if i sound cynical, it's an accident
hi, ok. a post is long due.
basically, my life amounts to this: it has been, like, what? 2 days. even when i'm in a room of 20 people i'm lonely and i can't express it.
i crave being taken seriously, and wish i wasn't automatically thought of as just another dumb young teenage white materialistic girl whose decisions can be easily influenced and doesn't know what she wants in life so she turns to the media to dictate the perfect body or establish the ideal personality and style and then whines and complains and cries for extended periods of time just because her boyfriend is far away for awhile and she feels helpless and hopeless and friendless and needy.
The problem is, I need to accept myself as not being these things before others cease to see them in me.
A bigger problem is making sure I'm not these things, because right now I'm pretty sure the last one characterizes me perfectly.
Other than that, I guess I'm okay.
Waking up in the morning is not something I resent, so I guess that establishes my past week or so as having been 'a good summer so far'.
basically, my life amounts to this: it has been, like, what? 2 days. even when i'm in a room of 20 people i'm lonely and i can't express it.
i crave being taken seriously, and wish i wasn't automatically thought of as just another dumb young teenage white materialistic girl whose decisions can be easily influenced and doesn't know what she wants in life so she turns to the media to dictate the perfect body or establish the ideal personality and style and then whines and complains and cries for extended periods of time just because her boyfriend is far away for awhile and she feels helpless and hopeless and friendless and needy.
The problem is, I need to accept myself as not being these things before others cease to see them in me.
A bigger problem is making sure I'm not these things, because right now I'm pretty sure the last one characterizes me perfectly.
Other than that, I guess I'm okay.
Waking up in the morning is not something I resent, so I guess that establishes my past week or so as having been 'a good summer so far'.