saying goodbye is always the hardest.
a lot has happened since my last entry.
nothing i really care to talk about at this moment.
so many things, so many sad and happy things.
i'm still with connor.
don't worry.
completely in love.
i just wanted to say a few things.
i had hoped that saying goodbye would get easier by the third time i had to do it.
well, not really the third time.
the first time was when he went away to UCF, but i didn't get to see him the day he left, so it was the night before and it just didn't fell...real. it was just like any other day during the summer, just like if we were going to see each other the very next day. We didn't.
I didn't seem him for about four days.
Four, unbearable days. The next time i had to say goodbye was when his family was moving to st. pete's. But i was leaving to go to the beach, so it wasn't a real goodbye again. It was just, ya know, i was going on yet another vacation with my family and i would see him in a week.
Make that two and half weeks.
I saw him for about three or four hours. Dinner and a walk around the mall with my parents. The goodbye was quick, painless. Lots of kissing, since we hadn't done that. Still just sort of, us. Doing what we do every night we saw each other.
We saw each other before i went back to school. A weekend of fun at his house. So much fun. And he drove me to exit 53, Bearss. I sat in his car and cried. Kissed him. Cried some more. Realized that, even though i would be seeing him in less than a week, it was real. we didn't get to see each other how we used to.
The next weekend was much harder. I hugged him, we had been laughing together. We usually are laughing, so i'm only guessing we were laughing. It's usually a pretty good guess we were. Then it just hit me. When was I going to see him again? It's painful not to see connor sometimes. And i'm completely in love with him. It was always known, and i think that was when my dad realized it. When I walked back into the house, bawling my eyes out because i had no idea when i may see connor next. It was hard. Everything made me cry. I surrounded myself with him and waited patiently for him to call me to tell me he was safe.
This weekend was easier than last time, but still hard. One minute you're just so full of joy and it's all bubbling over and you have no idea what could make it end. and it does. Connor made an interesting point this weekend how an author can make a story so funny and hilarious and then make it serious and real. That's how life is. That's how saying goodbye it is.
With Connor, i'm always happy. Always in a good mood. Then...i have to say goodbye and it's the point of the book where everything becomes serious. Reality hits.
That's just all there is.
and that's all i really wanted to say.
nothing i really care to talk about at this moment.
so many things, so many sad and happy things.
i'm still with connor.
don't worry.
completely in love.
i just wanted to say a few things.
i had hoped that saying goodbye would get easier by the third time i had to do it.
well, not really the third time.
the first time was when he went away to UCF, but i didn't get to see him the day he left, so it was the night before and it just didn't fell...real. it was just like any other day during the summer, just like if we were going to see each other the very next day. We didn't.
I didn't seem him for about four days.
Four, unbearable days. The next time i had to say goodbye was when his family was moving to st. pete's. But i was leaving to go to the beach, so it wasn't a real goodbye again. It was just, ya know, i was going on yet another vacation with my family and i would see him in a week.
Make that two and half weeks.
I saw him for about three or four hours. Dinner and a walk around the mall with my parents. The goodbye was quick, painless. Lots of kissing, since we hadn't done that. Still just sort of, us. Doing what we do every night we saw each other.
We saw each other before i went back to school. A weekend of fun at his house. So much fun. And he drove me to exit 53, Bearss. I sat in his car and cried. Kissed him. Cried some more. Realized that, even though i would be seeing him in less than a week, it was real. we didn't get to see each other how we used to.
The next weekend was much harder. I hugged him, we had been laughing together. We usually are laughing, so i'm only guessing we were laughing. It's usually a pretty good guess we were. Then it just hit me. When was I going to see him again? It's painful not to see connor sometimes. And i'm completely in love with him. It was always known, and i think that was when my dad realized it. When I walked back into the house, bawling my eyes out because i had no idea when i may see connor next. It was hard. Everything made me cry. I surrounded myself with him and waited patiently for him to call me to tell me he was safe.
This weekend was easier than last time, but still hard. One minute you're just so full of joy and it's all bubbling over and you have no idea what could make it end. and it does. Connor made an interesting point this weekend how an author can make a story so funny and hilarious and then make it serious and real. That's how life is. That's how saying goodbye it is.
With Connor, i'm always happy. Always in a good mood. Then...i have to say goodbye and it's the point of the book where everything becomes serious. Reality hits.
That's just all there is.
and that's all i really wanted to say.