post-plebe summer entry
so, i come home in one month. thats pretty sweet.
i wrote this months ago, two weeks before I-day, about the navy picnic: "everyone was so nice today. the stories were terrifying though. stories about being up for days at a time, having mud in your face, having just run miles and miles carrying rifles, throwing up from exhaustion, needing IVs because of dehydration, being yelled at for hours, memorizing pages of ridiculous information in minutes, etc. i cant believe im doing this. i cant believe how soon im leaving. i cant believe this is happening. i cant believe the path ive chosen for my life. im proud. im looking forward to this. and yet... ive been reading yearbook entries...and a few of them have truly made me cry. i love so much here. i dont want this to be the end. im so used to my life. i dont know if im ready for change. i dont know if im ready for this. i would never be able to live with myself if i failed. i cant fail. i have to survive plebe summer. i wish i had more faith in myself."
let's attack those one at a time. i was not up for days at a time. they MADE you sleep 8 hours a night. you wouldnt survive on less given the activity. mud was in your face often, but you didnt notice it because of the sweat. running mile after mile sucked, but we didnt do it carrying rifles. just canteens. i did throw up from running, i did pass out from dehydration and go to medical. i was yelled at for days, memorized books, and in the end, am a better person for it. i did fail over plebe summer. its designed so that you do fail. over and over again. but ultimately, you get through. i miss home more than i can possibly say. my family, my dogs, my friends. the people here are absolutely amazing. 20th company is a family. these guys helped me through the hardest times. im so proud to be a member of the class of 2010, in 20th company: the bamf company.
so, here's the deal. comment with any question (about the summer, ac-year, whatever) and ill answer it honestly.
i wrote this months ago, two weeks before I-day, about the navy picnic: "everyone was so nice today. the stories were terrifying though. stories about being up for days at a time, having mud in your face, having just run miles and miles carrying rifles, throwing up from exhaustion, needing IVs because of dehydration, being yelled at for hours, memorizing pages of ridiculous information in minutes, etc. i cant believe im doing this. i cant believe how soon im leaving. i cant believe this is happening. i cant believe the path ive chosen for my life. im proud. im looking forward to this. and yet... ive been reading yearbook entries...and a few of them have truly made me cry. i love so much here. i dont want this to be the end. im so used to my life. i dont know if im ready for change. i dont know if im ready for this. i would never be able to live with myself if i failed. i cant fail. i have to survive plebe summer. i wish i had more faith in myself."
let's attack those one at a time. i was not up for days at a time. they MADE you sleep 8 hours a night. you wouldnt survive on less given the activity. mud was in your face often, but you didnt notice it because of the sweat. running mile after mile sucked, but we didnt do it carrying rifles. just canteens. i did throw up from running, i did pass out from dehydration and go to medical. i was yelled at for days, memorized books, and in the end, am a better person for it. i did fail over plebe summer. its designed so that you do fail. over and over again. but ultimately, you get through. i miss home more than i can possibly say. my family, my dogs, my friends. the people here are absolutely amazing. 20th company is a family. these guys helped me through the hardest times. im so proud to be a member of the class of 2010, in 20th company: the bamf company.
so, here's the deal. comment with any question (about the summer, ac-year, whatever) and ill answer it honestly.