(no subject)
i had a sudden urge to jump in my car and drive as far away from here as possible earlier. i thought about just up and leaving my life here and going up to michigan to start over. i would get the things i needed and pile them in my car and just leave. i wish i could sometimes, but theres no way i could begin to leave right now; not how things are at the moment. as much as i think it might make her life easier, i cant leave her. its not the fact that i cant because i dont want to lose someone else. its the fact that i really have found someone i want to be with, and i dont want her to be with someone who will treat her the way he does. love is more than money, i hate to tell him that. so my sudden urge isnt what i want after all, even though i have a feeling it is minutes away from happening every day.