the worst feeling in the world.
It's 5:17 in the morning and I woke up thinking about it and couldn't even go back to sleep. Before last night, I never actually heard it come from his mouth.. took him 2 days to come around and tell me the whole truth. I thought I was going to be able to handle the truth because basically I already knew, but in my mind I had this hope... this hope that it wasn't true and that he would never cheat on me because I had to hope for something. I got the worst sleep in my life last night, and I've never cried so much in my life.. I don't think I'm exaggereating. Hearing the one you love tell you something like that is one of the hardest things to even grasp. I wanted to know every detail, because that's who I am. I felt like I had a right to know, and I heard it all. I honestly never pictured this happening to me. It just seems like something that happens to other people and I'm always the one hearing about and saying to myself.."thank GOD I don't have a boyfriend who would ever do that to me". Looks like I was wrong. I can't even believe I'm up writing this right now.. my eyes look like shit and so do i. I'm not going to be happy about this anytime soon, but I know that down the road.. this will only make me a stronger person. Trust is going to be something that's hard to get from me, but if you have my trust then you will have everything. No more relationships for me. I don't think I could even try if I wanted to.