insecurities at 339am
I.
constantly struggling to reach par,
the limited requirements to be able to be apart of your life.
becoming someone I'm not.
pretending to embody something I don't.
striving to keep things whole.
I work.
wrenching my emotions
and compromising my mental stability,
like the development in a fugue
or a c minor fully diminished chord.
a sick cyclical symphony
written and conducted by my own hand,
but fueled by my might-as-well-be "Intended."
the boy I've fallen in love with
that I don't meet the criteria to be able to love.
II.
E=mc2
perhaps I could get everything done
that I needed done
if I did it in a car.
I've been driving for miles
and my wristwatch no longer matches the car stereo.
III.
I want to think I'm not wasting time.
that it is idiotic to give up on something
or condemn it
due to a feeling.
that things will get better with time.
that it is better to have loved and lost.
IV.
I'd like to be rid of this façade.
I was never fond of masks.
constantly struggling to reach par,
the limited requirements to be able to be apart of your life.
becoming someone I'm not.
pretending to embody something I don't.
striving to keep things whole.
I work.
wrenching my emotions
and compromising my mental stability,
like the development in a fugue
or a c minor fully diminished chord.
a sick cyclical symphony
written and conducted by my own hand,
but fueled by my might-as-well-be "Intended."
the boy I've fallen in love with
that I don't meet the criteria to be able to love.
II.
E=mc2
perhaps I could get everything done
that I needed done
if I did it in a car.
I've been driving for miles
and my wristwatch no longer matches the car stereo.
III.
I want to think I'm not wasting time.
that it is idiotic to give up on something
or condemn it
due to a feeling.
that things will get better with time.
that it is better to have loved and lost.
IV.
I'd like to be rid of this façade.
I was never fond of masks.