so, is it bad that i just want to curl up and cry?

[___theninja]

i do want to go curl up and cry.
i'm really tired.
yesterday was emotionally draining in friend and love ways.
I haven't been sleeping at all.
and i'm lying to people and telling them I am.

i don't want people to worry.
is that bad?
yeah, it is.

connor's got a lot of stuff going on with him.
And i realize he wants to be left alone for a while. In talking about things going on.
But that makes me feel left out. Kristen understands. She helped make me feel better yesterday with everything.
And that sounds lame for me to feel left out about. Left out isn't good to use.
I just...I don't know, it sounds lame.
I didn't want to be grouped with "everyone everything" for Connor.
I wanted to be Meeghan, his girlfriend, the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
And I understand it. i'm not going to push it because that would be stupid and then i wouldn't be respecting what he had asked me to do.
but it is...disheartening for me, i guess.
but i respect him. and i love him with all my heart. So i want push my way into things he doesn't want to talk about.
i'm going to be here when he needs me.
that's all i can do.

so. school is lame. i don't like it for various reasons.
home life sucks.
i can't wait until i go to college.

i'm just...
unhappy.
and i really don't want anyone to know that.
because people worry.
and i hate it when people worry.
people have enough stuff to deal with without listening to me complain about various unhappy aspects in my life, even though i have life pretty good.

oh well.
suck it up, meegs.
life is going to be fine.