it's been a bumpy ride, but....
i spent an hour looking at live lizards today... and four more hours wandering around the rest of the natural history museum.
i love the upper west side. if i can ever afford a townhouse or a brownstone in the area, i would move there in a second. i know it's not as 'cool' as the village or as 'hip' as the lower east side, but i love it.
besides, with buttercup bakery on 72nd street... why the hell not? :)
i am once again at an odd place here - i'm going back to arizona in a week and a half, i have two more weekends left in the city. i've been good the past few days on exploring, getting out, doing something with my life. i've also seen three movies in three days (devil wears prada, wordplay, superman returns - very mixed reactions) and love it.
i've met up with old friends from high school and new friends in the city. i've gone out in times square and alphabet city. in the same night.
more and more, i'm realizing that if i ever moved here, actually had a job and came to live, that i would never, ever leave. there's something about this city - it's the same idea but in a very different way as london - it sucks you in, it leaves its mark on you, this essence of cool, an envy that everyone else in the world has for new yorkers.
i would love to be one.
some day. not right now, not with d.c. coming up quick - i've also realized this summer how excited i am to be busy again, to DO something with my life instead of museum after museum after boutique after cute funky cafe after park after museum... something real, substantial. and to be able to meet people and tell them i LIVE here, that yes, you can invest time into being my friend, that i'm not leaving in a month or a week... i will not miss the look i get when people decide that it's not worth it to make friends with me because i am temporary. i will not miss the lonliness.
but at least i will be in a city just a few hours bus ride and $35 round trip, instead of a whole day's travel and hundreds of dollars to fly... i will come back and visit. and it won't be so pressured, i won't be rethinking every cent spent, i won't be missing people like crazy (well i might, but it wouldn't be just because i'm here).
i might have said this before, but it's still difficult coming to terms with the idea that it's not always the place that makes you happy, that there's so much else in your life - including yourself - that has an impact. growing up in arizona, wanting so badly to be somewhere better and hipper and bigger and faster paced - it seemed location was everything.
it's hard coming to terms with an ingrained belief when you realize it's wrong. it's something i've been doing a lot of lately...
i'm excited to go home. i guess when it comes down to it, my ultimate home will always be arizona...
...as much as i try to hide it from the rest of the world.
i love the upper west side. if i can ever afford a townhouse or a brownstone in the area, i would move there in a second. i know it's not as 'cool' as the village or as 'hip' as the lower east side, but i love it.
besides, with buttercup bakery on 72nd street... why the hell not? :)
i am once again at an odd place here - i'm going back to arizona in a week and a half, i have two more weekends left in the city. i've been good the past few days on exploring, getting out, doing something with my life. i've also seen three movies in three days (devil wears prada, wordplay, superman returns - very mixed reactions) and love it.
i've met up with old friends from high school and new friends in the city. i've gone out in times square and alphabet city. in the same night.
more and more, i'm realizing that if i ever moved here, actually had a job and came to live, that i would never, ever leave. there's something about this city - it's the same idea but in a very different way as london - it sucks you in, it leaves its mark on you, this essence of cool, an envy that everyone else in the world has for new yorkers.
i would love to be one.
some day. not right now, not with d.c. coming up quick - i've also realized this summer how excited i am to be busy again, to DO something with my life instead of museum after museum after boutique after cute funky cafe after park after museum... something real, substantial. and to be able to meet people and tell them i LIVE here, that yes, you can invest time into being my friend, that i'm not leaving in a month or a week... i will not miss the look i get when people decide that it's not worth it to make friends with me because i am temporary. i will not miss the lonliness.
but at least i will be in a city just a few hours bus ride and $35 round trip, instead of a whole day's travel and hundreds of dollars to fly... i will come back and visit. and it won't be so pressured, i won't be rethinking every cent spent, i won't be missing people like crazy (well i might, but it wouldn't be just because i'm here).
i might have said this before, but it's still difficult coming to terms with the idea that it's not always the place that makes you happy, that there's so much else in your life - including yourself - that has an impact. growing up in arizona, wanting so badly to be somewhere better and hipper and bigger and faster paced - it seemed location was everything.
it's hard coming to terms with an ingrained belief when you realize it's wrong. it's something i've been doing a lot of lately...
i'm excited to go home. i guess when it comes down to it, my ultimate home will always be arizona...
...as much as i try to hide it from the rest of the world.