(no subject)
Chaos. Total fucking chaos. And Now Im pissed. i have a feeling Im gonna lose some friends today.
alright, ill put what's bugging me in number order. However, they dont really annoy in this particular order, but we'll see. Anyways here goes nothing. I dive in at the deep end...
1. My friend is a bastard. i dont know why, but I went to his myspace, and just seeing his face pissed me off for a second. Myabe I'm the bastard, because i can't control my own jelousy, but whatever. When you suck it up and deal and then your friend says "oh man, this must be killing you. No really, it must be. Man, it would kill you if you ever read one of our convos." (alright not exactly like this, but that's pretty much the point) And just so you know, the conversation was about how much one loves the other, and vice versa. Apparently one wasn't fully covinced of the other's conviction. Because he's a fucking retard. So I try to talk to him about it. Honestly i saw things the other way around, but whatever. And I was fine. I really was. Until he whipped THAT on me. Bastard. You just broke me. Happy now? I can feel everything I've kept inside just waiting to explode! And it's not could. I can fight my own demons. But i dont think you, or anyone else, can. And you just opened pandora's box, filled with all my vices and demons. Good job. Bastard
see, told you I'd lost it. Oh i didn't say that. well, it can be assumed now cant it? yeah, anyway, onto my second point...
2. I am jelous. Extraordinarily jelous. Of both of you. its not something as petty as i still have feelings for you, and the fact that i cant have you. No, its more, you are in love. Deep fucking love that i wish i had since the first fucking grade! You know how sickening that is? pretty fucked up at least. yeah, so Im jealous. Because I doubt I'll find the same love you two share. And even if i do, I'll probably push it away. My deepest fear is that I dont look for love, but i look for sadness. And I have nothing to change that thought. Because everywhere that I've felt love I've felt some sort of sadness. Be it me thinking i loved LP, which led to our break up... or Ca and her love. Or even in the first grade, where all i said was that i liked a girl. And it made her cry. And jenny is great. She hasnt hurt me at all. And still, there's that sadness! Christ, maybe i should stop being such a baby...
I think I'll leave it at that. maybe I'll put up the rest of my issues. We'll see.
"And now you crossed that line
You can't come back
Tell me how does it feel now
It's too late too much to forget about
Can't stop now
How does it feel now
I'm only asking because I wanna know
How...you...wanna...feel"
"You do not believe i am gone, but i am!"
"No Life but nothing's dies.
No lights but quite the show
just as long as no one ever knows
emotion is pantomime"
"From above, a rain of ashes, Desends Anathema"
"Hey all I want is what's real
Something I touch and can feel
I'll hold it close and never let it go
Said why, why do we live this life
With all this hate inside
I'll give it away cause I don't want it no more
Please help me find a place
Somewhere far away
Yes I'll go and you'll never see me again"
The End
alright, ill put what's bugging me in number order. However, they dont really annoy in this particular order, but we'll see. Anyways here goes nothing. I dive in at the deep end...
1. My friend is a bastard. i dont know why, but I went to his myspace, and just seeing his face pissed me off for a second. Myabe I'm the bastard, because i can't control my own jelousy, but whatever. When you suck it up and deal and then your friend says "oh man, this must be killing you. No really, it must be. Man, it would kill you if you ever read one of our convos." (alright not exactly like this, but that's pretty much the point) And just so you know, the conversation was about how much one loves the other, and vice versa. Apparently one wasn't fully covinced of the other's conviction. Because he's a fucking retard. So I try to talk to him about it. Honestly i saw things the other way around, but whatever. And I was fine. I really was. Until he whipped THAT on me. Bastard. You just broke me. Happy now? I can feel everything I've kept inside just waiting to explode! And it's not could. I can fight my own demons. But i dont think you, or anyone else, can. And you just opened pandora's box, filled with all my vices and demons. Good job. Bastard
see, told you I'd lost it. Oh i didn't say that. well, it can be assumed now cant it? yeah, anyway, onto my second point...
2. I am jelous. Extraordinarily jelous. Of both of you. its not something as petty as i still have feelings for you, and the fact that i cant have you. No, its more, you are in love. Deep fucking love that i wish i had since the first fucking grade! You know how sickening that is? pretty fucked up at least. yeah, so Im jealous. Because I doubt I'll find the same love you two share. And even if i do, I'll probably push it away. My deepest fear is that I dont look for love, but i look for sadness. And I have nothing to change that thought. Because everywhere that I've felt love I've felt some sort of sadness. Be it me thinking i loved LP, which led to our break up... or Ca and her love. Or even in the first grade, where all i said was that i liked a girl. And it made her cry. And jenny is great. She hasnt hurt me at all. And still, there's that sadness! Christ, maybe i should stop being such a baby...
I think I'll leave it at that. maybe I'll put up the rest of my issues. We'll see.
"And now you crossed that line
You can't come back
Tell me how does it feel now
It's too late too much to forget about
Can't stop now
How does it feel now
I'm only asking because I wanna know
How...you...wanna...feel"
"You do not believe i am gone, but i am!"
"No Life but nothing's dies.
No lights but quite the show
just as long as no one ever knows
emotion is pantomime"
"From above, a rain of ashes, Desends Anathema"
"Hey all I want is what's real
Something I touch and can feel
I'll hold it close and never let it go
Said why, why do we live this life
With all this hate inside
I'll give it away cause I don't want it no more
Please help me find a place
Somewhere far away
Yes I'll go and you'll never see me again"
The End