keep his part of the agreement.
Feeling his chest tightening, Dr. Simm goes to the nurses’ station in order to take a few relaxing breaths. Only one nurse was at the station, but thankfully, she was too engrossed with her paperwork to pay any mind to the doctor. He knew that he shouldn’t be letting this overwhelm him right now, he had other patients that he needed to check in on, after all, but the doctor couldn’t help it. The name Liimatainen kept flashing in his mind. He knows that name very well…. It was the name on his son’s birth certificate.
Fourteen years ago, Harold Simm and his wife Lucy walked into an orphanage in Lower Manhattan. Years of failed pregnancy attempts and fertility treatments forced the couple into one final act of desperation in order to have a child. Though Harold was not comfortable with the thought of raising someone else’s child, he knew how much his wife longed to be a mother and he knew that he couldn’t deny her the privilege. At the time, the doctor had only just begun his Attending career at the hospital, so the couple hadn’t had the money to go through with a private adoption. The best they could do was to meet with the workers at the orphanage and decide which child they would call their own. That is where he and his wife first met the boy that would soon be their son.
For Lucy Simm, it had been love at first sight. Out of all of the children at the facility, one little boy stood out most to her. Ville had only been two years old at the time. He was a chubby little boy with pale blonde hair, sitting on the floor in his little blue overalls with a picture of a yellow duck sewn in on the front. The baby boy had been chewing on a red block while another blonde haired boy tried to stop him. Harold remembers that the baby cried when his little chew toy had been taken away and he thought for a moment that the older boy was picking on the baby. Then he and his wife watched as the older boy scooped the little one up in his arms and began singing an odd song to him. The moment the baby boy laughed, Lucy knew that she loved the little boy, that he would be the one.
Harold later learned that the older boy was the baby’s brother. The two were brought to the orphanage three months before because, not only had they lost their mother in a car accident the previous year, but their caretaker, their grandmother had passed away. This posed quite the problem for the couple. A social worker for the facility explained to them that it is encouraged not to separate siblings, especially ones so young. Seeing how the older brother was in a harder to place age group, it would be very beneficial for him to be taken along with his brother. The couple was torn at what they should do. Lucy was not opposed to the idea of taking the older boy as well, but Harold had to look at the reality of the situation. The couple barely had enough for the baby as it was, they couldn’t afford to take the child as well…. It would have to be the baby or nothing. So a few weeks later, Harold and Lucy signed the paperwork, and Ville Liimatainen became Andrew Simm.
The odds of this young man sharing his son’s last name and not being of some relation to him were astronomical. Wish all he might, there was no denying the plausible truth here. The young man lying in that bed was most likely his son’s biological brother…. Jonne Aaron Liimatainen, the boy they left behind.
“Dad?”
The softly spoken voice pulls the doctor from his deep thoughts. Looking up, he sees his son standing there watching him with a look of concern. Ville was dressed in his barista uniform of khaki pants and off white shirt. His blonde hair was pulled back in a tight bun, showing off his face. Harold could see the similarities between the two. The brows and jaw lines were similar, as well as the lips…
“Dad, are you ok?” The teen asks, stepping closer to his father.
“Y- yes. I’m fine,” the doctor nods. “What are you doing here?”
“I got off early at the coffee house. I know my shift doesn’t start for another hour, but I thought I’d come by early.”
“Oh…” That was a bit odd. This was the first shift Ville would have since the madness that went down several days before. The doctor was almost considering freeing him from his punishment of being an Orderly. Given the current events, though, it had slipped his mind.
“Well… I think I’m going to go ahead and get changed,” Ville informs, tugging on the strap of his backpack.
“Ville… you know, you can go home if you’d like,” the doctor offers. “You’ve been working hard here lately. It’s alright if you take one night off.”
The teen is mildly surprised by his father’s offer. His dad always had a strong work ethic and expected the same of his son. A night off was practically unheard of for him. He pauses and considers taking the chance to go home and relax. The doctor watches him silently as his son weighs his options, then he sees those blue eyes look beyond him, towards Jonne’s room.
“It’s ok, Dad,” he tells him. “I think I’ll be alright.”
“Are you sure?” He asks. “After what happened, I’ll understand if you want to take a bit more time.”
“It’s ok,” he says again, still looking towards Jonne’s room. “I’ll stay, Dad.”
All the time he’s speaking to his father, the teen’s eyes are looking past him. The doctor can see that his gaze is focused on the hallway behind him, and he knows that there is probably only one thing on his son’s mind. Now that he thinks about it, ever since he first showed the damaged man to Ville, his son had been making up any excuse he could to go by the man’s room, as if he needed to watch over him. It was almost as if he were drawn to the room, but the doctor never understood why. It’s as if there was some primal instinct calling Ville to that room, telling him something that he didn’t know yet.
“Well, I’m going to go ahead and get changed,” Ville informs. His father’s silence and the glazed over look in his eyes was beginning to bother him. He thinks that its time that his father take a much needed vacation.
The teen sidesteps around his father and heads off towards the direction of the men’s changing room. He knows that his shift doesn’t start for a little while longer, but it seemed like a better alternative than just sitting around and doing nothing. The teen makes it about ten steps away when he feels a warm hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he sees his father standing behind him, his mouth open as if he’s trying to say something.
“Dad-”
The teen is cut off when his father suddenly pulls him into a tight hug, knocking the wind out of him. Confused, the teen stands completely still as his father squeezes him gently. He seriously has no idea what is going on here.
“Um… Dad?”
The doctor doesn’t let go of his son, but only grips him tighter. The man was having an unusual rush of emotion and he knew that it would overwhelm him if he didn’t let it out. At the moment, too many things are going through his mind to listen to Ville’s complaints that he’s crushing him. He’s thinking back to the moment when he held Ville for the first time, he’s thinking about the boy’s first steps and words, about his first day of school. He’s thinking about the wonderful young man his son has become and how is so proud of him. Lastly, he’s thinking about how very different his son’s life could have been. He’s thinking about the life that he and his wife saved him from… the life that Jonne had.
“I love you, Ville,” he says softly to his son.
“I love you too, Dad,” the teen replies, hugging his father back with one arm.
“I’m very proud of you, you know that right?”
Confused, Ville pulls out of his father’s grasp and stands back to look at him. “Are you alright, Dad?”
“No…,” he admits. “No I’m not.”
“Dad, what’s wrong?”
“…We need to talk.”
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Sorry for having to do this again. You know the drill
comments are love ^_^
Summary: my personal spin on the movie "Pretty Woman". Ville is a young whore, trapped and searching for his saviour
Pairing: various, but mostly focused on Vam. there will be some surprise guests though
Disclaimer: i own nothing (except this story) and no one. please don't sue!
A/N: Last chapter, darlings. Once again, it must be broken up, which sucks because I just barely went over the limit with this one. Sorry for clogging the newsfeed :/
Previous Chapter: Chapter 34b
Translations (got them from the internet, forgive me if they’re wrong):
Mitä helvettiä- What the hell
Chapter 35
Ville (POV)
“…-alo…signs of…-provement.”
“How long… think he’ll… -ake up.”
There are the sound of muddled voices coming from around me, though I cannot point out the source. Everything feels weird right now. I feel heavy, yet my mind feels light, as if I could float away at any moment. Something feels as if it’s weighing me down, though, like an anchor tied to me. I don’t feel as warm anymore. The heat around me is comfortable now rather than the unbearable temperature it was before, and I don’t feel the sheen of sweat anymore. In fact, I feel rather comfortable right now. This definitely isn’t how I remember my prison being…. Where am I?
“Almost didn’t…-atch…infection in time.”
Who is speaking? More importantly, why can’t I hear any screaming? The last few things I remember were the sounds of voices screaming in the distance. Well that and unimaginable pain. All of it is gone now. I don’t feel anymore pain and everything around me is silent, save for the mumbled voices in the distance. I remember being touched softly by something and smiling, but everything afterwards is a blank…. D- did I die? Did my body finally give out? I don’t know. The weighted down feeling makes me doubt it, but I don’t feel pain. If I had died, that would mean I was free from the pain.
Soon I realize that my eyes are closed. My lids feel heavy as I struggle to open them. When I manage to crack open the lids, a blinding white light shines through my lashes and I have to close them again. A blinding white light and I’m free from all pain; yep, I’m dead. This must be the place that Momma told me about when I was little. This is the place where good people go when they die. Here, there will be no more sadness or hurt. I can finally be at peace.
“Mr… -alo.”
The muddled voice is closer to me this time. The baritone voice sounds as if it’s right in my ear. It’s not really unpleasant. In fact, it is almost soothing. The voice continues to speak words I can’t understand as I feel something touching me. A soft pressure trails from my cheek, up to my temple and over to my brow. The sensation almost feels nice, until my eyelid is suddenly pulled open and an even brighter light shines into my eye, scorching my retina.
“Mitä helvettiä?” I groan and try to pull away from the light.
Fingertips on my jaw line gently tilt my head back over to the source of the light as that deep voice speaks once more.
“Mr. Valo.” I can make it out a bit more clearly now. “Mr. Valo, can you hear me?”
Of course I can hear you. My lips part to inform the mysterious voice of this, but no sound escapes from me. I can’t make my vocal chords form the words I need.
“Mr. Valo, I need you to open your eyes. Can you do that for me?”
I try to nod, but I don’t know whether I actually managed to move or not. All of my strength is now dedicated to opening my eyes to more than a peek. The bright light comes once more through my thick lashes, but the pain from it is dulled now. After a moment, my lashes are no longer obstructing my vision, but I can still only see light and a silhouette of a figure above me. Normally I would be frightened by such a thing, but it doesn’t scare me now. With this soothing voice speaking to me and the pain for once absent from my body, everything seems peaceful.
“Good, Mr. Valo,” the figure tells me. The words are accompanied by a hand smoothing back the hair on my forehead. The small motion actually feels wonderful right now, after spending so long in darkness and being consumed by hurt.
“You’re doing great,” it continues. “You’re doing good.”
I have to blink my eyes a few times, but soon the silhouette of the figure above me becomes clearer. The first thing I can make out are warm toffee colored eyes staring down gently at me. The owner of the eyes continues to stroke my hair back as I struggle to focus my vision. After a few minutes, I can see the soft wrinkles at the corner of the person’s eyes, the stubble growing in around his jaw line, and the salt and pepper coloring of his hair. The man’s lips are stretched into a fatigued smile as he looks down on me kindly. The man seems nice, but not quite how I pictured an angel to look. Am I even dead, though?
“Welcome back, Mr. Valo?”
Back? Back from where? Where the hell am I, for that matter?
“Who…”
I try to speak, but it feels as if there are shards of glass in my throat. All I can manage is that whispered word before my vocal chords give out. Thankfully, the man above me seems to understand.
“I’m Dr. Simm,” he tells me softly. “You’re in Bellevue Hospital.”
Well, that answers that question; I’m alive…. How the hell am I alive? How did I get here? The only people who knew where I was kept away were Viggo, those people who ran the torture chamber, and Andreas. Did Andy tell the police where I was? No… he wouldn’t have come for me alone then. I sincerely doubt that Viggo or that Bauer man would have brought me to the hospital. What the fuck happened to me?
“You’ve been here for and asleep for about three days, Mr. Valo,” the doctor tells me, as if he sensed my thoughts. “The wounds inflicted on your wrist set off what is known as streptococcal toxic shock syndrome. It’s a potentially fatal illness caused by a bacterial toxin. Now the wounds on your wrist were teeth marks. Was the bite self-inflicted?”
The doctor’s explanation is confusing right now, but I’m trying my best to understand. I nod to his question and his eyes flash a look of both concern and mild disappointment.
“Well, Mr. Valo, when you tore through your skin, your wrist became infected with the bacteria Streptococcus aureus, and the shoddy suture job done by your captors didn’t help matters. When you were brought in, you had many of the more severe symptoms, such as a high body temperature, low blood pressure, a rash on your palms, and unfortunately… your left kidney went into renal failure.”
“What…”
I can’t process what he just said. The fever I was pretty well aware of, but the rest was confusing me. My kidney failed!?
“Your left kidney shut down,” he repeats in a somber tone. “Although this may seem horrifying, Mr. Valo, I assure you that you actually very lucky that we caught this before you entered complete renal failure.”
“W- what’s going… to happen to me?” I manage to croak out. The terror I’m feeling from the situation has made me found my voice. I still don’t know how I survived or escaped from that dungeon, but I don’t want to have the irony of dying here in this hospital.
“We’ve drained the abscess from your wrist and you’re currently being given a very effective antibiotic treatment,” he smiles. It’s not as comforting as before.
“W- what about my kidney?”
“Many people lead normal lives with just one, Mr. Valo,” he assures. “I promise, you have more than enough renal tissue in one to survive. As long as this antibiotic treatment is successful, you should be ready to go in two to three weeks. You are a very lucky man, Mr. Valo.”
Lucky? I’m fortunate to be alive right now, yes, but I don’t think I would go as far to say ‘lucky.’ After all, look at all that has happened. I’ve been tortured, abused, abandoned, and the only person who cared enough to try to save me was murdered before my eyes. I’m alive and happy to be so, but the feeling is bittersweet. What will there be for me now?
“Mr. Valo,” a new voice pipes up. Looking over the doctor’s shoulder, I see a woman with short brown hair standing off to the side. “I’m Detective Benson. If you’re up to it, I’d like to ask you a few questions.”
“I don’t think Mr. Valo can help you right now,” the doctor tells her.
“It would only take a few minutes,” she tells him.
“Mr. Valo needs rest now, Detective,” he tells her sternly. “It’ll be a few days before he can answer any of your questions.”
I know that the doctor is just looking out for me, but I don’t like being spoken about as if I’m not here. Viggo would do that too often…. Viggo. I don’t want to think about that monster, but I can’t stop my thoughts from straying there. What happened? Did someone finally catch him? Well, obviously someone did if there is a police officer here. How though? Viggo is always so careful and controlled. I’m not complaining about anything, but I’m just wondering what the hell happened…. A thought occurs to me suddenly that perhaps Viggo hadn’t been caught. Perhaps someone had just discovered the dungeon, but not the man who had put me there. What if he was free right now!?
“Where’s Viggo!?” I shout in a hoarse voice, my throat burning from it. The woman looks to me curiously and takes a cautious step towards my bedside.
“Ville-”
“Where is he!?” I demand to know. If that bastard was still free, then he may be on his was here now. He’ll finish what he started. I have to warn them.
“Relax, Ville,” she tells me in a hushed tone. “Viggo has been arrested.”
“…A- arrested?” I repeat in a disbelieving tone.
“Yes,” she nods. “He’s been arrested. He’ll never be able to hurt you again.”
…I don’t believe it. I mean, I want to believe it. I want to believe that every word this woman has said is true. It may be true. Viggo may indeed be locked up now, but there still remains in me that instinctual fear. Viggo Mortensen has for years been the monster hiding under my bed at night, the whisper in the dark, and the terror knocking at my door. To think that someone could actually stop him is unimaginable. So they may have stopped him now, but Viggo is my immortal fear…. He’ll always be there, inside my mind.
“Ville, would you like me to call someone for you. Your family, perhaps? We’ve been trying to get into contact with them.”
My family?
“No!” I say sternly, shaking my head at the woman.
“Ville, I’m sure that they would love to see you again and be here for you. You haven’t seen them in some time.”
“I don’t care,” I tell her. “Don’t call them.”
“…Why not?” She asks, tilting her head to the side in confusion.
‘Why not?’ What a stupid question. The first time I saw Jesse again after so many years had been one of the worst moments of my life. Though it did turn out for the best in the end, it had been terrible. I had never felt so much shame and anger before. Now, after all that has happened, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look any of them in the eyes again. The look on Momma’s face if she knew…. Just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes. I can’t let them see me like this, not now. I can’t let Daddy know of the things I have done. When I made that promise to Jesse, I had thought that I would be able to change things on my terms, that I could make everything better. But now….
“Just please,” I whisper as a tear falls from the corner of my eye, “please don’t call them. Please.”
“Ville-”
“I’m an adult and it’s my choice,” I cut her off. “Just please… don’t make them see me like this.”
The woman doesn’t say anything more. Her brown eyes shift downwards and she gives me a small nod before turning away. I suppose that she has decided to heed the doctor’s words and let me be, but I have a feeling she’ll be back. The woman exit’s the room and the doctor tells me to rest before following her out, leaving me alone once more. In my solitude, I have time to reflect now on all that has happened. I still don’t fully understand why I’m alive. I should have died, many times during my capture-- hell, I should have died many times before then. Why was I spared then? What value is there in me that I should be granted this second chance on life? After all, I’m just a whore.
The biggest question I should be thinking of now is, where do I go from here? Once I’m released from this hospital I’ll be given a second chance on life. What kind of life will I have, though? I have no home, no friends, I can’t stand the shame of all that I’ve done, and the only skill I’ve acquired over the years is the ability to spread my legs for the right price. There is nothing for me out there. So, again, why was I spared?
“You’re awake.”
I cut my eyes towards the sudden voice and gasp when I see a person standing in the doorway. There is a man with medium length, strawberry blonde hair and a full beard staring at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. The man takes a step into the room and on instinct, I try to shrink away from him. I don’t know who the hell this person is or what they’re doing here. For all I know, this could be one of Viggo’s men. The person stops when he notices my frightened body language and holds a hand up.
“Hey, relax,” he tells me calmly. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“W- who are you?” I ask, still trying to shift away from him.
“I’m Ryan. Ryan Dunn,” he introduces.
“What are you doing here?”
“It’s ok,” he assures. “I’m a friend of Bam.”
Bam…. Bam knows that I’m here? How could he know? When I last saw him, I told him that I never wanted to see him again. At the time I had meant it. What Bam did to me hurt worse than he’ll ever truly know. Given the events that followed, though, I’ve learned that there are worse things in the world than lying to the person you care about. I’m angry with Bam… but a part of me still loves him. The situation with him has left me confused, hurt, and angry. I don’t know whether our time together was real or if it was all some bit for his show. I don’t regret my time with him, though. Real or not, he made me feel more loved than I ever had before and I’ll always be grateful to him for that.
“Mind if I sit down?” He asks, gesturing to the chair near the bed. “It’s been a rough week.”
“G- go ahead,” I nod. I watch the man carefully as he plops himself down into the seat. He lets out a loud contented sigh as he stretches his arms over his head.
“God, it feels good to sit down,” he says, yawning for emphasis. “Been a hell of a week. I can’t really remember the last time I showered. Sorry if you can smell me.”
“Um… not to be rude, but w- why are you here?”
“I just thought I should check up on you. The doctors said that you would be knocked out for a while. Just my luck, though, I come back from the cafeteria and you’re awake.”
Ryan gives me a half-hearted smile, but I can’t really return it. He didn’t answer my question, but rather went around it. Why was he here? He said that he was a friend of Bam, but why wouldn’t Bam just come here himself?
“We should probably talk,” he sighs, looking away from me.
“…About what?”
“About everything that’s gone on,” he answers. “A lot of people have gotten hurt.”
“W- what do you mean?”
Ryan sighs heavily and rubs his forehead before his glance returns to me. “When Bam came home he holed himself up in his house for days. He wouldn’t talk to anyone, wouldn’t let anyone come over…. He told me about what happened between you two and the fight you guys had. He was really fucking hurt. Worse than I’ve ever seen him.”
“…H- he really hurt me,” I tell him, feeling a little defensive.
“I’m sure he did,” he nods. “Bam’s always been a bit of an asshole, but he feels pain like anyone else. He loves like any other person. That’s why he drove back here in the middle of the night when he heard that you were missing.”
“H- he did?”
“Yeah…. He’s been through absolute hell since then. The police took him, thinking that he was responsible for what happened to you. Of course, your pimp kind of set him up to take the fall. He got arrested for assaulting the asshole. The fucker took him,” Ryan’s breath hitches as he speaks. “He beat him.”
“V… Viggo hurt Bam?” The tears are welling up in my eyes again. When Ryan nods, they begin to spill down my cheeks. It’s all my fault. Viggo hurt Bam because of me, because I had loved him. It’s not fair. Bam didn’t deserve to suffer because of me.
“He had some dick cop take him from jail,” Ryan continues. “The guy threw him down the stairs and broke his wrist and two of his ribs. The guy took him to Viggo who then proceeded to beat the shit out of him….”
“…I- is he…?” I can’t bring myself to finish the question. I don’t think that I could live knowing that Viggo killed Bam.
“…The police got there just in time,” Ryan sighs and another wave of tears flow from my eyes. Thank you, God! “The bastard tried to strangle him in front of you, but apparently you were unconscious.”
“W- what?” My eyes widen from the shock. “H- he tried to kill him in front of me?”
“Yeah,” he nods sadly. “When the cops found him, Bam wasn’t breathing…. I almost lost my best friend.”
“I… I’m so sorry,” I cry with a hiccup in my voice. “I- it’s my fault…. B- Bam should have never been involved.”
“I… I know you’re sorry,” he said, letting out a heavy breath. “And I know you’ve been through a hell of a lot, probably worse shit than I could ever imagine… but you’ve gotta understand that I’m mad. I’m pissed about the whole situation. Bam has been my best friend since I was fifteen. Those hours when he was gone and I didn’t know what happened to him were the worst of my life. Then he almost died….”
The man turns away from me and I can see that he’s trying his best not to cry. I understand that he’s angry, and to be honest he has every right to be upset. It’s my fault that Bam got involved in this mess, he has every right to hate me.
“I- I almost had to call his mother and explain why her son was gone. I would have had to tell her that her son put his life in danger over someone he barely knew.”
“…I never asked him to come after me,” I whisper.
“I know you didn’t,” he nods. “From what Bam told me, he was the one who chased after you through this whole thing.”
“S- so why are you telling me this?” I ask as I try to get my breathing back under control.
“I just thought that you should know,” he answers. “I felt that you deserved to know the truth. I know that you were mad at Bam and on some level you probably blame him for this… but he went through hell to find you. He cares about you… just remember that.”
Before I can think to say anything else, Ryan gets up from the chair and heads towards the exit. My eyes follow him as he steps out of my doorway. He stops a few steps outside the door and looks as if he’s talking to someone. The next thing I hear is a shout and soon another body is running into my room. It wasn’t until the person stopped before my bed that I recognized who it was.
“Ville…” Bam’s voice is barely above a whisper.
Neither of us speak for some time afterwards, but rather we just stare each other down. Bam looks like hell. His tanned skin is covered in various shade of ugly bruises, ranging from a sickly yellow to dark purple. His left eye is swollen almost completely shut and there are plastic stitching on his right brow. On his neck are more of those ugly bruises, but they’re lines that are evenly spaced; marks from Viggo’s fingers. The bastard tried to strangle Bam the way he’s done to me so many times before. That seems to be his favorite way of taking a life…. I suppose he likes to watch all of the emotion flicker in a person’s eyes right before they die. Stop it! I don’t want to think of him, not now.
“V- Ville,” Bam says my name again as he takes a small, cautious step forward. His voice is more hoarse than my own. No doubt a result of the attempted strangulation. The skater’s blue eye is misting as he looks down towards me. I wipe away another tear when I see him chew on the corner of his trembling lower lip.
“Bam… I-”
The skater doesn’t give me a chance to say how sorry I am for everything. Before I can say a word, strong arms wrap around me, pulling me unbelievably close to his warm, hard chest. The force of his grasp is enough to make us both wince from the pain, but he doesn’t let go of me. Truth be told, I don’t want him to let go. He puts his head on my shoulder and soon I hear his quiet sobbing in my ears. Squeezing my eyes shut tightly to prevent more tears, I gingerly wrap my arms around him and run my fingers gently up and down his spine. His body is shaking with the force of his sobs. I know, kulta…. I know.
“God, Ville,” he quietly hisses. “I- I didn’t know if you were going to wake up…. The doctor said y-you were really sick.”
“Shh…,” I whisper in his ear. “I’m alright, Bammie. I’m alright.”
The skater pulls back enough so that we’re looking each other in the eye. With the back of his hand he wipes away a tear falling from his bright blue eye and he gives me a wide smile. It felt good to see his smile again, so good that I couldn’t help but return the gesture. Wanting to touch him more, I gently cup his cheek. The stubble of his beard pricks at my skin, but it just felt so good to touch his soft skin again. The smile slowly fades from his lips and his hand raises to wrap around mine.
“Ville… I am so sorry,” he says softly. “I am so fucking sorry…. All of this is my fault.”
“No, Bam,” I shake my head. “It’s mine. I-”
“No!” He says so forcefully that it causes me to jump. “Don’t you dare blame yourself. You did nothing wrong, no matter what anyone says. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t left you like I did, if I hadn’t chased after you to begin with….”
The skater looks down as he releases another shaky sob. He feels as if the whole situation is his fault? No, it’s not…. Not completely. Bam didn’t know what would happen to me. He couldn’t control what some psychopath would do. Bam couldn’t have known what Viggo would do to me. All he did was care about me, he shouldn’t apologize for that. If anything, I’m the one who should be begging his forgiveness. I dragged him into this mess and nearly got him killed. By all rights he should hate me… but he doesn’t. In fact-
“You came for me,” I say aloud. Bam’s eyes flash back up to me and he looks to me curiously. “You came for me,” I repeat, “that’s all that matters.”
“I should have never left.”
“Bam… don’t blame yourself, please. I’m the one who told you to go…. It doesn’t matter, though. I- I thought that everyone abandoned me, but you tried to find me. That’s all that matters.”
“I would never abandon you,” he swears, kissing my palm. “I’m so sorry that I left. As soon as I saw that fucking magazine article I should have come and found you. I just…. I just didn’t think you wanted to see me anymore and-- Fuck! I just didn’t stop and think!”
Bam lets go of my hand suddenly and begins to pound at his forehead with the heel of his palm. He does this repeatedly, saying over and over again how stupid he is. Worried that he’s going to hurt himself even more I grab hold of his wrist as tightly as I can and pull it away.
“Bam, stop it!”
“But I-”
“Stop it,” I tell him again, more softly this time. “Just stop, please. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. It’s over now…. It’s over.”
The skater’s breathing is still fuming, but he looks as if he’s trying to calm down for my sake. He’s really beating himself up over this, isn’t he? I wish he wouldn’t do that. Normally I would be doing the same, but whatever medication that the doctors have put in me seem to be keeping me mellow. All I am now is just sad and tired. I’m happy to be alive, but I’m sad for all that has happened. I’m sad of what this has all done to Bam…. I’m sad for all that I have lost.
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes again with a shaky breath. “I shouldn’t be trying to make this about me. How are you? How do you feel?”
“I… I feel as good as I can, I suppose,” I answer. “The doctor said that the infection in my arm would have killed me if the police didn’t find me when they did. I lost a kidney.”
“…Yeah,” he nods. “One of the nurses told me about that…. When I saw you laying on that floor and you wouldn’t wake up-- I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life.”
Bam’s voice dissolves into another sob. The heartache in his voice causes the tears to well up in my eyes once more. I’m so tired of crying, but it can’t be helped. The tears were mixtures of joy, relief, and overwhelming pain. We were both just so happy to be alive, but we were still frightened over what could have been. Biting my lower lip to keep it from trembling, I take his hand in mine once more. His warm hand squeezes mine gratefully and he gives me a sort of half-smile when he can manage to look at me again.
“H- how did the police know where to find me anyway?” I ask once I see that his chest has stopped shaking. I’m actually very curious to this answer. Viggo always kept his secrets carefully guarded. There is no way that they would have just stumbled upon it by coincidence
“I don’t know all of the details, but from what I’ve heard, one of Viggo’s guys sold him out.”
“Someone actually had the balls to betray him?” I ask, completely astonished. “Who was it?”
“I don’t know. Something starting with an ‘E.’”
“…E- Emil?”
“Yeah, I think that was it,” he nods. “You know him?”
I don’t answer Bam at first. My jaw was dropped in shock when he confirmed that it had been Emil. I didn’t know the man well, but he had always seemed like a strong worker for Viggo. He did whatever the other man asked of him, no matter what, and he never really seemed to care about anyone else. So why would he tell them where I was? The memory of dark blue eyes and painted ruby lips flash through my mind, and suddenly I remember the night Andreas tried to free me. My Andy was gunned down for trying to save me. From what I remember, he and Emil had been good friends…. He must have found out what happened to him.
“Y- yeah,” I finally say, giving a slight nod. “I- I knew him. He was a friend of Andreas.”
“I- I heard about what happened to him,” Bam whispers. “I’m sorry…. I know he was your friend.”
“Bam, please,” I sigh, wiping away another stray tear. “…I don’t want to talk about him right now.”
I don’t want Bam to know what Andreas tried to do for me. I don’t want him to know that my Swede was murdered before my eyes. And I really don’t want to have to explain looking my friend in the eyes as the light left him. That’s an image that I am going to carry with me forever. I don’t need to burden him with it as well.
“Sorry,” he whispers. “Its just that… I know that you cared about him. And I know that he really cared about you.”
“Y-yeah,” I nod, sighing heavily. “He really did…. But please, Bam, I can’t talk about him right now.”
“Alright,” he nods. “…T- there are some other things we need to talk about.”
“Like what?”
“There’s no easy way to say this, but… i- it’s about Jonne.”
My body visibly tenses at the sound of my former friend’s name. I suppose that he’s learned about what Jonne did then? He must think that I don’t know yet. I do, though. That night, Viggo made it all to clear about what Jonne had done to me. My best friend sold me out. For what reasons, I’m not sure of yet, but in the end it doesn’t matter. I think out of everything I’ve been through-- all of the sickness and pain-- his betrayal hurts the most. Jonne and I were together for eight years and he had always been the person I could count on for anything. We were brothers. I loved him more than anything.
“I- I know,” I say with a shaky breath, my eyes casting downwards. In my time locked away, I tried my best to come to terms with what Jonne did. It still hurts, but I can’t let myself cry over it anymore. “V-Viggo told me.”
“He did?” Bam asks softly. I nod in return.
“That day we had the fight and he stormed out…. Viggo wanted to see me soon after a- and he told me. He knew about the money I had hidden away. H- he said that Jonne told him,” I explain, biting down so hard on my lower lip that I fear it will start to bleed.
“That son of a bitch!” Bam exclaims. “Why would he-- That fucking cocksucker!”
“Bam, please,” I sigh. “I know what Jonne did was terrible… but he was so angry with me. I guess he just wanted to be with Novak so much that-”
“Ville, stop!” Bam puts his hand over my mouth to cut off my words. “Whatever he told you, it wasn’t true.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, removing Bam’s hand.
“Ville… Jonne didn’t sell you out. Bill did.”
“…W- what?” My jaw drops open from the shock of his words. “What are you saying?”
“It wasn’t Jonne who snitched on you, it was Bill,” he repeats. Bill?
“W- why would he do that?” I am truly stunned by this admission. It wasn’t my best friend who sold me out, but rather my teenage ward. I don’t know whether to be relieved or not, though. Why would Bill do that? Why would he want to hurt me like that? Jonne and I took him in with open arms and cared for him like he was a younger brother. To think that he would turn on us like that is unbelievable…. Then again, we should have been more wary. Bill wasn’t with us for too long, after all. Whatever Viggo offered him must have been too tempting to ignore.
“I don’t know,” he says sadly. “A- Andreas said that he had his reasons, but I swear, if I ever see that little bastard’s face again I’ll gut him,” he growls.
“S- so where is Jonne?” I ask. I’m overwhelmed with conflicting emotions right now. I’m angry and hurt by the news of Bill’s betrayal, but at the same time, I’m so elated to know that it wasn’t Jonne. My best friend didn’t hurt me, even though I was so cruel to him…. Where is he now, though? He should be in here, holding my hand and allowing me to cry on his shoulder.
Bam’s blue eyes dart away from me as he takes in a deep breath. His lips part briefly, as if he’s about to say something, but they’re quick to close again. My heart rate begins to quicken as the skater sits there, silently staring at the floor. What’s wrong? Why isn’t he saying anything?
“Bam,” I touch his shoulder gently, but he still won’t look at me. “Bam… where is Jonne?”
“Ville, I-”
“Where is he, Bam?” I ask, my voice giving away my growing panic. Bam still won’t turn to face me. “Look at me, Bam! Where is Jonne!?”
When the skater finally does look in my direction again I see that the whites of his eyes are tinged red and there is the shimmering mark of a tear trail on his cheek. In this moment, I felt a cold wave of fear wash over me…. No. It can’t be! Jonne has to be alright, he has to! I couldn’t have lost my best friend…. Please.
“Ville…. Something happened.”
“No…,” I whimper, my face crumbles immediately.
“A couple of days after you went missing, Jonne went to the cops,” Bam pauses to wipe his sniffling nose. “A few of Viggo’s guys cornered him and they…”
“No,” I cry, burying my face in my hands. Viggo hurt Jonne. The monster hurt my Jonne! How could he? Jonne is one of the sweetest, most beautiful souls ever to have lived. To hurt someone so sweet and innocent…
“Novak found him,” he continues. “They brought him here.”
“Is he alright!?” I ask, my voice full of hope. When Bam doesn’t answer me right away, all of that hope was shattered.
“H- he didn’t wake up when they brought him here. Then, a few days ago, that guy Emil came here and he… tried to smother him.”
“…Is he-”
I can’t bring myself to even finish that question. I don’t want to think it. The thought of a world without my Jonne is too horrifying to imagine. The man has been the most important person in my life from the moment we met. He’s the most wonderful, loving person anyone could know…. A world without him is one too bleak to bear.
“The doctors managed to revive him, but he hasn’t woken up yet,” the skater finishes with a whisper. “No one will tell me anything else.”
Tears begin to cascade from my eyes and my nose is becoming stuffy. I don’t care, though, because it hurts so much. Jonne is alive, and for that I am truly thankful, but he’s hurt so badly. He tried to go to the police to find me and Viggo tried to kill him for it. Why? Why does everyone I love have to get hurt because of me!?
“I- I want to see him,” I sob.
“I don’t know if they’ll-”
“I want to see him!” I scream.
When Bam doesn’t move, I sit up straight in the bed and move to get up. My arms are weak, making my body shake as I grip the edges of the bed. The IV in my arm is tugging and stinging me as I struggle, but I don’t let it deter me. Snapping out of whatever thought he was lost in, Bam leans forward and tries to gently push me back against the bed.
“Baby, you have to stop.”
“Let me go!” I scream. I push at the skater’s chest, but I’m too weak to even move him an inch. “Get the fuck off of me!”
“Ville, you have to calm down!”
“Get off of me!”
“What the hell is going on in here!?”
Bam and I both look over his shoulder to see Dr. Simm and a frightened looking nurse running into the room. Our screaming must have alerted them. While Bam is distracted, I shake him off of me and move to pull out my IV. The doctor is too busy grabbing hold of Bam, but the nurse notices what I’m doing. She rushes over to me and, with a surprisingly strong grip, takes hold of my hand.
“Doctor, we’re going to have to restrain him,” the nurse informs with an annoyed tone. Dr. Simm isn’t really paying attention to her, though. He’s too busy pinning Bam to the wall. I don’t know why he’s using such force, but the doctor has Bam in a completely submissive hold.
“Doctor!” The nurse calls. Dr. Simm looks back towards the nurse and I, but his hold remains on Bam.
“What was going on in here?” He demands to know.
“I’m trying to get out of this damn bed,” I say through panting breaths, wiping away a few falling tears. “Bam was trying to stop me.”
“He tried to pull out his IV, Doctor,” the nurse adds.
The doctor’s features seem to relax slightly and he releases his hold on Bam. “I apologize, Mr. Margera. Given what’s happened around here in the past few days, we can’t take any chances.”
“I- its alright,” Bam tells him, shaking out his muscles.
“Mr. Valo,” the doctor turns to me, “why exactly are you trying to take out your IV?”
“I- I need to get out of this bed,” I say with a hiccup. “I need to see Jonne.”
“Oh… I see,” the doctor replies with a solemn voice. “Mr. Valo, I don’t think that you’re in the right condition to be moved right now. You’ve just been through major surgery and you’re still fighting the infection. You need rest right now.”
“Please!” I cry. “I have to see Jonne. Please let me see him, please!”
“Mr. Valo-”
“Please!” I scream, cutting him off. “Please… after everything I’ve been through, at least give me that.”
The doctor just looks at me for a long time. More tears flow, blurring my vision, so I can’t read the emotions on his features. Through my tears, I’m silently pleading to be allowed to see my friend. After everything that has happened, I need him now more than ever. I need to hold his hand, I need to see his angelic face, I need to know that he’s still here with me, even though he’s not. I need my Jonne. I’m just praying that the doctor can see that.
“Should I restrain him, Doctor?” The nurse asks, breaking the silence.
“…No,” he says with a heavy sigh. The doctor rubs his temple lightly before coming over to my bedside. “I’ll make a deal with you Mr. Valo. If you’ll calm down and try to rest, then we’ll take you to see Jonne. If you don’t, though, then we’re going to have to sedate you.”
“H- how long?”
“Give us a few hours.”
“Hours!?” I shout. “Why can’t I see him now!?”
“Mr. Valo, like I said before, you’ve gone through major surgery and your body is still weak. You need rest, and lots of it. It’s dangerous for you to be even exerting yourself this much,” he explains. “I’ll do everything that I can to help you, but you’re going to have to meet me half-way here, Ville.”
What can I say to that? The answer is, absolutely nothing. I could try to put up a struggle and fight my way to Jonne, but if even the nurse is capable of restraining me right now, then I wouldn’t stand much of a chance against a team of doctors, or whoever the hell else they have out there. They’ll just end up tying me to the bed and then I’ll never get to see Jonne.
“F- fine,” I nod.
“Alright, Mr. Valo…. Give us a few hours and we’ll let you see him.”
With that, the doctor gives the nurse a look and the woman reluctantly lets go of my arm. The two quietly exit the room, leaving Bam and I alone once more. The skater is looking at me, but I can’t stand to be under his gaze right now. Instead, I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my head on my crossed arms. With this position, I can pretend that Bam isn’t here, that he can’t see my body shaking with the force of my sobbing, that he can’t hear my mumbled cries. I’m crying in a distorted mixture of Finnish and English, praying to God to spare my friend…. I honestly don’t think I could go on without him.
A warm hand gently touches my back, the fingers trailing slowly up and down my spine. Bam is trying to comfort me the best he knows how, but I don’t think it’s going to work this time.
“You don’t have to hide it,” he says softly. “You can cry in front of me if you need to.”
“…B- Bam,” I say his name in a barely audible whisper, “please… don’t talk to me right now.”
“D-do you want me to leave?”
I shake my head at his question and his fingers continue to run lightly over my back. I don’t want him to go, I don’t want to be alone… but I don’t want to look at him or hear him right now. All I want is Jonne.
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The four hours of waiting were perhaps the worst of my life. All I could do was sit in my bed and cry. I cried until I was gasping for air and my eyes dried up. I never thought that anything could hurt this badly. Bam stayed with me the whole time. We didn’t exchange a single word during those four hours, but he remained by my side, stroking my skin until his fingers grew tired. He didn’t have to stay with me the whole time, I’m sure that he had other things that he needed to do, but I’m glad he didn’t leave me.
When Dr. Simm finally returned, my heart began to beat wildly in my chest. I couldn’t hold back the anxiousness at seeing my friend. The doctor told me that when I saw him, I shouldn’t worry and I should try my best to stay relaxed. I nodded and told him that I would try, but I knew that I most likely wouldn’t be able to keep that promise. The doctor and a few nurses helped me into a wheelchair and connected me to a portable IV. I was surprised when the doctor himself actually began to wheel me from my room and down the hall. My skater walked closely behind us, perfectly content with staying at my side throughout the whole thing.
The closer we got to Jonne’s room, the more frightened I became. I didn’t know what to expect and I think that’s what scared me the most. Will Jonne look as he always does when he’s sleeping, or will his body be a mangled shell? I know what kind of damage Viggo’s men are capable of inflicting, and to be honest, it is a wonder as to why Jonne is alive at all. I think I know why that is, though. When Bam said that it had been Emil who tried to smother Jonne, I knew that it had to have been him who was ordered to beat Jonne in the first place. If Emil was involved with that, then that most likely meant Andreas was there as well…. Andy most likely saved his life. I’ll always love that big, beautiful Swedish oaf for that.
The doctor pauses suddenly in front of a room that strangely has no door. Gripping the armrests of the wheelchair, I hold my breath as the doctor slowly inches me into the room. The dim light illuminating from a bedside lamp is all the light that is coming from this room, though I can see why. Bam’s friend and Jonne’s lover, Novak, is asleep on the large sofa chair next to the window. The man looks haggard as hell. His clothes are dirty, there are cuts on what I can see of his face, and it seems as if he has not shaved in several days. All thoughts of him are quickly forgotten, though, as soon as my eyes land on the figure on the bed.
I have to put my hand over my mouth to hide my shocked gasp. Again, I don’t know what I was expecting to see. I think a part of me hoped that he would just be lying here like a little Sleeping Beauty, peaceful and serene, just waiting for the spell to break. The reality is always far worse, though. What I’m looking at now is the shell of my best friend; a broken body covered in shades of bruises, stitch work, and bandage that is being kept alive by the tube down his throat.
“Jonne!” His name escapes my in a gasp of air. Right now I want nothing more than to go over and take him in my arms, but the doctor’s strong hand on my shoulder prevents it.
“Keep calm, Mr. Valo,” he says softly. “Getting hysterical wouldn’t be good for you, and it certainly won’t help your friend.”
“I- I’m sorry,” I hiccup. I’m not really sorry for being upset, but I suppose it’s what the doctor wants to hear. Taking deep breaths, I try to remain calm, or at least make it look as if I were calm. “C- can I touch him?”
The doctor doesn’t say anything, but my chair begins to move closer towards the bed. My lip quivers uncontrollably as I look on at the pitiful sight of my friend. The doctor stops me once I’m directly at his bedside. With trembling hands, I gently reach out and touch Jonne’s smooth skin above the cast on his arm. My fingers trace over the fading yellow bruise on his otherwise pale skin. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jonne’s skin this light before. Jonne has always been fair-skinned, like myself, but it always held the slightest tint of tan coloring, like a drop of toffee in a cup of cream. Now the skin is lighter than my own, holding a sickly yellow tint. Looking up at his face, I see that there are healing scratches and more fading bruises. His cheeks look so gaunt and his pale pink lips are dry and cracked.
“Novak,” I hear Bam whisper softly.
Looking up, I see the skater gently nudging his sleeping friend. It takes a moment, but Novak slowly begins to stir. The man rubs his eyes until he seems to recognize his friend standing over him. He mumbles something, but I can’t quite make it out. When he sits up, his eyes fall on me and his expression falls. He looks at my hand on Jonne’s skin and looks as if he’s going to come at me, but he stops himself. I suppose that what’s happened to Jonne has made him a bit overprotective…. It’s good that Jonne has someone watching out for him, when I so obviously failed. When Novak’s look turns into an almost glare, I look away from him. I’m overwhelmed by guilt as it is. I don’t need Novak’s look reminding me that what happened to Jonne was my fault.
“Mr. Valo,” the doctor says my name softly as he kneels down beside my chair. “Do you know of any family members that we may be able to contact? The police have been checking, but they haven’t been able to find any of Mr. Aaron’s relatives.”
“Aaron?”
“Yes,” the doctor nods. “It’s policy that Mr. Aaron’s condition be shared only to family members. Unfortunately, no one has been able to find any trace of his family.”
“You won’t,” I tell him, sniffling my nose. “H- he never really went into detail, but he said that his family died in a car accident when he was little. I- I don’t know of any other relatives he may have…. And Aaron is his middle name. His last name is Liimatainen.”
The doctor takes in a sharp breath, taking me off guard. Turning to look at him, I see that his eyes are looking down to the floor now and they’re widened a bit. It confuses me, but he comes out of whatever trance he’s in after a few seconds.
“Doctor?”
“I- I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I’ll pass that information on to the police and maybe they’ll be able to track down some of his distant relatives.”
“Why?” I ask. “They won’t know him…. I’ve been his only family for the past eight years.”
“He has me now,” Novak’s voice butts in.
“Shut up, Novak,” Bam tells him quickly.
Ignoring them both, I turn my eyes back to Jonne. My beautiful, broken little angel. “W- what are his chances?”
“I’m afraid all that we can do now is wait and see,” Dr. Simm sighs. “Mr. Liimatainen has suffered serious head trauma and his body is steal healing from the assaults. Comatose patients could remain unconscious for a matter of days to several weeks.”
“Or longer?”
“On rare occasions, yes,” he nods. “Some patients wake and make full recoveries while others may slip into vegetative states. I believe the longest recorded one lasted thirty-seven years.”
“S- so there’s nothing that I can do?” I ask dumbly.
“I’m afraid that it’s not that simple. The human body is an amazing thing, Mr. Valo…. Your friend seems like a fighter. I’m sure his body is doing all it can to heal itself.”
“C- can he hear me?”
“It’s possible,” he nods. “Some patients have responded to the sound of loved one’s voices.”
“…Can I have a few moments alone with him?” I ask in a tiny voice. “Please?”
“Of course, Mr. Valo,” Dr. Simm nods.
“I’m not leaving,” Novak says. All eyes look over to the man as he stands up, his fists curling into tight balls looking as if he’s ready for a fight.
“Mr. Novak-” the doctor begins, but he’s quickly cut off.
“I said I’m not leaving! The last time I left him alone, some freak tried to kill him.”
“Shut the hell up, Novak!” Bam barks, hitting Novak’s head with his cast.
“Fuck you-”
“Gentlemen,” Dr. Simm interrupts. “If you both don’t knock it off, I’m going to have to remove you. Mr. Novak, I understand your concern, but you’re welcome to stand outside the door if it will make you feel better.”
Novak looks as if he’s about to fight the doctor on this. I know that he’s just looking out for Jonne… but I really just need to be alone with him right now.
“Novak… please,” I plead softly. “Please… I just need to talk to him.”
He stares me down for a few silent moments. I just continue to stare at him, eyes wide and silently pleading for him to grant me this one favor. After an unbearable silence, he finally backs down and begins to walk towards the exit of the room. He doesn’t make it far out, though, as he stops just outside of the doorway, leaning against it. It’s not much privacy, but it’s the best that he’s going to give me. Dr. Simm pats my shoulder gently before he too takes his leave. Once again, Bam and I are alone. I look to the skater and Bam’s eyes shift quietly from me to the door, silently asking if he should go as well. Chewing on the corner of my lip, I nod, telling him that he should go. Bam lets out what sounds like a soft sigh and approaches me.
“I’ll be right outside if you need me, baby,” he tells me and kisses the top of my head.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Soon I hear Bam’s soft footsteps fade away until I’m left alone in silence, save for the occasional beeping of the heart monitor. Very slowly, my eyes drift back towards the unconscious form of my friend. My fingers are still caressing the bare skin above his cast. Little goosebumps are forming on his arm and it causes me to half-smile. For as long as I’ve known him, his skin as always been a bit sensitive. Even if you barely touch him, he’ll burst out laughing as if he were being held down and tickled. My eyes follow the trail up his arm and over his collarbone until they land on the profile of his face.
“…Hello, kulta.”
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Third Person (POV)
Liimatainen…. That name kept repeating itself in the doctor’s mind as soon as Valo let it slip past his lips. Liimatianen. Dr. Simm knew that name. He knew it very well. It took the good doctor all he had in him not to let his emotions show in that room. His main concern had been attending to Mr. Valo and making sure that he didn’t cause himself any unnecessary strain. The second he heard that name, though, the doctor couldn’t get out of the room fast enough. He was just very thankful that the man had asked for a moment alone with his friend.
Looking over his shoulder, Dr. Simm makes sure that Margera and Novak are still standing outside the door. Margera is sitting in one of the chairs lining the hallway while Novak stands by the doorway like a guard dog. For a moment, he wonders if it is a good idea to leave the two alone, but he shakes off the thought. Ever since Margera was stabilized and set for release he had been quietly hanging around the hospital, or more specifically around Valo’s room. He hadn’t been causing any trouble, so the doctor didn’t feel that he should worry about him. Novak, on the other hand, was another story. Even before the incident with Jonne, he had been short tempered and troublesome with the nurses. After all of the chaos subsided he had been allowed back in on the condition that he behave himself. He was just going to have to trust the young man to keep his part of the agreement.
Feeling his chest tightening, Dr. Simm goes to the nurses’ station in order to take a few relaxing breaths. Only one nurse was at the station, but thankfully, she was too engrossed with her paperwork to pay any mind to the doctor. He knew that he shouldn’t be letting this overwhelm him right now, he had other patients that he needed to check in on, after all, but the doctor couldn’t help it. The name Liimatainen kept flashing in his mind. He knows that name very well…. It was the name on his son’s birth certificate.
Fourteen years ago, Harold Simm and his wife Lucy walked into an orphanage in Lower Manhattan. Years of failed pregnancy attempts and fertility treatments forced the couple into one final act of desperation in order to have a child. Though Harold was not comfortable with the thought of raising someone else’s child, he knew how much his wife longed to be a mother and he knew that he couldn’t deny her the privilege. At the time, the doctor had only just begun his Attending career at the hospital, so the couple hadn’t had the money to go through with a private adoption. The best they could do was to meet with the workers at the orphanage and decide which child they would call their own. That is where he and his wife first met the boy that would soon be their son.
For Lucy Simm, it had been love at first sight. Out of all of the children at the facility, one little boy stood out most to her. Ville had only been two years old at the time. He was a chubby little boy with pale blonde hair, sitting on the floor in his little blue overalls with a picture of a yellow duck sewn in on the front. The baby boy had been chewing on a red block while another blonde haired boy tried to stop him. Harold remembers that the baby cried when his little chew toy had been taken away and he thought for a moment that the older boy was picking on the baby. Then he and his wife watched as the older boy scooped the little one up in his arms and began singing an odd song to him. The moment the baby boy laughed, Lucy knew that she loved the little boy, that he would be the one.
Harold later learned that the older boy was the baby’s brother. The two were brought to the orphanage three months before because, not only had they lost their mother in a car accident the previous year, but their caretaker, their grandmother had passed away. This posed quite the problem for the couple. A social worker for the facility explained to them that it is encouraged not to separate siblings, especially ones so young. Seeing how the older brother was in a harder to place age group, it would be very beneficial for him to be taken along with his brother. The couple was torn at what they should do. Lucy was not opposed to the idea of taking the older boy as well, but Harold had to look at the reality of the situation. The couple barely had enough for the baby as it was, they couldn’t afford to take the child as well…. It would have to be the baby or nothing. So a few weeks later, Harold and Lucy signed the paperwork, and Ville Liimatainen became Andrew Simm.
The odds of this young man sharing his son’s last name and not being of some relation to him were astronomical. Wish all he might, there was no denying the plausible truth here. The young man lying in that bed was most likely his son’s biological brother…. Jonne Aaron Liimatainen, the boy they left behind.
“Dad?”
The softly spoken voice pulls the doctor from his deep thoughts. Looking up, he sees his son standing there watching him with a look of concern. Ville was dressed in his barista uniform of khaki pants and off white shirt. His blonde hair was pulled back in a tight bun, showing off his face. Harold could see the similarities between the two. The brows and jaw lines were similar, as well as the lips…
“Dad, are you ok?” The teen asks, stepping closer to his father.
“Y- yes. I’m fine,” the doctor nods. “What are you doing here?”
“I got off early at the coffee house. I know my shift doesn’t start for another hour, but I thought I’d come by early.”
“Oh…” That was a bit odd. This was the first shift Ville would have since the madness that went down several days before. The doctor was almost considering freeing him from his punishment of being an Orderly. Given the current events, though, it had slipped his mind.
“Well… I think I’m going to go ahead and get changed,” Ville informs, tugging on the strap of his backpack.
“Ville… you know, you can go home if you’d like,” the doctor offers. “You’ve been working hard here lately. It’s alright if you take one night off.”
The teen is mildly surprised by his father’s offer. His dad always had a strong work ethic and expected the same of his son. A night off was practically unheard of for him. He pauses and considers taking the chance to go home and relax. The doctor watches him silently as his son weighs his options, then he sees those blue eyes look beyond him, towards Jonne’s room.
“It’s ok, Dad,” he tells him. “I think I’ll be alright.”
“Are you sure?” He asks. “After what happened, I’ll understand if you want to take a bit more time.”
“It’s ok,” he says again, still looking towards Jonne’s room. “I’ll stay, Dad.”
All the time he’s speaking to his father, the teen’s eyes are looking past him. The doctor can see that his gaze is focused on the hallway behind him, and he knows that there is probably only one thing on his son’s mind. Now that he thinks about it, ever since he first showed the damaged man to Ville, his son had been making up any excuse he could to go by the man’s room, as if he needed to watch over him. It was almost as if he were drawn to the room, but the doctor never understood why. It’s as if there was some primal instinct calling Ville to that room, telling him something that he didn’t know yet.
“Well, I’m going to go ahead and get changed,” Ville informs. His father’s silence and the glazed over look in his eyes was beginning to bother him. He thinks that its time that his father take a much needed vacation.
The teen sidesteps around his father and heads off towards the direction of the men’s changing room. He knows that his shift doesn’t start for a little while longer, but it seemed like a better alternative than just sitting around and doing nothing. The teen makes it about ten steps away when he feels a warm hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he sees his father standing behind him, his mouth open as if he’s trying to say something.
“Dad-”
The teen is cut off when his father suddenly pulls him into a tight hug, knocking the wind out of him. Confused, the teen stands completely still as his father squeezes him gently. He seriously has no idea what is going on here.
“Um… Dad?”
The doctor doesn’t let go of his son, but only grips him tighter. The man was having an unusual rush of emotion and he knew that it would overwhelm him if he didn’t let it out. At the moment, too many things are going through his mind to listen to Ville’s complaints that he’s crushing him. He’s thinking back to the moment when he held Ville for the first time, he’s thinking about the boy’s first steps and words, about his first day of school. He’s thinking about the wonderful young man his son has become and how is so proud of him. Lastly, he’s thinking about how very different his son’s life could have been. He’s thinking about the life that he and his wife saved him from… the life that Jonne had.
“I love you, Ville,” he says softly to his son.
“I love you too, Dad,” the teen replies, hugging his father back with one arm.
“I’m very proud of you, you know that right?”
Confused, Ville pulls out of his father’s grasp and stands back to look at him. “Are you alright, Dad?”
“No…,” he admits. “No I’m not.”
“Dad, what’s wrong?”
“…We need to talk.”
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Sorry for having to do this again. You know the drill
comments are love ^_^