[Fanfic] There Is No Smile Of An Angel - PG-13
Title: There Is No Smile Of An Angel
Author: kyoudai_koibito//kirakiracandy
Pairing: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst? Heh. ^^;
Disclaimer: This is fiction, purely fiction and I own nothing.
Author's Note: Not reworked. Written before Jenn Rivell and Bam broke up.
Summary: Ville has a secret ... what happens when he reveals it?
There Is No Smile Of An Angel
Soft green eyes followed Bam as he pushed his way through the crowd.
"Ville!" he called over the noise and the chaos.
Ville immediately smiled, waving a hand in the air. He was leaning against a wall, just waiting for Bam to come over. "Hey, Bam!"
"Ville!" Bam jumped and hugged him, laughing and pulling him to the floor by accident. Ville just laughed and fixed his hat, which had fallen over his eyes. Inside of that smile, his heart was aching. Why did Bam always do this? He didn't know how much it hurt. How much it hurt to know even though he showed affection...it was still only friendship. Only friendship. Bam's arms were still wrapped around him and he longed so much to stay there forever.
"Bam, knocking over your best friend! That's not nice." Jenn's voice finally broke Ville's thoughts.
"He doesn't care. Right?"
Ville just kept on smiling, not showing any pain at all. "Of course not." He shoved Bam's beanie down over his eyes as he used the skateboarder's head to balance himself as he got up off the floor.
"Let's get out of here and go drinking!" Bam exclaimed, wrestling with his hat. "No girls!"
"Sure!"
"You be good Bam! Keep him out of trouble, Ville. Don't let him near any girls." joked Jenn.
"Um...yeah sure."
Bam grabbed Ville's hand and yanked him through the backstage crowd and out the door. As if Ville hadn't already gotten smashed on stage during the concert, now Bam wanted to go out drinking. Oh well. The cold air hit him hard as Bam dragged into the quiet street.
"Ah...it's really fucking cold out here!"
"No shit." Bam laughed, rubbing his hands over his cold arms as his eyes scanned the street for a close bar. "Damn...well I think there's one down the street."
"Alright, then," Ville said, his teeth chattering. "Let's go then!" Bam wrapped an arm around Ville as they walked. Ville looked at him strangely, trying not to show his true feelings.
"Trying to keep you warm, man. Don't want our precious rock star to freeze to death."
"Of course..." Ville said, glumly, still shivering. Bam ignored him as he pulled him into the first bar they saw. The moment seemed slow as Bam pulled Ville through the door, his eyes sparkling as the shadows of the poorly lit bar fell across his face. The smile that graced his lips as he was sincerely happy to just be out with his closest friend. Ville swallowed a sigh, and coughed to make up for the weird sound emitting from his throat.
"You aren't getting a cold, are you?" Bam looked at him, a slight touch of worry on his handsome face. Ville shook his head. Bam shrugged and kept walking further into the bar. Ville watched his retreating back for a moment, pondering over the look on Bam's face when they first walked in the door.
...let me never see the sun...and never see your smile...
Quickly he snapped out of it and went to take a seat at the bar. He pushed his gray scarf over his shoulder and ordered something just plain random. Whatever would get him more drunk then he already was. Drowning his sorrows...as usual.
"I think I'll have whiskey!"
"No way, Bam. I don't need to be your personal nurse tonight because you ran into a door...or a window...or whatever."
"Oh, c’mon Ville I wasn't serious. Lighten up." He punched Ville's shoulder and ordered something ordinary to shut his friend up.
--
Only a few hours later the two boys emerged from the bar, drunk as fuck. Ville was finally laughing and falling all over Bam. The two were giggling like schoolgirls as they stumbled down the street.
"Where's...where's the fucking hotel?" Bam slurred.
"I don't know! I'm not a fucking map!" Ville's words also slurred and were harder to understand with his accent.
"Oooh, I remember. For once..." Bam snorted and laughed at himself. "It's only a couple blocks this way."
"Good...it better be."
Somehow the drunk pair made their way into the lobby, still laughing and talking loudly. They collapsed on a couch in the lobby but a guy in a uniform started to come over to yell at them.
"What are you people doing? Get out of here!" he screamed. "This is a respectable hotel!"
Laughing Bam pushed Ville on the floor. "We're ummm...staying here."
"Then I suggest that you lovebirds get to your room before you are no longer staying here." The guy pouted like a girl and stomped off.
Bam and Ville took one look at each other and burst out laughing. They scrambled up off the couch and squealing loudly to disturb people, ran to the elevator. After Bam pressed all the buttons and they stopped on every floor before theirs, cracking up each time the doors opened, they stumbled down the hallway toward Ville's room.
"I forgot my key." Bam realized, shoving his hands into his deep pockets. "And I'm tired. Lemme sleep on your floor."
"Sure...whatever." Ville tried not to sound excited about it. The man he was in love with sleeping in the same room as him! He smiled and unlocked the door. They fell into the hallway, both of them trying to get inside the dark room at the same time. Once again laughing and getting up to shut the door behind them. Still gasping for air from laughing so much, the pair collapsed on Ville's bed.
The was silence as they both lay there staring at the ceiling. The only light was from the thin curtains letting in the lights from the city.
...let me wake up in your arms...
Ville awoke and felt something touching him around his waist. Light now flooded the room. Apparently, Bam and him had just passed out on his bed. Bam's arm was now resting across his hips. He gulped slightly, his body reacting to Bam's simple touch. Bam was obviously still asleep, his light breathing made that evident. He was sprawled across the bed on his stomach, while Ville lay next to him on his back. Ville let his eyes drift over to the clock. It was almost eight o' clock. Maybe Bam would wake up soon. Until then, Ville lay there, trying desperately not to wake his friend. He felt a shiver run through his body and he wondered what would happen when...Bam's eyes slowly opened. They looked into his green ones, full of sleep and dreariness.
"Ville?" he croaked, his voice thick still.
"Bam..."
"Why..." Bam sat up, taking his arm from Ville's waist. "Um...that was weird. Sorry about that." He yawned, stretching. Then he noticed Ville was still lying on his back stiffly, staring up at him. "What's wrong?"
"Um...um...nothing." Ville faulted, his muscles still tense as he also sat up.
"I know it's fucking something. You've been acting weird for months now. Especially around me. I don't get it." Bam scratched his messy head of hair. Ville paused to take in the sight of a confused, messy Bam. He was so cute, even in the morning.
"Ville?" Bam hit his knee with his fist. "What's up?"
"I don't want to talk about it, it's nothing."
"What do you mean nothing? I--"
"Do you really wanna know?" Ville asked, quietly interrupting before Bam could go on.
"Yes."
"I love you...Bam. I love...you." Ville cringed, looking down.
...hold me tight...and bury me deep inside your heart...
Bam didn't say anything, so Ville looked up. But Bam's face was unreadable.
"God...just...forget I said it, forget everything." Ville's chest hurt. Why did he tell Bam that?! Bam's fingers brushed across his face and under his chin and brought his face up so their lips met. Ville couldn't think anymore as Bam's tongue pressed into his. His heart raced and his head felt cloudy...everything seemed blurry so he closed his eyes. The kiss was warm and hard and fast...and wonderful. Bam pulled away, trying to catch his breath.
"Ville..." he looked down. "I---I don't love you like that. I can't."
"Wha--what? But you just..." Ville looked up, confused. Tears began to form in his perfect green eyes.
"I kissed you because I wanted to see if I felt it too but...I didn't, ok? I'm..." Bam left off, feeling unable to say the word sorry.
Tears began to roll down Ville's cheeks now and he sobbed quietly into his still gloved hands. "Why didn't you just tell me? Why did you have to kiss me? Why?!"
"Ville...stop it. Stop crying...I'm..." Bam stopped, frustrated with his jumbled speech. "I should leave...I didn't mean to, I mean...god, fuck. I didn't want to fucking hurt your feelings!" Bam stomped off and slammed the door behind him as he left.
Ville lay back, still crying. His heart felt ripped in two. How was he supposed to go on? How was...he...
...all I ever wanted is you my love...you're all I ever wanted...
Notes:
+ As a teen, I wrote alot of angsty stories. xD So I'm trying to alternate my posts of the majorly angsty with the not-so-angsty. Next will be a sweet/humorous one. ^.^
+ Again, originally written in 2004. The song is "Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart" by HIM (dur)
+ Am I posting too soon? xD
Author: kyoudai_koibito//kirakiracandy
Pairing: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst? Heh. ^^;
Disclaimer: This is fiction, purely fiction and I own nothing.
Author's Note: Not reworked. Written before Jenn Rivell and Bam broke up.
Summary: Ville has a secret ... what happens when he reveals it?
There Is No Smile Of An Angel
Soft green eyes followed Bam as he pushed his way through the crowd.
"Ville!" he called over the noise and the chaos.
Ville immediately smiled, waving a hand in the air. He was leaning against a wall, just waiting for Bam to come over. "Hey, Bam!"
"Ville!" Bam jumped and hugged him, laughing and pulling him to the floor by accident. Ville just laughed and fixed his hat, which had fallen over his eyes. Inside of that smile, his heart was aching. Why did Bam always do this? He didn't know how much it hurt. How much it hurt to know even though he showed affection...it was still only friendship. Only friendship. Bam's arms were still wrapped around him and he longed so much to stay there forever.
"Bam, knocking over your best friend! That's not nice." Jenn's voice finally broke Ville's thoughts.
"He doesn't care. Right?"
Ville just kept on smiling, not showing any pain at all. "Of course not." He shoved Bam's beanie down over his eyes as he used the skateboarder's head to balance himself as he got up off the floor.
"Let's get out of here and go drinking!" Bam exclaimed, wrestling with his hat. "No girls!"
"Sure!"
"You be good Bam! Keep him out of trouble, Ville. Don't let him near any girls." joked Jenn.
"Um...yeah sure."
Bam grabbed Ville's hand and yanked him through the backstage crowd and out the door. As if Ville hadn't already gotten smashed on stage during the concert, now Bam wanted to go out drinking. Oh well. The cold air hit him hard as Bam dragged into the quiet street.
"Ah...it's really fucking cold out here!"
"No shit." Bam laughed, rubbing his hands over his cold arms as his eyes scanned the street for a close bar. "Damn...well I think there's one down the street."
"Alright, then," Ville said, his teeth chattering. "Let's go then!" Bam wrapped an arm around Ville as they walked. Ville looked at him strangely, trying not to show his true feelings.
"Trying to keep you warm, man. Don't want our precious rock star to freeze to death."
"Of course..." Ville said, glumly, still shivering. Bam ignored him as he pulled him into the first bar they saw. The moment seemed slow as Bam pulled Ville through the door, his eyes sparkling as the shadows of the poorly lit bar fell across his face. The smile that graced his lips as he was sincerely happy to just be out with his closest friend. Ville swallowed a sigh, and coughed to make up for the weird sound emitting from his throat.
"You aren't getting a cold, are you?" Bam looked at him, a slight touch of worry on his handsome face. Ville shook his head. Bam shrugged and kept walking further into the bar. Ville watched his retreating back for a moment, pondering over the look on Bam's face when they first walked in the door.
...let me never see the sun...and never see your smile...
Quickly he snapped out of it and went to take a seat at the bar. He pushed his gray scarf over his shoulder and ordered something just plain random. Whatever would get him more drunk then he already was. Drowning his sorrows...as usual.
"I think I'll have whiskey!"
"No way, Bam. I don't need to be your personal nurse tonight because you ran into a door...or a window...or whatever."
"Oh, c’mon Ville I wasn't serious. Lighten up." He punched Ville's shoulder and ordered something ordinary to shut his friend up.
--
Only a few hours later the two boys emerged from the bar, drunk as fuck. Ville was finally laughing and falling all over Bam. The two were giggling like schoolgirls as they stumbled down the street.
"Where's...where's the fucking hotel?" Bam slurred.
"I don't know! I'm not a fucking map!" Ville's words also slurred and were harder to understand with his accent.
"Oooh, I remember. For once..." Bam snorted and laughed at himself. "It's only a couple blocks this way."
"Good...it better be."
Somehow the drunk pair made their way into the lobby, still laughing and talking loudly. They collapsed on a couch in the lobby but a guy in a uniform started to come over to yell at them.
"What are you people doing? Get out of here!" he screamed. "This is a respectable hotel!"
Laughing Bam pushed Ville on the floor. "We're ummm...staying here."
"Then I suggest that you lovebirds get to your room before you are no longer staying here." The guy pouted like a girl and stomped off.
Bam and Ville took one look at each other and burst out laughing. They scrambled up off the couch and squealing loudly to disturb people, ran to the elevator. After Bam pressed all the buttons and they stopped on every floor before theirs, cracking up each time the doors opened, they stumbled down the hallway toward Ville's room.
"I forgot my key." Bam realized, shoving his hands into his deep pockets. "And I'm tired. Lemme sleep on your floor."
"Sure...whatever." Ville tried not to sound excited about it. The man he was in love with sleeping in the same room as him! He smiled and unlocked the door. They fell into the hallway, both of them trying to get inside the dark room at the same time. Once again laughing and getting up to shut the door behind them. Still gasping for air from laughing so much, the pair collapsed on Ville's bed.
The was silence as they both lay there staring at the ceiling. The only light was from the thin curtains letting in the lights from the city.
...let me wake up in your arms...
Ville awoke and felt something touching him around his waist. Light now flooded the room. Apparently, Bam and him had just passed out on his bed. Bam's arm was now resting across his hips. He gulped slightly, his body reacting to Bam's simple touch. Bam was obviously still asleep, his light breathing made that evident. He was sprawled across the bed on his stomach, while Ville lay next to him on his back. Ville let his eyes drift over to the clock. It was almost eight o' clock. Maybe Bam would wake up soon. Until then, Ville lay there, trying desperately not to wake his friend. He felt a shiver run through his body and he wondered what would happen when...Bam's eyes slowly opened. They looked into his green ones, full of sleep and dreariness.
"Ville?" he croaked, his voice thick still.
"Bam..."
"Why..." Bam sat up, taking his arm from Ville's waist. "Um...that was weird. Sorry about that." He yawned, stretching. Then he noticed Ville was still lying on his back stiffly, staring up at him. "What's wrong?"
"Um...um...nothing." Ville faulted, his muscles still tense as he also sat up.
"I know it's fucking something. You've been acting weird for months now. Especially around me. I don't get it." Bam scratched his messy head of hair. Ville paused to take in the sight of a confused, messy Bam. He was so cute, even in the morning.
"Ville?" Bam hit his knee with his fist. "What's up?"
"I don't want to talk about it, it's nothing."
"What do you mean nothing? I--"
"Do you really wanna know?" Ville asked, quietly interrupting before Bam could go on.
"Yes."
"I love you...Bam. I love...you." Ville cringed, looking down.
...hold me tight...and bury me deep inside your heart...
Bam didn't say anything, so Ville looked up. But Bam's face was unreadable.
"God...just...forget I said it, forget everything." Ville's chest hurt. Why did he tell Bam that?! Bam's fingers brushed across his face and under his chin and brought his face up so their lips met. Ville couldn't think anymore as Bam's tongue pressed into his. His heart raced and his head felt cloudy...everything seemed blurry so he closed his eyes. The kiss was warm and hard and fast...and wonderful. Bam pulled away, trying to catch his breath.
"Ville..." he looked down. "I---I don't love you like that. I can't."
"Wha--what? But you just..." Ville looked up, confused. Tears began to form in his perfect green eyes.
"I kissed you because I wanted to see if I felt it too but...I didn't, ok? I'm..." Bam left off, feeling unable to say the word sorry.
Tears began to roll down Ville's cheeks now and he sobbed quietly into his still gloved hands. "Why didn't you just tell me? Why did you have to kiss me? Why?!"
"Ville...stop it. Stop crying...I'm..." Bam stopped, frustrated with his jumbled speech. "I should leave...I didn't mean to, I mean...god, fuck. I didn't want to fucking hurt your feelings!" Bam stomped off and slammed the door behind him as he left.
Ville lay back, still crying. His heart felt ripped in two. How was he supposed to go on? How was...he...
...all I ever wanted is you my love...you're all I ever wanted...
Notes:
+ As a teen, I wrote alot of angsty stories. xD So I'm trying to alternate my posts of the majorly angsty with the not-so-angsty. Next will be a sweet/humorous one. ^.^
+ Again, originally written in 2004. The song is "Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart" by HIM (dur)
+ Am I posting too soon? xD