In the fucking order I think of them
1. My dad turned fifty-three today.
2. So I'm reading White Teeth by Zadie Smith, and to be honest, I'm underwhelmed by it. It's good, reading in parts like a British Barbara Kingsolver, but I don't know. The language is wrong, it's middlebrow aiming for highbrow, the mostly jovial tone gets in its way. Maybe it has something to do with her age (he says, knowing she was his age when the book came out five years ago), because it seems that Smith has the basic know-how of what goes into a good novel (multiple themes, meditation on contemporary social/political/identity issues, great dialogue) but like a novice cook, can't keep from calling attention to them (if history is a pivotal theme, it's best not to mention the word "history" a lot). I do, however, want to finish it. Which is more than I can say for a few books I've started reading.
3. What happened with the house is that my roommates, after offering me a room, after discussing with me the fact that they were ideally looking for a woman, after living with me for four days, decided that they'd much rather live with a woman and asked me to leave. They did give me a month, but I decided I'd rather save my money, and I was too angry to see them every day besides. I perfectly understand the wish to be gender-separated, I just wish they'd thought this through before I fucking moved in. Kenari wishes to hang out again, and I really don't know just how long of a talk I really want to have with her. I suppose the adult thing to do would be to express my anger and work it out. Of course I want to twist the knife; of course I don't think I have it in me.
A lot of people have asked if I feel rejected, and the answer is no: I would've felt rejected if they said no, you can't move in, and I would've gotten over it in a day. I wish I felt rejected; I feel betrayed. I feel stabbed in the back. Strangers wouldn't do this, and this happened between friends. Or, so I thought. Maybe in that way I feel rejected.
4. I need to stay awake because I start the night shift tomorrow (today) and I'm finding it difficult.
5. Kate Belden and I have been lovers for thirteen months, which is the record (Karen notwithstanding, and she doesn't since cumulatively I saw her, maybe, a month over the course of our sixteen month or so relationship. Not because we're no longer on speaking terms. Which sometimes I feel bad about, sometimes I don't, sometimes I don't remember at all). Sometimes I think I'm better at being bitter than I am at being in love. I hope that's not true.
6. Nobody writes to the Colonel, and nobody signs my comment sheet.
2. So I'm reading White Teeth by Zadie Smith, and to be honest, I'm underwhelmed by it. It's good, reading in parts like a British Barbara Kingsolver, but I don't know. The language is wrong, it's middlebrow aiming for highbrow, the mostly jovial tone gets in its way. Maybe it has something to do with her age (he says, knowing she was his age when the book came out five years ago), because it seems that Smith has the basic know-how of what goes into a good novel (multiple themes, meditation on contemporary social/political/identity issues, great dialogue) but like a novice cook, can't keep from calling attention to them (if history is a pivotal theme, it's best not to mention the word "history" a lot). I do, however, want to finish it. Which is more than I can say for a few books I've started reading.
3. What happened with the house is that my roommates, after offering me a room, after discussing with me the fact that they were ideally looking for a woman, after living with me for four days, decided that they'd much rather live with a woman and asked me to leave. They did give me a month, but I decided I'd rather save my money, and I was too angry to see them every day besides. I perfectly understand the wish to be gender-separated, I just wish they'd thought this through before I fucking moved in. Kenari wishes to hang out again, and I really don't know just how long of a talk I really want to have with her. I suppose the adult thing to do would be to express my anger and work it out. Of course I want to twist the knife; of course I don't think I have it in me.
A lot of people have asked if I feel rejected, and the answer is no: I would've felt rejected if they said no, you can't move in, and I would've gotten over it in a day. I wish I felt rejected; I feel betrayed. I feel stabbed in the back. Strangers wouldn't do this, and this happened between friends. Or, so I thought. Maybe in that way I feel rejected.
4. I need to stay awake because I start the night shift tomorrow (today) and I'm finding it difficult.
5. Kate Belden and I have been lovers for thirteen months, which is the record (Karen notwithstanding, and she doesn't since cumulatively I saw her, maybe, a month over the course of our sixteen month or so relationship. Not because we're no longer on speaking terms. Which sometimes I feel bad about, sometimes I don't, sometimes I don't remember at all). Sometimes I think I'm better at being bitter than I am at being in love. I hope that's not true.
6. Nobody writes to the Colonel, and nobody signs my comment sheet.