(no subject)
this morning, my mom, my dad, and i went to the nursing home to have christmas with my grandma. she was pretty good today (she has late progression alzheimer's) - she only repeated things a few times, and she said she was going to wear her new socks to work. but other than that, she was pretty with it, and we joked and laughed. it was nice.
buuut i had to listen to my parents singing christmas carols the whole way there and that made me cranky, because there are only like three christmas songs in the entire world that i like. and i don't like christmas. also, i only got two hours of sleep last night, so that might be it.
things with kristen are.. odd. the other night we talked/argued because i don't want to be broken up, but she didn't say otherwise, so. i don't know if that means that she doesn't want to get back together, or she just didn't want to say anything, or what. but i didn't push the issue. it's stupidly weird talking to her, because it's like we're "friends". we talk about random, non-important things, and last night something was said about the break-up and she started crying. which i feel bad about but it's like.. we're broken up. i can't really do anything about it now. you know? (that wasn't mean to sound mean, but what am i supposed to do?) i don't know, i'm doing okay. i haven't cried yet because i don't think it has fully sunk in. but i can feel myself closing off another part of me, as protection, and as a past-in-the-past sort of thing, and i'm just.. trying to go day by day. so. whatevaaa.
SORRY I'M RAMBLY. ANYWAY, HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE. TIME FOR A NAP KBYE.
and the truth is i've been dreaming of some tired tranquil place
where the weather won't get trapped inside my bones
and if all the years of searching find one sympathetic face
then its there i will plant these seeds and make my home.
buuut i had to listen to my parents singing christmas carols the whole way there and that made me cranky, because there are only like three christmas songs in the entire world that i like. and i don't like christmas. also, i only got two hours of sleep last night, so that might be it.
things with kristen are.. odd. the other night we talked/argued because i don't want to be broken up, but she didn't say otherwise, so. i don't know if that means that she doesn't want to get back together, or she just didn't want to say anything, or what. but i didn't push the issue. it's stupidly weird talking to her, because it's like we're "friends". we talk about random, non-important things, and last night something was said about the break-up and she started crying. which i feel bad about but it's like.. we're broken up. i can't really do anything about it now. you know? (that wasn't mean to sound mean, but what am i supposed to do?) i don't know, i'm doing okay. i haven't cried yet because i don't think it has fully sunk in. but i can feel myself closing off another part of me, as protection, and as a past-in-the-past sort of thing, and i'm just.. trying to go day by day. so. whatevaaa.
SORRY I'M RAMBLY. ANYWAY, HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE. TIME FOR A NAP KBYE.
and the truth is i've been dreaming of some tired tranquil place
where the weather won't get trapped inside my bones
and if all the years of searching find one sympathetic face
then its there i will plant these seeds and make my home.