You keep coming back disesembled and i, keep losing this fight...
yea.. my last week of school.. its been..
sad... i guess... :(
i didn't get a yearbook...
i stood in line for like half an hour..
getting pushed around by huge, fat, black girls
and tall, smelly indian girls...
only to be told that yearbooks were sold out...
my senior year and i don't get any of the memories to keep..
of course i'll always have the ones in my head.. my heart..
but still.. i won't have anything written from all my friends..
im going to miss everyone SO much...
found out today that my nina can't come to graduation
a couple months ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer..
now, after going through kemo.. shes experiencing the side affects...
her legs have been giving out on her.. and she just collapses...
it makes me so sad...
sometimes i feel that my family doesn't care..
but then thers always that spark of hope that they do...
my parents, especially my dad, has like no faith in me
whatsoever...
i'm the first out of 6 children to go to college..
and i'm just getting told shit about it..
stuff like.. "its all just a game","she's just fucking around with us"
yea.. little do they no that i'm totally serious about getting out of here.
i WILL be something more than my dad someday...
yesterday i came home all upset cuz i couldn't get a yearbook..
so i called blake.. i love him..
we talked for what seemed like forever..
and i just spilled out my heart out to him..
its nice to have someone to talk to about everything..
usually i just keep it inside..
but once i began talking to him.. i couldnt' stop
everything came out...
i miss him so much.... too bad he's not coming this weekend..
sigh.. everything is so confusing... : /
sometimes i wonder why god put me here..
for some reason EVERYTHING that could possibly go wrong..
goes wrong..
all the what ifs that people think of when they do something
happens to me...
its gay....
my journals lately have been so long and random..
but o well.. if you read it..
thanks i guess... or.. yea.. :)
i have my pre cal final tomarrow.. i need to get a d or better..
i should go study...
i definately think we should do a road trip.. :D
<333333333333333
sad... i guess... :(
i didn't get a yearbook...
i stood in line for like half an hour..
getting pushed around by huge, fat, black girls
and tall, smelly indian girls...
only to be told that yearbooks were sold out...
my senior year and i don't get any of the memories to keep..
of course i'll always have the ones in my head.. my heart..
but still.. i won't have anything written from all my friends..
im going to miss everyone SO much...
found out today that my nina can't come to graduation
a couple months ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer..
now, after going through kemo.. shes experiencing the side affects...
her legs have been giving out on her.. and she just collapses...
it makes me so sad...
sometimes i feel that my family doesn't care..
but then thers always that spark of hope that they do...
my parents, especially my dad, has like no faith in me
whatsoever...
i'm the first out of 6 children to go to college..
and i'm just getting told shit about it..
stuff like.. "its all just a game","she's just fucking around with us"
yea.. little do they no that i'm totally serious about getting out of here.
i WILL be something more than my dad someday...
yesterday i came home all upset cuz i couldn't get a yearbook..
so i called blake.. i love him..
we talked for what seemed like forever..
and i just spilled out my heart out to him..
its nice to have someone to talk to about everything..
usually i just keep it inside..
but once i began talking to him.. i couldnt' stop
everything came out...
i miss him so much.... too bad he's not coming this weekend..
sigh.. everything is so confusing... : /
sometimes i wonder why god put me here..
for some reason EVERYTHING that could possibly go wrong..
goes wrong..
all the what ifs that people think of when they do something
happens to me...
its gay....
my journals lately have been so long and random..
but o well.. if you read it..
thanks i guess... or.. yea.. :)
i have my pre cal final tomarrow.. i need to get a d or better..
i should go study...
i definately think we should do a road trip.. :D
<333333333333333