A strange day.
Today just feels quite strange. I can't really put a finger on how or why. I've just spent the day almost entirely in bed, too sore to do anything. Yesterday was another high pain day, & today isn't much better. I feel weak & fatigued from it, which is concerning because I'm supposed to be wandering around Boston tomorrow & attending a concert tomorrow night. I just hope I can manage.
I feel almost lonely too for some reason. I don't know why. Eric's off at work, but that's the norm. Kyle did want to play computer games earlier, but I missed him & he's been too busy. I've just done nothing but lay in bed & read some fanfiction. I haven't even watched much TV. Lately I haven't really felt up to watching much TV. I don't know why. There's plenty of shows & movies I'd like to watch or re-watch, but I just haven't felt like I've had a strong enough interest to do so. Even Stranger Things hasn't been constantly on my TV like usual, usually just making a quick appearance if I eat something since I always have to be watching something when I eat.
Maybe the season's changing is playing a part in it. It gets darker much earlier now. By 7:40, it's black outside. The nights have mostly been cooler, much cooler sometimes, which means some leaves are already beginning to turn. Instead of all green, there's been reds, oranges & yellows mottled in here & there. I never enjoy this time of year because of this, because summer has come to an end & the leaves are going to fall soon. The leaves I wait month to see. By the end of October they're pretty much all gone, & I have to wait until April to start seeing them start to grow again. I'm not crazy about the fact that we have more months without green leaves than months with green leaves.
It's still warm out. The computer weather widget thing says it's 72 outside, so it's extremly comfortable. It's just the sun is starting to look more wrong on everything outside, & of course the fact that it's dark by 7:30-ish isn't helping matters either.
Even with that, I still don't know why today's just so... Strange. I don't understand why.
I wonder if the fact I'm reading something other than my usual fanfiction material is also making things feel weird? It's still fanfiction, but for something other than Stranger Things for a change. I'm enjoying it, but it is different.
Or maybe I'm anxious about tomorrow & it's making today all off?
Who knows?
Anyway, I don't have much more to report. I saw Megadeth 4 days ago, on Wednesday, but I can jot more about that later. I'm also now 37, which is a frightening thought considering the fact I started using online journals when I was 16. (With Blurty being the first one I had.) It's mind-boggling to me because mentally, I don't feel 37. I often forget that I'm in my 30's now. I feel so much more... Immature, mentally. (I almost used the word younger, but probably immature is more fitting) Physically I feel older of course, but when the pain isn't hurting me a lot like it has been for the last couple of days, it's easy to forget that I'm older than I realize.
Also I wish I could just stop hurting. I wasn't doing too bad in the summer, which made me think that my prescriptions might've been helping. It's been the last week, week & a half maybe that I've started to feel lousy physically. I had a higher pain day too last week, bad enough that I couldn't sleep. I do not like these bad days. I wonder if it's because the seasons are shifting yet again, this time into the cooler/colder months? (Much like last year's dip in late September/October that just got worse into November)
I just wish I didn't hurt.