when i look at the stars...
silly story about the life of a paladin
its very funny
gonna be part of a series entitled "The Pareal World"
ya clever I know
Looking out the window, I saw the wind blow with the trees, and the birds singing to each other.
It was just after sundown and the world outside had that orangey glow to it. Everything looked hazey and quite beautiful.
It was just the kinda day that..
MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH!
I WANT BLOOD!
BLOOD MORE BLOOD!
VIOLENCE!
DEAD ORCS ALL OVER THE GROUND!
KILL DEATH MURDER!
ONSLAUGHT!
GIGANTIC SWORDS AND LOUD BATTLE CRYS!
AND BLOOD
CAN'T FORGET THE BLOOD!
It was then that I noticed that every person in the tavern was staring at me.
"Attention all thout in the tavern staring at me!" I announced, "I suffer from the rare disease known as H I Vizzle! So thou excuse thy rude behavior!"
They actually feel for that crap haha.
Everyone turned away from me and began to talk to their friends, and drink amongst themselves.
I hate being a paladin.
"Bar keep," I yelled, "throw me a special beer! Those ones for 50 copper!"
50 copper is dirt cheap!
"Sure," he said. He caustiously handed me the drink, "Aren't paladins, like yourself, not supposed to drink?"
I glanced at him.
"Thou does not give a shit."
Laughing, he handed it to me, and I quaffed it.
Whiping my mouth, I ate a peanut, and laid my head down on my hands.
I thought about the mission I had gone through today.
A druid by the name of Kranuss, a good friend of mine, had come to a strange place called Dustwallow Marsh with me to defeat a dark priest who burned innocent children with his mind. This guy was a maniac, but nonetheless powerful so we proceeded to him with great caution.
The plan: Kranuss was going to distract this guy, why I unleashed all holy hell on his shadowy ass.
It didn't work.
This guys senses were off the chart.
Even in Kranuss' cat form he detected him and blew his head off in one mighty, mana-costly blow. Luckily, for me Kranuss got one nice swipe at his back, and was vulnerable for me to knock the crap out of him.
Drawing my claymore (otherwise known as a big sword for all those who are retarded..*cough* I mean mentally ill) I stabbed his punk ass several times and using my god given powers, excorcised him. He was dead in 1 min. flat. As for Kranuss...I was upset.
As I was ressurecting him the dead priest's sex slave buddies attacked me. 3 of them!
I stood up drew my claymore and charged them.
I cut the first one in half.
I used my special powers of jugdementing powers on the other one.
And I threw a hammer at the last one. Breaking his skull...it was hardcore PUNK RAWK MAN!
I sheathed my sword and decided to use a spell to go home.
I smelled of rotting shit, and blood, so I obviously needed a shower..
Half way through taking my armor off I realized I left Kranuss dead in the middle of the marsh.
I was not putting that armor back on!
Screw that!
It wasn't till halfway through my shower that I felt bad for him.
So I came to this bar to drink away my sorrows.
The beer here is only 50 copper, so why not?
"Anything wrong?" asked the bar keep, noticing my head was down.
"Yes," I replied. A thought smacked me in the ass! "I say Bar Keep, you must help me! Im havin' terrible troubles! You must assist me! PROVIDE ME WITH BEER!"
I pulled him from behind the counter and I ran out the door.
I ran all the way to Dustwallow Marsh, to the exact place where Kranuss' body laid.
There it was.
His body still in cat form..but there were flies, and worms eating away at his carcuss..kinda gross...
So I began the ressurection.
"First Bar Keep, I ask for a beer!"
He handed it to me, I drank it!
"Now that I am feeling tipsy..hicup...I will beginth the Ressurectionnnth. GODETH ON HIGHESTH I..aw shit hold on bar keep I forgot my line let me start over...ok GODETH ON HIGHESTH I CALL APON YOU TO GRANT ME THE POWERS OF RESSURECTION! IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT (aka Tony Danza) I REDEM THEE!! REDEMPTION!!!!!!"
Blinding light shot from my hands.
I heard bar keep fall down a hill, and splash into the water, I heard him scream, and I heard the distinct noise of an alligator eating a bar keep, it continued for a while, it was starting to freak me out, then I heard the sound of a ginormous monster arise from the water and eat the alligator, with the bar keep half-eaten. I ahve amazing hearing if you cant tell.
It was then that something struck me on the back.
THAT BASTARD!
IT WAS THE GIMP I KILLED WITH THE HAMMER!
HE'S STILL ALIVE?
It was then that the Master Chief jumped down from the sky, with two gats, and he lit the gimp up!
I turned my head and said, "Hey! Thanks Master Chief!"
"No problem, LOLZ IM A MODDER!" And with that he jumped back into the sky.
Finally, the ressurection was done.
Kranuss in his regular night elf form stood up!
"Yo, Kranuss thou!"
"Sup crunk head?"
"Nuttin. What thou wanna do?"
"Go to the bar?"
"Kay!"
And we went to the bar!
The only problem was we had to wait for the bar keep to spawn back at the tavern.
When he spawned he shot me directly in the face.
It was Krauss' turn to rez.
-Jason A. Bittner
so whos still up for sex?
-Jason
its very funny
gonna be part of a series entitled "The Pareal World"
ya clever I know
Looking out the window, I saw the wind blow with the trees, and the birds singing to each other.
It was just after sundown and the world outside had that orangey glow to it. Everything looked hazey and quite beautiful.
It was just the kinda day that..
MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH!
I WANT BLOOD!
BLOOD MORE BLOOD!
VIOLENCE!
DEAD ORCS ALL OVER THE GROUND!
KILL DEATH MURDER!
ONSLAUGHT!
GIGANTIC SWORDS AND LOUD BATTLE CRYS!
AND BLOOD
CAN'T FORGET THE BLOOD!
It was then that I noticed that every person in the tavern was staring at me.
"Attention all thout in the tavern staring at me!" I announced, "I suffer from the rare disease known as H I Vizzle! So thou excuse thy rude behavior!"
They actually feel for that crap haha.
Everyone turned away from me and began to talk to their friends, and drink amongst themselves.
I hate being a paladin.
"Bar keep," I yelled, "throw me a special beer! Those ones for 50 copper!"
50 copper is dirt cheap!
"Sure," he said. He caustiously handed me the drink, "Aren't paladins, like yourself, not supposed to drink?"
I glanced at him.
"Thou does not give a shit."
Laughing, he handed it to me, and I quaffed it.
Whiping my mouth, I ate a peanut, and laid my head down on my hands.
I thought about the mission I had gone through today.
A druid by the name of Kranuss, a good friend of mine, had come to a strange place called Dustwallow Marsh with me to defeat a dark priest who burned innocent children with his mind. This guy was a maniac, but nonetheless powerful so we proceeded to him with great caution.
The plan: Kranuss was going to distract this guy, why I unleashed all holy hell on his shadowy ass.
It didn't work.
This guys senses were off the chart.
Even in Kranuss' cat form he detected him and blew his head off in one mighty, mana-costly blow. Luckily, for me Kranuss got one nice swipe at his back, and was vulnerable for me to knock the crap out of him.
Drawing my claymore (otherwise known as a big sword for all those who are retarded..*cough* I mean mentally ill) I stabbed his punk ass several times and using my god given powers, excorcised him. He was dead in 1 min. flat. As for Kranuss...I was upset.
As I was ressurecting him the dead priest's sex slave buddies attacked me. 3 of them!
I stood up drew my claymore and charged them.
I cut the first one in half.
I used my special powers of jugdementing powers on the other one.
And I threw a hammer at the last one. Breaking his skull...it was hardcore PUNK RAWK MAN!
I sheathed my sword and decided to use a spell to go home.
I smelled of rotting shit, and blood, so I obviously needed a shower..
Half way through taking my armor off I realized I left Kranuss dead in the middle of the marsh.
I was not putting that armor back on!
Screw that!
It wasn't till halfway through my shower that I felt bad for him.
So I came to this bar to drink away my sorrows.
The beer here is only 50 copper, so why not?
"Anything wrong?" asked the bar keep, noticing my head was down.
"Yes," I replied. A thought smacked me in the ass! "I say Bar Keep, you must help me! Im havin' terrible troubles! You must assist me! PROVIDE ME WITH BEER!"
I pulled him from behind the counter and I ran out the door.
I ran all the way to Dustwallow Marsh, to the exact place where Kranuss' body laid.
There it was.
His body still in cat form..but there were flies, and worms eating away at his carcuss..kinda gross...
So I began the ressurection.
"First Bar Keep, I ask for a beer!"
He handed it to me, I drank it!
"Now that I am feeling tipsy..hicup...I will beginth the Ressurectionnnth. GODETH ON HIGHESTH I..aw shit hold on bar keep I forgot my line let me start over...ok GODETH ON HIGHESTH I CALL APON YOU TO GRANT ME THE POWERS OF RESSURECTION! IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT (aka Tony Danza) I REDEM THEE!! REDEMPTION!!!!!!"
Blinding light shot from my hands.
I heard bar keep fall down a hill, and splash into the water, I heard him scream, and I heard the distinct noise of an alligator eating a bar keep, it continued for a while, it was starting to freak me out, then I heard the sound of a ginormous monster arise from the water and eat the alligator, with the bar keep half-eaten. I ahve amazing hearing if you cant tell.
It was then that something struck me on the back.
THAT BASTARD!
IT WAS THE GIMP I KILLED WITH THE HAMMER!
HE'S STILL ALIVE?
It was then that the Master Chief jumped down from the sky, with two gats, and he lit the gimp up!
I turned my head and said, "Hey! Thanks Master Chief!"
"No problem, LOLZ IM A MODDER!" And with that he jumped back into the sky.
Finally, the ressurection was done.
Kranuss in his regular night elf form stood up!
"Yo, Kranuss thou!"
"Sup crunk head?"
"Nuttin. What thou wanna do?"
"Go to the bar?"
"Kay!"
And we went to the bar!
The only problem was we had to wait for the bar keep to spawn back at the tavern.
When he spawned he shot me directly in the face.
It was Krauss' turn to rez.
-Jason A. Bittner
so whos still up for sex?
-Jason