someone please tell me
why is it that more often than not doing the right thing hurts so much and feels so horrible?
and why is it that it never quite feels worth everything you have to go through afterward?
and why is it that i pretty much always bring it on myself?
and why is it that i can't just do the right thing to begin with?
why do i always have to somehow find a way to redeem the wrong things that i've done so much further down the road?
i don't want to be this person.
i want to be the person you can always count on.
the person you can always turn to who will never let you down.
and i'm not. and i'm so sorry.
and why is it that it never quite feels worth everything you have to go through afterward?
and why is it that i pretty much always bring it on myself?
and why is it that i can't just do the right thing to begin with?
why do i always have to somehow find a way to redeem the wrong things that i've done so much further down the road?
i don't want to be this person.
i want to be the person you can always count on.
the person you can always turn to who will never let you down.
and i'm not. and i'm so sorry.