You know our sacred dream won't fail ...
So I don't even know what to say anymore, things don't get any better.. Mom is still sick, she's getting worse, slowly. My parents actually talked about whether to put her in a place where they can take care of her 24/7, or have her stay home. Needless to say I opted for the staying home. So here she is, at home. I don't know what good it will do. I mean we do have more nurses coming more often to help out. Things just feel so weird now, I feel so disconnected from her. For the first time in my life I don't even know how she is. Some days we exchange all of a few sentences. It's kind of depressing really. Most things we talk about are what colour popsicle she would like, or if she needs some tea or her water bottle filled up. Some days I just want to rip the IV out of her arm and take her away. Somewhere were no one could hurt her anymore. Where we could just forget everything and continue living as if this whole horrible thing never happened. Like it was all just a bad dream, but I can't.
School is just a blur to me, faded faces in the hallway. Classes I'm half there, could care less. If you have ever seen garden state you will know how I feel. I am sitting there moving at normal speed, and every one around me is moving in fast forward motions. Work is the same, just another thing I do to keep myself occupied. It's hard to know what I am talking about, as most people never experience this. We just need to move on, as impossible as that seems right now. I don't even want to know how my sister is taking all this. I mean she was always the more emotional one between the two of us.
I don't know what else there is. I don't know how much more I can take, as things get worse, the worse I feel. Somehow I know I'll manage, I have to.
School is just a blur to me, faded faces in the hallway. Classes I'm half there, could care less. If you have ever seen garden state you will know how I feel. I am sitting there moving at normal speed, and every one around me is moving in fast forward motions. Work is the same, just another thing I do to keep myself occupied. It's hard to know what I am talking about, as most people never experience this. We just need to move on, as impossible as that seems right now. I don't even want to know how my sister is taking all this. I mean she was always the more emotional one between the two of us.
I don't know what else there is. I don't know how much more I can take, as things get worse, the worse I feel. Somehow I know I'll manage, I have to.