Kristen. I love you so much it's not even funny. This year alone we've become so close. You make me laugh every single day more than once. We're twins. Usually it's not a good thing that we're twins but at least we're in it together. I have been suicidal before. I dont even care who reads this. I've attempted suicide before. But I know now that.. well it's not the thing to do. Recently I have had urges to cut and I actually did earlier this year. But that's nothing like wanting to die. I've felt like nothing mattered and I wasn't proving myself to anyone and I wasn't proving anything to myself so what was the point? Somewhere along the road though, it hit me. All this crap that people keep telling me, and I'm sure they tell you too. Life is what you make it, you only live once, etc. Personally, that's THE most depressing thing that I can think of. How everyone's wasting their lives doing nothing and one day they will die. But when you're only fifteen years old... you don't even know what life is. Your parents aren't helping you but life isn't about your parents. This is just the very beginning. REAL soon, you'll be out of their house, living on your own. As it's happening it's not going to seem like it's moving quickly. But you're going to grow up and think back to these shitty times, but you'll have good times to think back to also. Life is about memories, the good and the bad. You have to go through the shit in order to look back on the things that make you smile. If you spend all of your youth thinking about how you want to die, then it's a waste. We're young and we need to enjoy it. Take your problems one at a time and fix them. Obviously you can't do anything about your parents, you can't change them and you can't get away from them for a long enough amount of time. But there's other things you can change. School, really, is easier when you give it a try. The work isn't easy, but you don't have to deal with the detentions and the teachers bitching and the getting bad grades if you just set aside time each day to do your work. Sit in your room and work on your homework, and actually then you wouldn't have to deal with your parents as much. You can complain to me any time. Sometimes I'm not the best person for advice, or even to talk to at all. But I'm always here to listen. I love you more than you will even know. I do not know what I would do without you.
like i said in that IM, i love you so much, and i dont know what i would do without you. and i'm glad we're twins because without you, everyday would have a lot less laughing and happiness meghan gleason
=D [we can pretend its a upsidedownfrownwithteeth]
We're twins. Usually it's not a good thing that we're twins but at least we're in it together.
I have been suicidal before. I dont even care who reads this. I've attempted suicide before. But I know now that.. well it's not the thing to do. Recently I have had urges to cut and I actually did earlier this year. But that's nothing like wanting to die. I've felt like nothing mattered and I wasn't proving myself to anyone and I wasn't proving anything to myself so what was the point? Somewhere along the road though, it hit me. All this crap that people keep telling me, and I'm sure they tell you too. Life is what you make it, you only live once, etc. Personally, that's THE most depressing thing that I can think of. How everyone's wasting their lives doing nothing and one day they will die. But when you're only fifteen years old... you don't even know what life is. Your parents aren't helping you but life isn't about your parents. This is just the very beginning. REAL soon, you'll be out of their house, living on your own. As it's happening it's not going to seem like it's moving quickly. But you're going to grow up and think back to these shitty times, but you'll have good times to think back to also. Life is about memories, the good and the bad. You have to go through the shit in order to look back on the things that make you smile. If you spend all of your youth thinking about how you want to die, then it's a waste. We're young and we need to enjoy it.
Take your problems one at a time and fix them. Obviously you can't do anything about your parents, you can't change them and you can't get away from them for a long enough amount of time. But there's other things you can change. School, really, is easier when you give it a try. The work isn't easy, but you don't have to deal with the detentions and the teachers bitching and the getting bad grades if you just set aside time each day to do your work. Sit in your room and work on your homework, and actually then you wouldn't have to deal with your parents as much.
You can complain to me any time. Sometimes I'm not the best person for advice, or even to talk to at all. But I'm always here to listen.
I love you more than you will even know. I do not know what I would do without you.
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=D [we can pretend its a upsidedownfrownwithteeth]
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