(no subject)
Title: Patient Forgiveness
Author: myforgottenpain
Rating: R for content
Pairing: Vam all the way!
Summary: When Bam and Ville finally are given a chance to be together, will they be able to make the life they always wanted?
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Warnings: Angsty in the beginning, but it will get better! I swear!
Authors Notes: I'm still pulling this story together, so hopefully it will work well with me posting it before its done. I've only rewritten this story like... eight times...
“Hello doctor…” Bam said as he turned away from the twins, his hand lingering on the side of the crib. He reached out with his other hand to shake the pediatrician’s hand.
“It’s good to see you.” Ville said as he shook the doctor’s hand after Bam. “You said you wanted to tell us something about the twins?”
They watched the doctor as he moved around to the other side of the cribs, nodding as he pulled up his stethoscope, checking the babies’ heart beat. “Yes I did.” He replied casually.
Bam and Ville reached out and held each others hands. “Is it something bad?” Bam asked softly, worried that something had gone wrong.
“No… on the contrary… I was going to ask you if you wanted to take them home today.” The doctor’s smile turned into a grin when he saw the shocked look on their faces.
“Are you serious?” They asked together.
“Yes, very serious. They are doing amazing well. They are eating well, their blood sugar is fine, and little Niklas here is breathing completely on his own now. I see no reason why they shouldn’t be allowed to go home at this point.” The doctor explained.
Both Ville and Bam had to brush away tears, trying to express as quickly as they could how much they wanted to take the babies home with them.
“Well as long as you have car seats… take them… they’re yours after all.” The doctor said.
“We already have them strapped into the car, waiting to take them home.” Bam said, looking excitedly between his son and the doctor, unsure of whom to go to first. “Thank you…thank you so much.” Bam said, deciding to shake the doctor’s hand quickly, adding in a hug before he scooped up his son. “Hi Esa… you get to go home today.” He automatically lowered his tone so he could speak softly to the infant.
Ville didn’t have the same conflict that Bam had having immediately scooped up the second twin, gently cradling him against his chest. “It’s alright Niklas… your papa has you now.” He kissed the infant on the head before he turned to face the doctor. “Thank you.” He said gently, reaching out carefully to shake the doctor’s hand.
“It was my pleasure. Take good care of them and make sure to get their shots.” The doctor said.
“We will.” Ville promised, as Bam nodded in agreement before they left.
****
“So Ape… you should take an early and extended break and come home.” Bam said as he settled down in the couch, Esa resting comfortably on his chest. “I have a surprise for you.”
“I’ll try my best to get out, but we are so busy here.” April said.
“Oh I think it might be worth it for you to come over.” Bam said softly, chuckling a little when she said she would be there with a dramatic sigh. “Alright see you then.” He tossed the phone to the coffee table when the call was over, focusing on the infant in his arms.
“She probably thinks you’re up to no good.” Ville commented softly, sitting on the other side of the couch, facing Bam. He had the other baby nestled in his arms.
Bam chuckled, “Probably.” He ran his hand gently over Esa’s cheek, watching the steady inhale and exhale of his breath. “I can’t believe they are really here.”
“I know.” Ville said softly, Niklas’ little hand resting on his index finger. He ran his thumb slowly over the baby’s knuckles.
“They’re perfect.” Bam said softly. “Like something from a dream.”
“They are a dream.” Ville said looking up to meet Bam’s gaze. “A dream come true for us.”
Bam nodded, “A wonderful dream… even if our lives will never be the same again.”
“The sacrifice will be worth it.”
****
“Alright Bam… what did you set on fire….” April started as she walked through the house. Her tone dropped, as did her jaw, gasping when she reached the kitchen.
Bam grinned when he saw April, turning to look at Esa who was sitting in his bouncy chair. “Look who’s here?! It’s your very own Me-Ma. Isn’t it exciting?” Bam asked, his features showing excitement for a child who was sleeping. Carefully he scooped Esa up so he could hand him to April. “There you go Me-Ma.”
Tears ran down her cheeks as she gently took the baby from Bam. “Hello handsome….”
“Let’s not forget his equally handsome brother.” Ville said, walking over with Niklas.
“Oh my god…. You brought them both home? This is wonderful… look at you.” She kissed Niklas on the head before looking back at Esa. “Goodness you look just like your daddy.” She whispered, kissing him gently on the head.
“Really?” Bam asked as he finished making the baby his bottle. “I thought he looked more like Ville… around the eyes.”
“Maybe…. But I know that nose.” April said, gently running her finger over the nose in question. “It’s the same nose I wake up to every morning… the same nose I’m looking at right now.” She turned and poked Bam in his nose, making him laugh. “That’s a Margera nose. Now give me that bottle.” She demanded in a light hearted manner, playfully snatching the bottle away. “Me Ma is going to feed this handsome little guy.”
Bam chuckled and passed the other bottle off to Phil, who had abandoned his paperwork in lue of feeding one of the twins. He took Niklas expertly from Ville and joined his wife on the couch, fussing off the newest members of their family. “I’m baby-less…” Bam joked, throwing his hands up in the air in a sign of mock defeat.
“Ahhh maybe so…” Ville said pulling Bam close, leaning forward as he dipped Bam backwards, kissing him deeply. “But you are far from loveless.”
“God I love you.” Bam said, yanking Ville close so he could kiss him again.
****
“What are you doing love?” Ville asked as he crawled into bed, kissing Bam on the shoulder before resting his cheek against it.
“Look at them.” Bam said as he leaned back against the older man, his tone low as if afraid of waking the twins. In his hand was a hand held monitoring device that at the moment was sending a video image of the sleeping twins. “Does Niklas look alright to you?” Bam whispered.
“He looks fine.” Ville answered, smiling at the image of their sleeping children.
“Are you sure?” Bam whispered.
“Why are you whispering?” Ville whispered, grinning at Bam.
“I don’t know.” Bam answered, grinning finally as he looked to Ville, chuckling a little.
“Let me see the monitor.” Ville asked, reaching out for it.
The grin on Bam’s lips turned devilish, twisting so he could hold it away from Ville. “No.”
Ville’s own grin grew, “Give it to me… please.”
Bam licked his lips slowly, “What will you give me for it?”
Ville crept closer to Bam, his hand sliding over Bam’s thigh, “What do you want for it?” He asked as he lowered his voice, taking on a sexy tone.
“To do dirty things to your body.” Bam whispered as he ran his hand up Ville’s shirt.
“Mmm… you could have done that for free.” Ville said, pulling Bam backwards with him onto the bed, their make out quickly intensifying only to stop when the cry of a baby made them par; especially when it was joined by a second one.
At the time they had a vague idea of who was who, but as all parent’s do they caught on quickly. They learned the difference between Esa’s cry and Niklas’ cry. They learned the difference between: I’m hungry, I’m soiled, I’m tired, and most importantly I want attention.
But that, like everything else took time.
April was glad to see that the nursery that Bam was finally revealing was actually quite elegant. Like most of the house, the floor was wood, with beams across the ceiling and down some of the walls. He had them re-tarnished so they would be a deep rich brown color that matched the furniture. The walls were a deep rich purple color, almost like a burgundy. Bam furthered the surprise by asking April to hand paint vines on the walls to give it the gothic touch he liked so much. Which might have been the reason April loved the room as much as she did.
While Ryan still lived with them, he had become some what distant in a way. He loved the twins and was a wonderful Godfather to them, but anyone above the age of a year old could see the sadness that lingered in his eyes.
“I don’t think I ever thanked you properly.” Bam brought up while folding laundry, his foot resting on the edge of the baby bouncer, rocking Esa.
“For what?” Ryan asked, helping with the laundry, his foot rocking Niklas.
“For giving up your happiness for mine.” Bam said carefully.
“I told you I don’t mind helping out with chores…”
“I’m not talking about that.”
“Then what are you talking about?” Ryan asked.
“For what happened between you and Katri.” Bam said softly, pausing in folding the laundry when Ryan did as well.
“Bam I don’t really want to talk about this.”
“But I want too… I know I wasn’t exactly there for you.” Bam said while sadness lingered in his blue gaze. “I wasn’t a real friend when you needed it the most.”
“I don’t hold anything against you Bam. I know you were busy with the twins… you were there when I needed you… and that’s all that matters.”
“Then why do I feel like crude?”
“Crude?” Ryan asked with an amused smile, chuckling when Bam indicated to the twins. “Crude… who would have thought that Bam would self censor?”
“I don’t believe a lot of things that have happened and yet they have.”
“Seriously though Bam, don’t feel bad. Things happened this way for a reason… if we were meant to be together, we would be together.”
Bam sighed, “If you say so.”
“If you can patiently wait to have Ville all to yourself for God…what… eight years; I think I can wait for a chance at being happy too.”
Bam smiled, looking to Ville who was washing dishes in the kitchen. “I would do it all over again too… if only to have him… and of course the twins now.” He reached up and touched the amulet the always hung around his neck. “The only thing I think I would have done differently… was fight for Kasia more.”
“Hey…” Ryan stopped so he could move closer to Bam, hugging him. “You did all you could for her. She knows that.”
“I know… but it doesn’t help the pain anymore than my words can help yours. We all have our regrets to carry…” Bam said as he hugged Ryan.
“Since when did you become so wise?” Ryan joked as they went back to folding laundry.
“Since I stopped pretending I was a know it all and listened to my parents. It’s amazing what you can learn when you shut up for five minutes and listen.” Bam only semi-joked, Ape and Phil had been a blessing to him, teaching him many practical things about raising children; as well as being there when he needed them.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself… you listened… sometimes.”
“Not enough though. But I’m going to make it up to them by being the best father I can be to these boys.” Bam announced.
Ryan chuckled, “Alright Super Dad… just leave some room for trial and error.”
“I’m serious… I want to be as good of a father as mine was to me.”
“To all of us… all of us would have been lost if not for your parents taking us under their wing.” Ryan pointed out.
“They are amazing people. It will be hard to compete with what they did…” Bam paused and looked to the two sleeping babies. “But I think those two are worth it.”
http://vammyluv.livejournal.com/6942.html
http://vammyluv.livejournal.com/7203.html
Author: myforgottenpain
Rating: R for content
Pairing: Vam all the way!
Summary: When Bam and Ville finally are given a chance to be together, will they be able to make the life they always wanted?
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Warnings: Angsty in the beginning, but it will get better! I swear!
Authors Notes: I'm still pulling this story together, so hopefully it will work well with me posting it before its done. I've only rewritten this story like... eight times...
“Hello doctor…” Bam said as he turned away from the twins, his hand lingering on the side of the crib. He reached out with his other hand to shake the pediatrician’s hand.
“It’s good to see you.” Ville said as he shook the doctor’s hand after Bam. “You said you wanted to tell us something about the twins?”
They watched the doctor as he moved around to the other side of the cribs, nodding as he pulled up his stethoscope, checking the babies’ heart beat. “Yes I did.” He replied casually.
Bam and Ville reached out and held each others hands. “Is it something bad?” Bam asked softly, worried that something had gone wrong.
“No… on the contrary… I was going to ask you if you wanted to take them home today.” The doctor’s smile turned into a grin when he saw the shocked look on their faces.
“Are you serious?” They asked together.
“Yes, very serious. They are doing amazing well. They are eating well, their blood sugar is fine, and little Niklas here is breathing completely on his own now. I see no reason why they shouldn’t be allowed to go home at this point.” The doctor explained.
Both Ville and Bam had to brush away tears, trying to express as quickly as they could how much they wanted to take the babies home with them.
“Well as long as you have car seats… take them… they’re yours after all.” The doctor said.
“We already have them strapped into the car, waiting to take them home.” Bam said, looking excitedly between his son and the doctor, unsure of whom to go to first. “Thank you…thank you so much.” Bam said, deciding to shake the doctor’s hand quickly, adding in a hug before he scooped up his son. “Hi Esa… you get to go home today.” He automatically lowered his tone so he could speak softly to the infant.
Ville didn’t have the same conflict that Bam had having immediately scooped up the second twin, gently cradling him against his chest. “It’s alright Niklas… your papa has you now.” He kissed the infant on the head before he turned to face the doctor. “Thank you.” He said gently, reaching out carefully to shake the doctor’s hand.
“It was my pleasure. Take good care of them and make sure to get their shots.” The doctor said.
“We will.” Ville promised, as Bam nodded in agreement before they left.
****
“So Ape… you should take an early and extended break and come home.” Bam said as he settled down in the couch, Esa resting comfortably on his chest. “I have a surprise for you.”
“I’ll try my best to get out, but we are so busy here.” April said.
“Oh I think it might be worth it for you to come over.” Bam said softly, chuckling a little when she said she would be there with a dramatic sigh. “Alright see you then.” He tossed the phone to the coffee table when the call was over, focusing on the infant in his arms.
“She probably thinks you’re up to no good.” Ville commented softly, sitting on the other side of the couch, facing Bam. He had the other baby nestled in his arms.
Bam chuckled, “Probably.” He ran his hand gently over Esa’s cheek, watching the steady inhale and exhale of his breath. “I can’t believe they are really here.”
“I know.” Ville said softly, Niklas’ little hand resting on his index finger. He ran his thumb slowly over the baby’s knuckles.
“They’re perfect.” Bam said softly. “Like something from a dream.”
“They are a dream.” Ville said looking up to meet Bam’s gaze. “A dream come true for us.”
Bam nodded, “A wonderful dream… even if our lives will never be the same again.”
“The sacrifice will be worth it.”
****
“Alright Bam… what did you set on fire….” April started as she walked through the house. Her tone dropped, as did her jaw, gasping when she reached the kitchen.
Bam grinned when he saw April, turning to look at Esa who was sitting in his bouncy chair. “Look who’s here?! It’s your very own Me-Ma. Isn’t it exciting?” Bam asked, his features showing excitement for a child who was sleeping. Carefully he scooped Esa up so he could hand him to April. “There you go Me-Ma.”
Tears ran down her cheeks as she gently took the baby from Bam. “Hello handsome….”
“Let’s not forget his equally handsome brother.” Ville said, walking over with Niklas.
“Oh my god…. You brought them both home? This is wonderful… look at you.” She kissed Niklas on the head before looking back at Esa. “Goodness you look just like your daddy.” She whispered, kissing him gently on the head.
“Really?” Bam asked as he finished making the baby his bottle. “I thought he looked more like Ville… around the eyes.”
“Maybe…. But I know that nose.” April said, gently running her finger over the nose in question. “It’s the same nose I wake up to every morning… the same nose I’m looking at right now.” She turned and poked Bam in his nose, making him laugh. “That’s a Margera nose. Now give me that bottle.” She demanded in a light hearted manner, playfully snatching the bottle away. “Me Ma is going to feed this handsome little guy.”
Bam chuckled and passed the other bottle off to Phil, who had abandoned his paperwork in lue of feeding one of the twins. He took Niklas expertly from Ville and joined his wife on the couch, fussing off the newest members of their family. “I’m baby-less…” Bam joked, throwing his hands up in the air in a sign of mock defeat.
“Ahhh maybe so…” Ville said pulling Bam close, leaning forward as he dipped Bam backwards, kissing him deeply. “But you are far from loveless.”
“God I love you.” Bam said, yanking Ville close so he could kiss him again.
****
“What are you doing love?” Ville asked as he crawled into bed, kissing Bam on the shoulder before resting his cheek against it.
“Look at them.” Bam said as he leaned back against the older man, his tone low as if afraid of waking the twins. In his hand was a hand held monitoring device that at the moment was sending a video image of the sleeping twins. “Does Niklas look alright to you?” Bam whispered.
“He looks fine.” Ville answered, smiling at the image of their sleeping children.
“Are you sure?” Bam whispered.
“Why are you whispering?” Ville whispered, grinning at Bam.
“I don’t know.” Bam answered, grinning finally as he looked to Ville, chuckling a little.
“Let me see the monitor.” Ville asked, reaching out for it.
The grin on Bam’s lips turned devilish, twisting so he could hold it away from Ville. “No.”
Ville’s own grin grew, “Give it to me… please.”
Bam licked his lips slowly, “What will you give me for it?”
Ville crept closer to Bam, his hand sliding over Bam’s thigh, “What do you want for it?” He asked as he lowered his voice, taking on a sexy tone.
“To do dirty things to your body.” Bam whispered as he ran his hand up Ville’s shirt.
“Mmm… you could have done that for free.” Ville said, pulling Bam backwards with him onto the bed, their make out quickly intensifying only to stop when the cry of a baby made them par; especially when it was joined by a second one.
At the time they had a vague idea of who was who, but as all parent’s do they caught on quickly. They learned the difference between Esa’s cry and Niklas’ cry. They learned the difference between: I’m hungry, I’m soiled, I’m tired, and most importantly I want attention.
But that, like everything else took time.
April was glad to see that the nursery that Bam was finally revealing was actually quite elegant. Like most of the house, the floor was wood, with beams across the ceiling and down some of the walls. He had them re-tarnished so they would be a deep rich brown color that matched the furniture. The walls were a deep rich purple color, almost like a burgundy. Bam furthered the surprise by asking April to hand paint vines on the walls to give it the gothic touch he liked so much. Which might have been the reason April loved the room as much as she did.
While Ryan still lived with them, he had become some what distant in a way. He loved the twins and was a wonderful Godfather to them, but anyone above the age of a year old could see the sadness that lingered in his eyes.
“I don’t think I ever thanked you properly.” Bam brought up while folding laundry, his foot resting on the edge of the baby bouncer, rocking Esa.
“For what?” Ryan asked, helping with the laundry, his foot rocking Niklas.
“For giving up your happiness for mine.” Bam said carefully.
“I told you I don’t mind helping out with chores…”
“I’m not talking about that.”
“Then what are you talking about?” Ryan asked.
“For what happened between you and Katri.” Bam said softly, pausing in folding the laundry when Ryan did as well.
“Bam I don’t really want to talk about this.”
“But I want too… I know I wasn’t exactly there for you.” Bam said while sadness lingered in his blue gaze. “I wasn’t a real friend when you needed it the most.”
“I don’t hold anything against you Bam. I know you were busy with the twins… you were there when I needed you… and that’s all that matters.”
“Then why do I feel like crude?”
“Crude?” Ryan asked with an amused smile, chuckling when Bam indicated to the twins. “Crude… who would have thought that Bam would self censor?”
“I don’t believe a lot of things that have happened and yet they have.”
“Seriously though Bam, don’t feel bad. Things happened this way for a reason… if we were meant to be together, we would be together.”
Bam sighed, “If you say so.”
“If you can patiently wait to have Ville all to yourself for God…what… eight years; I think I can wait for a chance at being happy too.”
Bam smiled, looking to Ville who was washing dishes in the kitchen. “I would do it all over again too… if only to have him… and of course the twins now.” He reached up and touched the amulet the always hung around his neck. “The only thing I think I would have done differently… was fight for Kasia more.”
“Hey…” Ryan stopped so he could move closer to Bam, hugging him. “You did all you could for her. She knows that.”
“I know… but it doesn’t help the pain anymore than my words can help yours. We all have our regrets to carry…” Bam said as he hugged Ryan.
“Since when did you become so wise?” Ryan joked as they went back to folding laundry.
“Since I stopped pretending I was a know it all and listened to my parents. It’s amazing what you can learn when you shut up for five minutes and listen.” Bam only semi-joked, Ape and Phil had been a blessing to him, teaching him many practical things about raising children; as well as being there when he needed them.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself… you listened… sometimes.”
“Not enough though. But I’m going to make it up to them by being the best father I can be to these boys.” Bam announced.
Ryan chuckled, “Alright Super Dad… just leave some room for trial and error.”
“I’m serious… I want to be as good of a father as mine was to me.”
“To all of us… all of us would have been lost if not for your parents taking us under their wing.” Ryan pointed out.
“They are amazing people. It will be hard to compete with what they did…” Bam paused and looked to the two sleeping babies. “But I think those two are worth it.”
http://vammyluv.livejournal.com/6942.html
http://vammyluv.livejournal.com/7203.html