Death is just the cousin of sleep.
What the fuck am I doing? I'm gonna sit here, and I'm gonna go out there, and I am just gonna wait. However long it takes. I don't have anything to lose. I don't want a man to tell me I was already lost before he found me. This is all coming out of a song, but it made me think. About the ridiculous rush. There's no such thing. I want this and this and this and I'm either gonna get it or I'll get over it. But, there's no reason to be irrational. I just haven't had enough time. I thought I had. It's time to switch gears. I'm gonna be a real weirdo and just say that Mercury is fuckin my shit up right now. Stupid, but true. look it up. It's all fun and games but it's all about me. I get cornier every year. Hahahhaahaha. but seriously. I've had enough... last summer was so awesome for me and I want another one that's even better. So I'm gonna start taking care of myself again with a new motive, and a goal in mind. The thing that scares me the most about this whole thing is that I'm being so spontaneous and irrational then actually rationalizing the whole thing beyond emotions... it's nuts, but it makes me feel like I can really take care of myself mentally. It's just a really weird feeling. Like I'm a grown up. And I dont really want to fuck up anymore. And I want to have my own particular place in the universe and I'm going to have to carve it out for myself. However I may choose. And I have to carve around myself as well to fit into this life I'm creating.