(no subject)
ok so...there must be some hope for the flowers.
fear is a lack of faith,
and secrets keep me sick
hypocricy is human.
lets not hold each other to things once said in the past
the past does not exist
past is what it is.
so make today your life
make today your best.
dont bother trying to get me or understand me if you dont
because it doesnt really matter
who needs outside validation?
the sick.
the blind.
im weak
but my friends will save the world.
lets be honest with our feelings
forthcoming
and brutal
thats what love is
dont lie.
dont fake it
thats what im supposed to do.
there is hope
ive got faith
it keeps me together
"for these people do not sleep soundly at night, they awaken at intervals and talk of little things and then go back to sleep again"-steinbeck
too long have i lived in lies, in shallowness, in emptyness
enuf.
"and on the same fear came rage, as it always did, the tone of the diffused green light of the sea bottom"
"The black distillate was like the scorpion, or like hunger in the smell of food, or like lonliness when love is witheld. the poison sacs of the town began to manufacture venom and the town swelled and puffed with the pressure of it."
this is why i run from those like you, and feel ill at ease.
"sometimes it rose to an aching chord that caught the throat saying this is safety, this is warmth, this is whole."
I can feel it through myself, although the more i feel that way, or the more i feel this detachment, it takes a toll, on my self, is there a solution? Is there a problem? I think i just choose to not live in the same.
" by submitting to their holy denial of self and now, by spending plenty of our money on the various products they want to sell us, also as capitalism transforms the entire world from the organic (forests, swampts, deserts, rivers) to the inorganic (cities of concrete and steel, suburbs of asphalt and astroturf, wastelands, that have been stripped of all natural resources, garbage dumps) the idea that there is something more worthwhile about synthetic chemicals than natural dirt immplies that this transformation might actually be a good thing..and thus implicitly justifies their profit-motivated destruction of our planet."
...what the words actually say...mean something, but there is something else i feel and think about this one,
follow your heart
have some faith
there is hope
rely on your feelings
we are killing this world
we are killing ourselves
but we dont see it
i am tired of things just feeling empty
i have a problem with being discontent
and then breaking myself into knowing its perfect
when why do i even bother?
when i know things arent coming from the heart
it will always be nothing
it will always be too little too late
and never good enough
so lets cast away masks
lets cast away just getting by
lets lead fulfilling lives with fulfilling relationships
im tired of b.s. in general
i dont need anyones superficial shit
i need to see willingness
i need to see life
i need to see love
there is hope for the flowers.
innosence is a myth.
so dont think my roots arent filthy.
but i dont have to let my petals sink low again.
" accept only the rules and values which really make sense to you. Figure out whats right for you and dont let anyone tell you different but also, make an effort to understand where others are coming from, and evaluate their actions by your own standards not according to some standardized forms"
take what you want and leave the rest behind
this is probably my last post
i dont need this
dont worry about me
this isnt like "Go ask alice"
honest
i just want something more
something more intimate
something real
something where i dont cover up truth
and i dont handicap myself with any extreme.
i just cant furnace my fires anymore.
I cant rely on superficial things
i want to feel it.
if i cant, if you cant
why bother
find what your looking for
i pray that you do, just as i pray for myself.
if you dont get me, dont even try.
Just getting by isnt cutting it
i need fullness
i feel it all around me
but sometimes i run from it
or i look the other way when its so simple
I love my friends
i love funny coincidences
i love everyone who isnt just there
but is there for me, and lets me be there for them
and lets me feel that feeling
that overwhelming feeling that im not alone
and shares their experience, strength and hope
that not all people are cold, hurt and empty
and it lets me know im alive
and i wouldnt want to be anywhere else but here and now.
for i can determine now what i want to put in
there are plenty of things i have put in that didnt work
i have learned alot of lessons
and im sure that i may have to learn alot of those again
but its up to me to make myself
who gives a fuck about thinking
what good has it really done me?
lets be forward about the truth
the freedom from self deception
the willingness to admit wrong
fairness in our dealings with others
with honesty we will develop the faith in a power greater than ourselves.
i am just one, you are just one.
a part of something bigger, something we can change
fuck idealism
and godbless hypocricy
and bless you for who you are
and that you were once who you were
and that you will be.
that you choose to show your love and test it on me
im just a frog
but you can have
-all my love
Michael
shelly
griffin.
forever.
xemoshellycorex@aol.com
Michael Knobelsdorf
14103 Queensbury ln.
Houston, Tx
77079
281-497-3389
281-497-4573
and i dont want to loose you.
any of you.
if you write me, i will write you back
if you send me something, i will send you something back
if you call me, i will call you back.
trust.
i just cant expend myself to streetlights that hum but never say a word.
im just a boy, looking for something.
and i have found alot of it,
i am just trying to center myself around it
this is a program of action.
So i bid you
good
day.
fear is a lack of faith,
and secrets keep me sick
hypocricy is human.
lets not hold each other to things once said in the past
the past does not exist
past is what it is.
so make today your life
make today your best.
dont bother trying to get me or understand me if you dont
because it doesnt really matter
who needs outside validation?
the sick.
the blind.
im weak
but my friends will save the world.
lets be honest with our feelings
forthcoming
and brutal
thats what love is
dont lie.
dont fake it
thats what im supposed to do.
there is hope
ive got faith
it keeps me together
"for these people do not sleep soundly at night, they awaken at intervals and talk of little things and then go back to sleep again"-steinbeck
too long have i lived in lies, in shallowness, in emptyness
enuf.
"and on the same fear came rage, as it always did, the tone of the diffused green light of the sea bottom"
"The black distillate was like the scorpion, or like hunger in the smell of food, or like lonliness when love is witheld. the poison sacs of the town began to manufacture venom and the town swelled and puffed with the pressure of it."
this is why i run from those like you, and feel ill at ease.
"sometimes it rose to an aching chord that caught the throat saying this is safety, this is warmth, this is whole."
I can feel it through myself, although the more i feel that way, or the more i feel this detachment, it takes a toll, on my self, is there a solution? Is there a problem? I think i just choose to not live in the same.
" by submitting to their holy denial of self and now, by spending plenty of our money on the various products they want to sell us, also as capitalism transforms the entire world from the organic (forests, swampts, deserts, rivers) to the inorganic (cities of concrete and steel, suburbs of asphalt and astroturf, wastelands, that have been stripped of all natural resources, garbage dumps) the idea that there is something more worthwhile about synthetic chemicals than natural dirt immplies that this transformation might actually be a good thing..and thus implicitly justifies their profit-motivated destruction of our planet."
...what the words actually say...mean something, but there is something else i feel and think about this one,
follow your heart
have some faith
there is hope
rely on your feelings
we are killing this world
we are killing ourselves
but we dont see it
i am tired of things just feeling empty
i have a problem with being discontent
and then breaking myself into knowing its perfect
when why do i even bother?
when i know things arent coming from the heart
it will always be nothing
it will always be too little too late
and never good enough
so lets cast away masks
lets cast away just getting by
lets lead fulfilling lives with fulfilling relationships
im tired of b.s. in general
i dont need anyones superficial shit
i need to see willingness
i need to see life
i need to see love
there is hope for the flowers.
innosence is a myth.
so dont think my roots arent filthy.
but i dont have to let my petals sink low again.
" accept only the rules and values which really make sense to you. Figure out whats right for you and dont let anyone tell you different but also, make an effort to understand where others are coming from, and evaluate their actions by your own standards not according to some standardized forms"
take what you want and leave the rest behind
this is probably my last post
i dont need this
dont worry about me
this isnt like "Go ask alice"
honest
i just want something more
something more intimate
something real
something where i dont cover up truth
and i dont handicap myself with any extreme.
i just cant furnace my fires anymore.
I cant rely on superficial things
i want to feel it.
if i cant, if you cant
why bother
find what your looking for
i pray that you do, just as i pray for myself.
if you dont get me, dont even try.
Just getting by isnt cutting it
i need fullness
i feel it all around me
but sometimes i run from it
or i look the other way when its so simple
I love my friends
i love funny coincidences
i love everyone who isnt just there
but is there for me, and lets me be there for them
and lets me feel that feeling
that overwhelming feeling that im not alone
and shares their experience, strength and hope
that not all people are cold, hurt and empty
and it lets me know im alive
and i wouldnt want to be anywhere else but here and now.
for i can determine now what i want to put in
there are plenty of things i have put in that didnt work
i have learned alot of lessons
and im sure that i may have to learn alot of those again
but its up to me to make myself
who gives a fuck about thinking
what good has it really done me?
lets be forward about the truth
the freedom from self deception
the willingness to admit wrong
fairness in our dealings with others
with honesty we will develop the faith in a power greater than ourselves.
i am just one, you are just one.
a part of something bigger, something we can change
fuck idealism
and godbless hypocricy
and bless you for who you are
and that you were once who you were
and that you will be.
that you choose to show your love and test it on me
im just a frog
but you can have
-all my love
Michael
shelly
griffin.
forever.
xemoshellycorex@aol.com
Michael Knobelsdorf
14103 Queensbury ln.
Houston, Tx
77079
281-497-3389
281-497-4573
and i dont want to loose you.
any of you.
if you write me, i will write you back
if you send me something, i will send you something back
if you call me, i will call you back.
trust.
i just cant expend myself to streetlights that hum but never say a word.
im just a boy, looking for something.
and i have found alot of it,
i am just trying to center myself around it
this is a program of action.
So i bid you
good
day.